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Unplanned, young pregnancy. Coping with the fears-I need some courage.

Posted by on May. 1, 2012 at 10:55 PM
  • 31 Replies

I'm anit-abortion. So that's out. And adoption, i couldn't bare it. Plus why would i even consider either or when i have the father by my side (we are married) but were both still very young. When baby gets here in December i will be 19 and he will be 20. We just got married in february, and didn't plan on this (though we should have been more cautious i guess we didn't think it would happen- silly us) Of course we will parent our baby. Of course we will love it. But is it so wrong that I'm freaked? I'm scared. I had plans, i haven't been through college i have a shitty weekend only job atm and my husband just got laid off. Its so much to bear. Were living in with his parents and they give me hell daily. The stress is unbearable. Though, there is joy too. I look down and even though i cant see the baby bump there yet, i still feel connected, i still feel whats going on inside my body, and i know i love it and will from now until the day i die. yet all these conflicting emotions are killing me. "will the baby be healthy, will i have a normal delivery (i am also over weight) will my husband stick with me through the stress or will this destroy our marriage because neither one of us are ready and both have high expectations of ourselves, will we be with his parents for ever and have the burden of them over our shoulders and there opinions constantly."

Someone has to be going through this as well and not just me. Advice? Success stories? Something please. i need some courage right now.


by on May. 1, 2012 at 10:55 PM
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by Bronze Member on May. 1, 2012 at 10:58 PM
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Im mobile , can't type much...but know i have been through this too. fee free to pm if you need someone to talk to. ill type more once dd is asleep and i have a real keyboard.
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by on May. 1, 2012 at 11:03 PM

Quoting shadow_lark:

Im mobile , can't type much...but know i have been through this too. fee free to pm if you need someone to talk to. ill type more once dd is asleep and i have a real keyboard.

thank you so much i definitely will, i have no one to talk to no mother no nothing, and i cant go to my husband with these thoughts/feelings it will only stress him out more! :(

by on May. 1, 2012 at 11:17 PM
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Crazy story if you have the time to read it:

My now-husband and I were dating for 3 months, got engaged and then a month later, found out that we were pregnant. I was in the very beginning of my second semester of college. I was supposed to be a high powered CEO of a multi-million dollar company and here I was preggo with the man who I'd only known for 4 months baby. Freaked out was an understatement.

Skip to today: We're very happily married, I'm a full-time online student at Penn State, and I'm a full time stay at home mom. I was supposed to graduate in May of 2013 and now I'm slated to graduate in December of 2013 (only a semester behind my goal)! Oh, and we live an hour and a half away from my family, 2 and a half hours away from my husband's family, and have no friends in our area who aren't partying college students.

It's really possible! The best piece of advice that I could give is to get as much as you can done BEFORE the baby is born; especially with school and money. As exhausted as you are when you're pregnant, it's so much easier to do school without juggling a baby AND classes. Online classes are a God send! Take those things as much as you can!

And you'll go through phases of being super fine with having a baby, being super excited to have the baby and then the next thing you know, you want to scream and freak out! It happens! Just take things in stride and take it easy. Lean on your husband for emotional support and let him know that you're going to need him there for you as much as possible.

The important thing to remember is that you WILL have days where it sucks and you WILL have days where life is the best! Just take it all day by day and take the good with the bad because the rewards of having a baby and a family outweigh the stresses.

Please message me if you have any more questions! I'd love to help if I can!

by on May. 1, 2012 at 11:26 PM

I'm 19 as well and due in July. This was an unplanned baby and came at a very inopportune time, but we're making it work. While it was super overwhelming in the beginning, things have been working themselves out. pm me whenever! things will be okay :)

by on May. 1, 2012 at 11:27 PM
Since you are keeping the baby...things will be rough, but you find ways to make it work. Good luck and Congrats!
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by on May. 1, 2012 at 11:28 PM
I had my son at 19 i am 23 now, hes 4. Its not easy street but u can do it stay strong and ask for help or advice when u need it
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by on May. 1, 2012 at 11:31 PM
I'm 16 and due in July. It was really hard for me when I first found out. My view were the same as yours. Now that I'm so far in I couldn't picture amyother option besides keeping my little boy. J never thought it would, but things worked out for me. Just stag positive and keep a food support mom always told me the baby could sense what I feel so send him love Not worry. I'm hear if you need me!
by on May. 1, 2012 at 11:35 PM
First off momma just breathe and congrats on your unexpected bundle. Its perfectly normal to be freaking out right now. I was just 17 when I found out I was pregnant and now I am 18 and 37 weeks along just waiting for her to come. Right now the most you can do is take care of yourself and look into some state help. I personally don't qualify for any (dad makes too much money) so I'm not too much help there, but there are some great programs out there that hopefully you will qualify for.

The next thing is try and get a good support system. Your young yes, but you CAN do this....but its a lot lot easier with loving support. Some people (as my parents did) will freak out at first, but you need to remember is WILL get better. Maybe not right away, as it took my parents an ultrasound, and maybe not till the baby arrives, but they most likely come around. I mean come on, who doesn't love babies!

Now for all of your worries about a healthy baby. Take care of yourself as best as you can. I too am over weight and (knock on wood) I am having a perfectly healthy baby girl and plan on a normal delivery. Talk to your doctors and DON'T be afraid to ask questions! The more you ask the better, seriously. Once again all of your worrying is normal. I was completley freaked out, and still am, and the doctors say its just because we love our little one so much!

Sorry this is so long but I hope it helped. Feel free to message me when ever and seriously, good luck with everything.
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by on May. 1, 2012 at 11:39 PM
Having a baby is very stressful, it's also very stressful on relationships but overtime it gets easier once you get the hang of things. My boyfriend and I had an unplanned pregnancy also and were worried that we weren't ready but we went to so many baby classes: breast feeding, bringing home baby, and so on and so forth. It prepared us big time! Although not to sugar coat anything, once the baby got here, the first week was hell, then the first few months was rough but started to smooth out on our relationship. It will get easier! If not then you can't say you haven't tried!
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by on May. 1, 2012 at 11:45 PM
I was 17 when I had my first, 18 when I had my 2nd, 3rd when I was 21,, im 22 now, It wasnt easy at all. But I wouldnt trade it for the world. I was scared, nervous. Normal feelings.. I havent went to collage but I plan too. Im married to my sons daddy. Its hard but we make it through... Btw congrats, things will be easy&hard all at the same time. Just ask advice
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