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Seriously..(UPDATE)

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My fiance just left to go out and have a couple drinks with one of his friends and I'm bawling my eyes out crying right now. Hes only going to be gone a few hours but I have severe anxiety and depression and I cant help it. I used to do this when he would leave for work too but I got over it. He hasnt gone out in months and I'm not used to not being around him unless hes at work. I cant calm myself down, I'm sitting here chain-smoking my cigarettes just to take the edge off. I dont want to have these anxiety attacks when he leaves, I feel pathetic, I dont know what to do with myself and I cant make it go away. I cant fall asleep at night without him, there hasnt been a night we havent gone to bed together in about two years. Our son is alseep already and I dont know what to do with myself. I just need to be occupied so I figured I'd vent my problems to all of you, thanks for reading, I appreciate it.

Update: so my fiance left at 9:45pm, he said he would only be out "a couple hours" it is now almost 2am.. I dont know wether to be worried or pissed.. I'm a bit of both right now.. :'(
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by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 10:08 PM
Replies (61-70):
Jennifer_57
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 7:14 PM
1 mom liked this
After reading posts and replies, it sounds like the reason and trigger for you anxiety kicks in when he goes out because you dont have your family and you dont have friends, which at some point you did and you were let down by them, and although you know your SO wouldnt and you love and trust him, you still have the knowledge of what happened in your past and it still affects you very deeply. Tell him this, he may be able to help resolve your anxiety...i used to have horrible anxiety as well and I know its really shitty and uncontrollable unless you remove yourself from your triggers but sometimes you cant do that. Message me if you need to talk, and I'm the same with my SO, I cant sleep without him and hes the exact same way.
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MuhKayRuh
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 7:16 PM

I didn't say YOU were. You assumed that I was taking a jab at you.

Quoting lizjones:

"I wouldn't freak the hell out of my boyfriend wanted to get away from me for a ****few hours***** if I was latched on to him all the time."

Thats where I got you saying he was trying to get "away from me" because I'm "latched onto him all the time".


Quoting MuhKayRuh:

*rolls eyes* I hate when people get defensive towards someone who isn't trying to attack them at all. I was giving you examples of what you SOUND like because you never explained a backstory. All of that in ONE story would've summed things up and you wouldn't seem crazy. Do I give a shit if you give a shit about what I think? No. So that was a pointless statement as well. Get defensive all you want, but I sure as hell wasn't coming at you in a "bitchy" way. You're over reacting now. Did I SAY he was trying to "get away" from you? Did I SAY you are a "crazy clingy girlfriend"? No, I said that's what it SOUNDS like.



lizjones
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 7:27 PM
You made it seem that way.


Quoting MuhKayRuh:

I didn't say YOU were. You assumed that I was taking a jab at you.


Quoting lizjones:

"I wouldn't freak the hell out of my boyfriend wanted to get away from me for a ****few hours***** if I was latched on to him all the time."

Thats where I got you saying he was trying to get "away from me" because I'm "latched onto him all the time".



Quoting MuhKayRuh:


*rolls eyes* I hate when people get defensive towards someone who isn't trying to attack them at all. I was giving you examples of what you SOUND like because you never explained a backstory. All of that in ONE story would've summed things up and you wouldn't seem crazy. Do I give a shit if you give a shit about what I think? No. So that was a pointless statement as well. Get defensive all you want, but I sure as hell wasn't coming at you in a "bitchy" way. You're over reacting now. Did I SAY he was trying to "get away" from you? Did I SAY you are a "crazy clingy girlfriend"? No, I said that's what it SOUNDS like.





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mandadbaker
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 8:14 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm sorry to hear about that, my fiance goes out with his friends a lot as well. It sucks, but I learned to deal with it my reading or being online. I hate not sleeping with him either, but I've learned you gotta get through being without someone at times. Depression and anxiety is hard to manage, trust me i watch my sister go through it. I can't stand to see that people have it. I hope you cheer up, and if you need anybody to talk to message me!

newmommytobe.
by Member on May. 1, 2012 at 12:08 AM

Well, I'm sure he's home by now. But did he ever text you or call you to let you know how everything was going? If it was 2 A.M. and he wasn't home and I didn't recieve any phone calls or texts, I'd be more worried then pissed off (unless of course I had trust issues, which would be a totally different story. And I'm just referring to me, nobody else in general). But if everything is good in your relantionship, then I'm sure everything will be fine(:

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Imsoinlove
by on May. 1, 2012 at 12:18 AM

I hear you! I have anxiety and depression, if my husband is gone for longer than he says I start getting mad then I will get worried and have mini anxiety attacks, I start going over different things that could happen to him. But, then he comes home and I feel better. It's not when he goes to work just when he goes to the store or something like that. So I totally know where you are coming from!!!

Redwall
by on May. 1, 2012 at 7:37 PM

Oh, honey, I'm sorry...might just want to figure out what he was doing before you marry him....

lizjones
by on May. 1, 2012 at 8:48 PM
I know what he was doing. He was out with his friend. I trust him.


Quoting Redwall:

Oh, honey, I'm sorry...might just want to figure out what he was doing before you marry him....


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BeachMama05
by Jamie on May. 1, 2012 at 8:54 PM

hugs!

remaining_me
by Kay on May. 1, 2012 at 8:57 PM

you need to talk to someone about that. that's not fair to him or you. and hopefully it wont, but if that spills over to your son it could be even more of a problem. i have depression and anxiety issues as well and i was nowhere near as dependent on my husband as you are your fiance, but i did have similar times like that about 3-4 years back. it really helps to get help. good luck.

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