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Are you really doing this to me? -vent-

Posted by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 11:55 AM
  • 8 Replies

My DF and I have been together for 4 years this summer, and over the last few days he seems to have completely retracted himself from me. He used to be super affectionate and sweet, he used to rub my back and playfully smack my butt all the time, and he even used to cuddle with me until I fell asleep before he went to sleep, no matter how late it was.

Over the last few days he's just... changed. He doesn't say I love you any more. No kisses or hugs or anything. I have even tried to convince him to have sex with me, and he's just not interested (which has never happened), I am at my wits end with this, I ask if everything is fine and he says yeah, then goes back to whatever he was doing which is usually playing his xbox. He hasn't been showering either which is starting to really bother me. I put so much effort into trying to look good for him, and he doesn't even shower.

I love him with all my heart, and I don't want to lose our relationship right before my daughter's 1st birthday but i feel like that's where it is headed. I've tried talking and being physical and affectionate, but he's just... blank.I really don't want to leave him either, because all of my family is well over a few hundred miles away and that's where I'll have to go if our relationship is over, and he'll never really get to see our daughter. i'm sitting here in tears over this, because i'm still madly in love with who he was and i don't know if this is just a phase or if there's something seriously wrong. I know all of his passwords so I know he's not cheating, and if he is, he's being really really sneaky. I pick him up from work most days, and he doesn't ever go out except for D&D with his friends, I've told him he could if he'd really like to. I even told him to go out on his birthday and he just says "eh, i'd rather not" .

I'm sorry this is so long, i'm just so emotionally torn right now. and i am super super confused about why he's acting this way.

by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 11:55 AM
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Replies (1-8):
parkersmama08
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 12:03 PM
It sounds like he could be depressed. I'm sorry. I hope he gets whatever help he needs.
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MommyPhoenix11
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 12:26 PM

Thank you. I know he has a history of depression, I just don't know where it could have come from. We were so happy until a few days ago, and I don't know how to help him.

Quoting parkersmama08:

It sounds like he could be depressed. I'm sorry. I hope he gets whatever help he needs.


-KC-
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 12:48 PM
When a guys behavior changes, theres something going on. Talk to him, more than a yes/no conversation.
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JayBearsmomma
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 1:40 PM
I agree u need to dig deeper

Quoting -KC-:

When a guys behavior changes, theres something going on. Talk to him, more than a yes/no conversation.
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sxymomma20
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 1:44 PM

sounds like either he is depressed or hate to saying it but pulling away ..............my bf is not the lovey dovey type so I wouldnt know how to act if he was and started doing something like that....maybe have you tried to get him to talk or see if anyone will talk to him at all

LifeSavorLove
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 7:57 PM

he does sound depressed. people with a history of deppresion usually of depression that comes and goes. the "coming: of depression can happen for no real reason or can just be from doing generally the same thing week by week. the "going" of depression is a bit harder. to help try taking him some where he hasnt been in awhile or has never been. he needs to doing something fun not including sex lol. like bowling..beach..movies..rock climbing..go karts?? just throwing things out there.

phrenicfire89
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 8:07 PM
No offense but stop thinking about YOU. He is acting normal for a guy who is stressed out about something. SOMETHING IS BOTHERING HIM. So give him some time and space. Why are you only worried about if your relationship is over? That's ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. Shop pushing him and be here for him. Relationships aren't all about sex and attention.
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goochie
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 8:19 PM

Give it a few days without asking him any questions etc.  Sometimes guys fall into moods for no given reason.  You mentioned he had a bout with depression.  He could possibly be having an episode, especially since you say he is not showering.  It really does sound like it.  Give him some space, go about your buisness as if nothing has changed and don't worry quite yet about your relationship.  If he is going through a depression state he may need to get some help depending on how long it lasts.  After a few days of not questioning him , if he is still no responsive, then ask him if he feels like he is in a depression and if he thinks he needs some help to get out of it.  Most of the time men will begin this pattern of no attention on a daily basis for a period of time if they had something up their sleeve.  If this just started I would turn more on the depression side rather than he wants out or something else.  Good luck

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