Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter Arianna, but this is not what I wanted for my life at the age of 18. I had so many plans for myself, attending a University this fall, going out to the club with my friends, and everything else that comes with being 18. Now, my main focus is on a baby.
My family talks about me, my dad can't even look at me and I find myself crying almost every single day. I'm so tired of hearing people say that they're disappointed that I could scream! Don't they think I'm disappointed in myself?! So now, instead of buying things for my dorm room, I'm buying diapers, onesies and wipes! I'm not going to pull that "OMG, I can't believe this happened to me!" card, because shit happens, but damn, I can't believe it! Reality still has yet to set in that I'm a mother, it doesn't seem real to me.
My boyfriend of 3 years is very active in our daughters life, but this is not something that we planned and now we have to grow up way faster than we imagined at this time in our lives. We are both very intelligent people, and now we have a responsibility to take care of far bigger than the both of us.
People keep telling me to call them if I need to talk, but this is taking such a huge toll on me, that I can't even put words together. I love my daughter, but she is here far too soon. I now have to put my wants and needs aside to take care of her. Damn...