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Young Moms Young Moms

Fiance Problems...

Posted by on Jun. 24, 2012 at 11:58 PM
  • 18 Replies

I'm so sick of everything, besides my baby girl. Her and my family are the only light i have in my life anymore. My fiance is having priority issues. I live with him and his family. People run in and out of the house all the time. My fiance is 17 years old, and has yet to grow up. I'm a year older than him and the first time i laid eyes on my baby girl I grew up, and quick. He is to involved with himself and his friends to try helping me out. I don't believe changing your babies diaper twice a day is helping much. To him though its a lot.

Ladies, give me your opinions on what you'd do. I'm so confused atm!

My month old baby girl<3
7lbs and 6oz as of right now.







 









by on Jun. 24, 2012 at 11:58 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ArronEvanmomma
by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 12:19 AM
It takes a while for boys to grow up also they don't understand you need help. My hubby then fiancé barely helped with the twins when they were tiny. He was afraid to hurt them. Now he's helping all the time.
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mandadbaker
by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 12:28 AM

I just don't want to have to wait for that help anymore. I don't want it to be like this.

Vipergirl22
by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 3:53 AM

Honestly you just need to sit him down and have a good conversation one that is without your daughter and away from the family. Or take him on a walk so you two can talk and you can tell him how you have been feeling. My dh is turing 26 in August and he still isn't completely grown up but I know that is just him as well. So talk to him if you haven't already.

Innocencedreams
by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 9:41 AM

Men usually take longer to grow up, and teenage fathers rarely step up to the plate. Sad and wrong, but very true. You can either stick it out and hope and pray that he is the exception and that he grows up fast, or accept that it is just you who truly cares about raising your daughter. He may love her, but the responsibility, well, he's just a kid. Good luck.

IreneCarroll
by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 9:41 AM
bump


BeachMama05
by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 10:15 AM


Quoting Innocencedreams:

Men usually take longer to grow up, and teenage fathers rarely step up to the plate. Sad and wrong, but very true. You can either stick it out and hope and pray that he is the exception and that he grows up fast, or accept that it is just you who truly cares about raising your daughter. He may love her, but the responsibility, well, he's just a kid. Good luck.


KylersMom8-16-7
by Gold Member on Jun. 25, 2012 at 11:09 AM
1 mom liked this
My boyfriend was the same way we had our first at 17. He wasn't ready at all for the responsibility. He was even more freaked out when our second was born 16 months later.

We even broke up a couple times after having kids. The last was 7 months. After that we sat down and talked. We decided we wanted to be a family. He got a job, 2 weeks later he got his drivers license and we moved into our first place. Just under a year later I was pregnant again. We have 3 boys, he's a great father, a great boyfriend, a wonderful provider.

If you don't feel he's worth waiting for then leave. If you think an ultimatum will help tell him he needs to step up or you're gone.
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JayBearsmomma
by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 1:23 PM
I would sit down with him and tell him how u feel. make sure he knows ur tired of it
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newmommytobe.
by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 4:54 PM

Have a long ass conversation with him. Let him know how you feel. Either he steps up or you step out. You need a man, not a boy and so does your daughter.

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MayDay93
by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 6:13 PM
1 mom liked this

 If he is your fiance, just remind yourself that growing up together is part of marraige (or that potential marraige). You have to encourage him to grow up but be patient with him. I'm not excusing his behavior, because its very frustrating and unfair, but if you want it to work out you have to realize that he is an individual and will need to time to adjust to his new life as a dad and that may take longer than you would like. Talk to him, and be serious. Tell him you understand that he likes to hang out with friends and all that but you still need him and his help. Men like to feel needed but sometimes they just don't realize how much you need them to do. It won't always be like this, he's just young but he will grow up. Give him specific tasks to do, for example say "I need you to clean out her bottles so that I can feed her" or "Can you change her diaper while I go find her some clean clothes" or "I need you to hold her while I take a shower and then can you run some water for her next bath?" That way, he knows exactly what you need from him. He might just think that you don't need his help because you aren't asking for anything. So just tell him and then you can actually tell him what he isn't doing when he doesn't do it. So if you say "Can you change her diaper, i think it's soiled" and he responds with "No, I'm about go out" then that's your opportunity to bring up his priority issues.

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