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Unplanned, young pregnancy. Coping with the fears-I need some courage.

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I'm anit-abortion. So that's out. And adoption, i couldn't bare it. Plus why would i even consider either or when i have the father by my side (we are married) but were both still very young. When baby gets here in December i will be 19 and he will be 20. We just got married in february, and didn't plan on this (though we should have been more cautious i guess we didn't think it would happen- silly us) Of course we will parent our baby. Of course we will love it. But is it so wrong that I'm freaked? I'm scared. I had plans, i haven't been through college i have a shitty weekend only job atm and my husband just got laid off. Its so much to bear. Were living in with his parents and they give me hell daily. The stress is unbearable. Though, there is joy too. I look down and even though i cant see the baby bump there yet, i still feel connected, i still feel whats going on inside my body, and i know i love it and will from now until the day i die. yet all these conflicting emotions are killing me. "will the baby be healthy, will i have a normal delivery (i am also over weight) will my husband stick with me through the stress or will this destroy our marriage because neither one of us are ready and both have high expectations of ourselves, will we be with his parents for ever and have the burden of them over our shoulders and there opinions constantly."

Someone has to be going through this as well and not just me. Advice? Success stories? Something please. i need some courage right now.


by on May. 1, 2012 at 10:55 PM
Replies (11-20):
by on May. 1, 2012 at 11:45 PM
I was 17 when I had my first, 18 when I had my 2nd, 3rd when I was 21,, im 22 now, It wasnt easy at all. But I wouldnt trade it for the world. I was scared, nervous. Normal feelings.. I havent went to collage but I plan too. Im married to my sons daddy. Its hard but we make it through... Btw congrats, things will be easy&hard all at the same time. Just ask for advice
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by on May. 1, 2012 at 11:57 PM

I was pregnant a the age of 16 with my 1st son, I thought I would never make it. Though I did. I don't believe in abortion either, I kept my son and through the heart ache of my ex husband being a crack, meth, pill head and alcoholic, I still made it through with not 1 kid but 3 by time I was 21. Now I am 31 and there was hard times( still are at times ), I did eventually get a divorce and remarried, and currently am back in school ( heck my oldest son is 15 and is about to graduate next year with honors) so I went back. Give yourself alot of positive thoughts and never give up on any dreams just because your fixing to be a new parent. Its not going to be easy, but in the long run it will be worth your hard work, determination, and patients. Good luck and hope all goes well with you.

by on May. 1, 2012 at 11:58 PM
i was 16 when I had my son. You can do it if you put your mind to it. Good luck :)
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by on May. 2, 2012 at 12:00 AM

I understand where your coming from my bby boy was from a unplanned pregnancy also and i understand how you feel i felt the same way you feel like you have no one to go to but theres more out there trust me yeah you might feel like its all falling apart but no need to worry when he or she is here you will feel so happy. And little by little things get better. I sent you a friend invite hope we can talk more(:

by on May. 2, 2012 at 12:47 AM

Well I can tell you, my baby was unplanned. Severly. I've said this in a previous post, I was ready for surgery and in the holding room the day they let me know I was pregnant. BIG shocker! Haha. But needless to say, an awesome shocker. Sucked that I couldn't get my surgery done, but then again, everything happens for a reason. I'm 19 and will be 20 when my baby is born. My SO will be 24. We're not in bad shape to have a baby, but trust me if he loves and cares for you, which I'm sure he does because you guys are married, you guys will get through this 9 month roller coaster ride. Just let him know he has to be patient with you. We heard the baby's heart beat yesterday and it was amazing! Late this month I get to find out if I'm having a baby girl or baby boy. All this is totally worth everything that comes with pregnancy<3 Just because you're young, both of you, doesn't mean you won't be great parents. Just means you may have it a little harder. But who cares right? It's all worth it when you hold your child in your arms for the first time. (: PM me if you ever need to talk. Good luck!

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by on May. 2, 2012 at 1:11 AM
I understand where you are coming from. I found out I was pregnant with DD after her daddy (now my fiancée) and I had only been together for three months. I was somewhat scared then. But I knew I could make it work with or without his support.

My big freak out came when 3 months after giving birth to DD we found out I was pregnant with DD #2.

(Sorry I'm on my phone and I can't scroll up to add this... But I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant with DD #1 and had her at 20. And will only be 21 when I have DD #2)

I understand what it's like when you feel that unconditional love yet you can't help but think to yourself that you had plans and goals that you either can't accomplish now or that it is going to be extremely difficult to accomplish. I hadn't gone to college before I had DD because I couldn't afford it. I decided that I would work so that I could pay off some bills that I already had and save up to go to school. I planned on going back after DD was born but then when we found out about DD #2 I had to put school even further on hold. I was really upset. I wanted to go to school and get a job and help support our family.

It was really hard and to be honest I thought I would regret not going to school sooner but I realized after my daughter was born that the smallest little detail of my past is the reason I have a beautiful, healthy family.

I'm going to school this fall. I'm only going for a certificate that way I will only be in for a year and I will be able to focus more on my babies and then go get the degree once they are older and more independent. You can do this momma!
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by Platinum Member on May. 2, 2012 at 1:12 AM
Those are normal feelings/worries for every mom:)

I had my boys at 17, 19, and 21. I'm 22 now and my boys are 4(5 in Aug), 3, and almost 8 months. I was terrified each time I got pregnant.
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by on May. 2, 2012 at 1:40 AM

I am 20 and my husband is 21 but we have been married for 3 yrs and planned our son. But what you are going through is normal . We are scared of the unknown and I am terrified about labor lol. 

by on May. 2, 2012 at 1:46 AM
Momma by the looks of those pregnancy tests, you need to see a doctor & get your HGC levels checked. Each day the positive sign is getting lighter, it should be getting darker! Goodluck momma, its a struggle but an awsome, very rewarding struggle <3
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by on May. 2, 2012 at 1:47 AM

It's totally normal for even women twice our age to freak out about unplanned pregnancy. I was only 19 when I found out I was pregnant and I had to freak out even more because her father left me and got another girl pregnant. I freaked and freaked but then I met my current boyfriend and not only have we been together for over a year but he has been there more than her real father. Even though we got through that together, we still freak out about how to raise her or how we will afford this one month but if you keep your head up and believe you can do this now, you can. Good luck!

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