this time of the year is hard!

[1sttimemom2011]

So every year seems to get harder for me instead of easier... my mom died 9 years ago tomorrow. i have never been able to let it go, or even forgive her so i always feel guilty about her death. she was a alchoholic and drank herself to death. :( she was my best friend when i was a child and i just felt like she was selfish for leaving me. i know it wasnt her fault because i know addiction like that is a sickness. all i know is that i miss her! so very much. mothers day is hard, my son not having a grandma is hard, me not having my mom there for my future wedding is hard, everyday knowing i cant pick up the phone and just call her is hard! its all hard, and im struggling. i think alot of my weight problems are because of the sadness of mising my mom. i just wish she knew i was sorry. :( i was almost 12 when she died and the last time i saw her i was livid and calling her selfish. i wish i could take it all back. maybe then i could move on. anyways, mom i miss u. i love u and rest in peace. sorry bout the rant

[mlg9209]

Man. I can't imagine life without my mother. But I know it's going to happen one day. U have every right to feel the way you do. She knows how u really feel. *hugs*

[Dino2012]

awwww hun. i'm really sorry to hear that. but i'm gunna tell you a short story. my uncle die a few years ago. and yeah he was going threw a rough patch and was telling my aunt his wife, that he was a horrible father and all this stuff. he went out drinking and got drunk, he died in a really really bad car addicent. luckily no one else was involved. but the point of this, is my cousin, his son, they got into a really bad fight. he wasnt able to say sorry. and it bugs him and it hurts him he couldnt. but he stays strong and remembers all the good memories and knows one day he'll see him again and he knows he loved him.

you have to stay strong and know she does love you.
and i'm sorry you feel this way :(

[remaining_me]

=[ *hugs*

[SamiiSecurity]

I am so sorry. I would be miserable without my mom here. My best friend since the 2nd grade's mom died when we were 12, and I remember feeling awful. Your mom knows how you feel, and she would want you to be happy. That's what parents want for their kids. Again, I'm sorry though):

[Bgbluford785]

Omgoodness bless u girlie!! I'm so sorry about all u are going through! If u ever just need someone to listen too I'm here. I don't have much advice but I am a great listner. Hugs!

[1.hot.mama2005]

*HUGS*

[.Angelica.]

so sorry for your loss. :(

[KaroGreenly]

If you're not currently going, I would suggest therapy.

[Lilmzmegz]

One of my friends goes to her moms grave(Her mom died around the same time but it was from cancer and her and her mom got in a big fight) And every year she appologizes. It seems to help her somewhat deal with everything. Just know your mom is there with you spiritually. And its always said that animals and real young kids can see spirits(I have 2 true stories with this that I do fully believe if you would like message me and I can explain them.)So even if you may not be able to see her or have her there. She can still be there for your child.