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Cheated on while pregnant...advice please!

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Ok. So I am 21 years old and the mother of a wonderful 3 year old little boy, A.J. I got pregnant with him in high school and had him when I ws only 17. His father and I were together 6 years, breaking up after many long fights and just simply growing apart after all of the years. He no longer has anything to do with his son. After breaking up, I met a boy that I went to high school with, but never thought anything about. He knew I had a kid, and stepped up immediately to take care of him and be his father. He has been doing this for 7 months, but things take a little twist because now I am 3 months pregnant with his child. Everything was going great, except for the few fights we have off and on. The last fight we had he texted his ex and talked to her, telling her that he loved her and missed her. He denied that I was pregnant. I caught him doing this, and nothing ever became physical between them because they live 1 hour apart. However, now I am debating whether to be with him or not. I do not want two dead beat dads, and do not want to look like a slutty girl by having kids with two different guys. However, I also do not want to be cheated on over and over when he gets mad.

What should I do???

by on May. 17, 2012 at 11:19 AM
Replies (21-30):
by on May. 18, 2012 at 2:48 AM
Bump for later
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by on May. 18, 2012 at 4:50 AM

 i would give him a chance... tbh i tell friends that love them and 99% of my exs are still my friends because we found it was better to be friends... my sister has two babies... the first from a guy she wasnt dating... he wasnt in the picture and just a while ago she met her dad for the first time he had ben in jail and started writing her letters wantingto be in her life... the second with a guy she was with for a few years.... he would beat her and there was an incident where there was suspicion that he "touched"my niece... my sister also had another baby from him but my cousin adopted point is it doesnt matter how many "baby daddies you have.. all that matters is that you love your children and take care of them... either way your family will love them so it doesnt matter what other people think

by on May. 18, 2012 at 5:21 AM
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 ok so she is 21 years old and your telling her to stop dating until her kids are 18.... so so she will be about 41 years old... now i know some people might say what im about to say is selfish... but i dont mean it that way.... so here goes... you are stupid... why cant SHE have a life? yes she has 2 children now but it doesnt mean she cant have a life.. a relationship. maybe she will find the right guy for her and get married and have a family all of them together... it makes no sence that she needs to stop having a life of her own... because it is completely possible to raise your kids well and still have a life to be had. and you said it is HER fault partially? how the hell is any of it HER fault? ok so the first baby daddy they didnt work out anymore... thye broke up... HE can still be in his childs life but no he decided to abandon him. this next one.. HE is potentially cheating on HER! how the hell is any of it HER fault?? she just wants a family for them... a mom, a dad, a family... this has got to be the WORST advice i have seen be given and i have seen a lot of doozys... just because you want "what is best for the children while sheltering them from every thing and giving up on your life because you are now a mother" doesnt mean that everyone should do that she wont "ruin" her childrens life by dating fyi

Quoting flowerfunleah:

Leave this guy.

Don't date again until your kids are grown and out of the house. Or at least until they're 18. 

Explain to your children why their dads aren't in the picture. Admit fault. This is half your fault. 

Concentrate on raising your children and not dating. 


by on May. 18, 2012 at 7:10 AM
Child support ;)
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by on May. 18, 2012 at 7:48 AM

you know what you need to do? Stand up for yourself. Don't stay with someone out of fear of what other people will say or think! Show everyone that you won't put up with bullshit, let him go. Focus on your kids. Focus on you. You CAN do it. Make something of yourself, don't worry about this guy or any other guy get your life together and a good one will eventually come along. Don't waste anymore time on people who just bring you down and treat you like crap! Your kids will thank you for this one day. They don't want to see their mom upset and treated badly by a man. Be an independent woman who can take care of herself! :) 

by on May. 18, 2012 at 7:54 AM

I have been in this EXACT situation!! ~Hugs~ For me I confronted him. I made sure he knew straight up, anything like that ever happened again I would walk, I would walk and never come back, he would get to see his child, but on my terms. I knew in my heart he loved my daughter and I, and I knew he wanted a family with me. He did something stupid so I gave him a fighting chance. I dont know your BF's past so I cant say this would work for y'all, but when I walked out that door and he felt threatened enough that he may lose his family before it fully began, he straightened up in a hurry. He didnt get off easy either though. I checked his email, I checked his phone. He never knew when I would, and he never knew when I did. He proved himself. So if you love this guy and want to make it work, it is possible.

Best of luck!!

by on May. 18, 2012 at 7:57 AM

im sry. i hope you figure it all out.

by on May. 18, 2012 at 8:05 AM

What type of debate is there exactly?

by on May. 18, 2012 at 8:29 AM

Quoting priincessz:

What's the point in staying with a man that will fight with you to give him an excuse to cheat?! That's a pussy move he Is doing and its not worth the heartache and tears trust me. Your kids are more important than those two deadbeats. Leave his ass if he doesnt change.

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by on May. 18, 2012 at 8:58 AM

Quoting PinkDreamer19:

First of all, you're not a slut because you have two kids by two different guys. Second, I know from past experiences that this will not change. This behavior will continue and you don't wanna be put through it. Just leave his pathetic ass and be the best mommy.

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