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what would you do if you were in my position??

Posted by on May. 3, 2012 at 9:53 AM
  • 11 Replies

Okay well its about me and my fiance's relationship. we never get along anymore, he's always mad at me, and he always says we're done. like our relationship isnt very good at all. im to the point i want to cry my eyes out constantly. i feel never good enough for him, he'll apologize and a few minutes later it's repeated. i know i aint perfect and i do stuff that can upset him but EVERYDAY?! our relationship isnt even about happiness anymore, more like fighting and arguing and UNHAPPINESS. im not happy with him anymore and he's pushing me away so bad. this August we'd be together for 5 years. all this was going on before i got pregnant but after i had my son it got completely worse, i feel as if i dont need to be with him because of all this. im sorry to say but he's making me hate him and completely just want to leave. i left and moved back with my family because of it. he wanted to be with his family so he decided to move in with me but im to the point i want to tell him to just go move back with his mom and that me and him aint right for each other. my son doesnt need to be around negative things and i dont like it that's why i left in the first place. constant fighting and at that time was NEVER really helping me with our son. im really upset, even at school, i just dont want to be here.... and sad part is he's sitting far away from me and our son... (our son has to come to school with us because have no one to watch him.) BUT MAIN QUESTION IS WHAT WOULD YOU DO??sad

CafeMom Tickers
by on May. 3, 2012 at 9:53 AM
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Replies (1-10):
1.hot.mama2005
by on May. 3, 2012 at 10:25 AM
That's a tough one. Try talking to him first. See if there is something else bothering him, that he is keeping to himself. BUT if you are really unhappy, I would suggest taking a break from each other. Good luck! I hope everything gets worked out!
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tm88rn
by on May. 3, 2012 at 10:51 AM

Try talking or counseling. If that doesn't work, get out. 

-KC-
by on May. 3, 2012 at 1:58 PM
Face it, youre not happy anymore. I would tell him to straighten up, or hes going to loose his family. See what he does. If that doesnt work, let him go.
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C.H.E.L.S.E.A
by Silver Member on May. 3, 2012 at 3:05 PM

 I wouldn't stay with someone if I was always unhappy being with them. Especially if he was always saying we were done...seems like he isn't very invested in the relationship

heather4511
by on May. 3, 2012 at 3:31 PM
Exactly.

Quoting tm88rn:

Try talking or counseling. If that doesn't work, get out. 

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amanda0490
by on May. 3, 2012 at 6:56 PM

Me and my fiance were like that once. I made him move back to his dads house. A month later he was begging me to let him come back, that he had changed. Now we're back together and dont argue as much. I say do the same and if he doesn't get better, then you are better off without him in your life

newmommytobe.
by on May. 3, 2012 at 8:03 PM

I would sit down and have a conversation with him. Like a serious conversation with him, not one where he acts like he's listening and actually zoned out. He might have some thing or some things bottled up inside. If nothing gets to him, tell him to move back with his mom. You and your child deserve better. Counseling might work too. But ultimately, if nothing works out, leave him. You're strong enough momma and I'm sure you'll have support along the way. If you need to talk about anything, feel free to pm me. Good luck.

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mommywife2b
by on May. 3, 2012 at 8:15 PM

 Im sorry to hear what yor going through. Its really a tough decision to make but at the end of the day its completely up to you. I will give my opinion only because you asked but I hope that whatever you decide you are doing what is best for you, not what every one is telling you to do.. I personally have been in a situation similar to yours but my guy was abusive. I say get out now. If you are constantly unhappy and wanting to cry and he constantly is doing and saying the same things you should just leave him alone and find a way to be happy alone. In my opinion, if someone is constantly repeating the same things I feel like they really mean what they are saying no matter how many times they apologize. If they didnt mean it they never would have said it and they definitely wouldnt be repeating it. You need to be happy, you have an adorable baby that you need to be happy for, dont stay until your depressed or something hun.. Think of whats best for the baby AND yourself.. Never just stay unhappy with a man just because you want the father around. Your baby needs and deserves to have a happy mommy!!

Kellyjude1
by Member on May. 3, 2012 at 8:19 PM

 I am so sorry for what you must be going through.  I am sure this is not easy for you especially since the two of you have been together for 5 years.  However, in your post clearly you are not happy.  I think you need to let your boyfriend know your feelings and how much this effects you.  You deserve to be happy and should not have to be worried over what your boyfriend may say or do next.  Open communication is always important.  Your boyfriend needs to respect you enough to listen and understand your feelings.  Ultimately the choice will be yours if you stay or not.  I say follow your heart and if you are not happy maybe some time a part may help.  Only time will tell if this is meant to be than it will.  If he cares and loves you enough than he will change.  Right now your happiness should be most important and of course your little one- everything else will fall into place if it is meant to....

sbdbailey
by on May. 4, 2012 at 9:19 AM

thanks everyone. well we talked.. getting along but our main problem that really is effecting us is we dont get quality time together and we cant show each other our appreciation or have our intimate relationship like we use to because we live with my family. it really takes a turn when you have no choice but to secretly show each other those feelings etc. plus the stress my family puts on us is a TREMEDOUS amount. more my mom but she more the crap talker in it!! yeah she really aggravates me. And we are planning on moving near the end this month because i cant take another day with her and she said so very rude stuff to me and we got in a HUGE argument yesterday. sad part i had to leave my son with my fiance because i didnt want him to hear anymore arguments!!! i think once me and my fiance get our own place and no one bosses us around and talks so much crap we can focus on each other more and making good of our relationship. we lost it in the mess of my family. 

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