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I should have done the right thing...

Posted by on Jun. 20, 2012 at 9:03 PM
  • 16 Replies



Question: Am I a bad person? A failure? A let down?




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I'm 5 1/2 months pregnant, and nothing in life is going right. I thought even with an unplanned pregnancy and me being only 17 i could still make it work with faith. I have a great guy that just bought a house for us and i adore him, but i hate when we get into fights, and he make me feel like im nothing. I know he doesnt mean to but hes really good at doing that to me.

I decided to finish school early and do summer work. Today i told him since school is my main focus i wanted to quit my job, finish school, and find a job later. Its really hard to work when ur pregnant might i add, and my job requires me standing on my feet for 5hrs, NO BREAK. He went off calling me selfish and said im a dissapointment which was really hurtful coming from him. He is the only person that didnt say that to me until now.

Today was just and awful day, I thought I gathered enough money to get my hair done but when I got there she told me it would be more, I asked if I could pay some now and some later and she told me no, and asked again and she said no again and asked me to leave. I cried as soon as I left the place cause I felt soo humiliated. I started to head home and noticed the car was on E. I got to the gas station and tried to use my card. It didn't work, I asked the cashier to take 15 from my card, declined. I asked her to do 10, declined. And finally 5.... Declined. I said ok and walked outside and sat in my car for awhile. I noticed the woman in line behind me was walking to my car so I got out and she told me she put $20 in my car. I told her thank you and hugged her and just cried in her arms. Now that I think about it I really wish I got her name. :/ even after she left I just sat there in the car and cried, I realized I'm the type of person that does things for others but nothing was ever done for me like that.

Anyway, when I say should have done the right thing im talking about abortion. I found out I was pregnant a little after 3months. I still had the time to do it but I froze when it came to, I just couldn't. But now that everything is going wrong and I'm low on cash there's no way I can support a child, and adoption is just sad and would kill me. I honestly don't know what to do. I feel so hurt and helpless right now. I've never felt this way in life and it's heartbreaking. Am I really a failure for attempting to do the right thing?

by on Jun. 20, 2012 at 9:03 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by Member on Jun. 20, 2012 at 9:09 PM

If you had really wanted an abortion you probably wouldn't have froze with the decision. I think you may just be feeling utterly confused and without direction. Pregnancy is hard. People treated me horribly when I was pregnant with my daughter. I was your age then. I'm sorry your significant other said that to you. :/. You were only pleading your case. You hadn't even made a finalized decision, he should have listened to you and at least tried to understand your point of view. I'd understand something like that if you quit without telling him anything, but it would still be rude.

by on Jun. 20, 2012 at 9:11 PM

You aren't a failure, there is always adoption if you feel you can't take care of a baby. I'm sorry you are having such a hard time, life is never easy and I hope it gets better for you.

by on Jun. 20, 2012 at 10:13 PM

You arent a failure, everyone struggles at some point. Quitting your job should not be an option if your having a hard time with money! Maybe work less hours if possible. Good luck 

by on Jun. 20, 2012 at 10:42 PM
You aren't a failure, you are just going thru obstacles... don't give up
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by on Jun. 20, 2012 at 10:57 PM

Quoting piwife:

You aren't a failure, you are just going thru obstacles... don't give up

by on Jun. 21, 2012 at 2:10 PM

I was pregnant at the age of 16, working and trying to finish high school. It was very hard. I had some negative feedback, but there were always just a few really great people that kept me going. I wanted to leave school and my counselor encouraged me and helped me so much. I didn't want to work, but I knew I had no choice. I was in retail, so kind of in the same boat with getting very little time to rest. You just have to find the strengh within you to push forward. Your emotions are always a little wacky with all the hormones, so maybe your boyfriends reaction wouldn't have bothered you as much if you weren't pregnant. Maybe once you have the baby things will get better. Hang in there. I know it's tough, but I think anyone can do it if I did!


by on Jun. 21, 2012 at 2:29 PM
I'm sorry your going threw a hard time.your hubby shouldn't have said those things to you he had no right to.
Feel free to add me if you need someone to talk to feel free to add me.
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by Gold Member on Jun. 21, 2012 at 3:20 PM

it gets hard and hormones don't help. you're not a failure. you'll get though this. and talk to your boyfriend about getting a grip on his temper. its not okay to say whatever you want just because you're upset. he's supposed to support you, not tear you down.

by on Jun. 21, 2012 at 3:23 PM

Things will get better!  I think you're just stressed and emotional right now.  Good luck to you and keep your head up!  

by on Jun. 21, 2012 at 3:26 PM
1 mom liked this

I found the perfect quote for you darlin.

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