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Young Moms Young Moms

Marriage advice.. Is getting married young a good idea?

Posted by on Jul. 20, 2012 at 2:12 PM
  • 32 Replies

Here is some back ground on us. I am 19, he is in his early 20's. We have a beautiful baby girl Serena and we live in a townhouse we are planning on purchasing soon. He works in the insurance business for a great company and makes enough money to support us so I do not have to work. I previously worked full time, now I go to college and take care of Serena who is 1 month old. I graduated high school at 16, I moved out at 14 to go to a boarding academy and finished my classes early. We moved in together 3 years ago, and we have had our ups and downs but we have stuck together through it all. Our families love us both and they are all pushing us to get married now that we have a little girl together. Our bank accounts are together, our names are both on the lease and if we decide to buy both of us would own the house, so I dont think it would make a big difference if we were married.

He wants to get married soon, he gave me a diamond promise ring 2 years ago and wants to get engaged as soon as we can afford a ring (the ring doesnt matter to me, i think its a pride thing for him.. he wants to buy me something expensive). Do you think 19 is too young to get married? We are very responsible and have been working since we were young, so we are much different than our friends that are our age. I think we are ready, I still want to do pre-mairrage counseling to work out the kinks in our relationship and to learn to communicate better, but I do love him and couldnt imagine myself with anyone else. I just don't want to make a mistake and it ruin our relationship. I also dont want to 'get married because of the kids' (even though we were thinking about it before I got pregnant, which we were planning btw). We live in NC and since we are in the south people tend to look down on unmarried couples with kids, I guess it is a religious thing. I have always thought that being married doesnt matter, as long as you are ina commited relationship and love eachother, it is just a piece of paper. But Im starting to realize that it is a big deal socially, especially when you have kids together. In our city, you get married as soon as you find out you are pregnant.

I dont want to get married for the wrong reasons.. advice please?!!? 


(Btw, I want to go to a resort by ourselves with very close family and have an affordable small wedding, so I wouldnt be one of those girls that 'fall in love with the wedding and not the marraige' and are so excited about planning the huge wedding that they forget they are getting married LOL) 

by on Jul. 20, 2012 at 2:12 PM
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Replies (1-10):
jaellys
by on Jul. 20, 2012 at 2:44 PM

i dont think its earlier, considering the fact that you have been together for so long and practically livem like a married couple. if its something that really bothers you just talk to your boyfriend about it. and i dont think you would be doing it for the wrong reasons... again your practically married... and if its something that is going to take off the pressure of your community then why not. just make sure that your both on the same page. good luck :)

LittleUtahMommy
by on Jul. 20, 2012 at 2:45 PM
I agree :)


Quoting jaellys:

i dont think its earlier, considering the fact that you have been together for so long and practically livem like a married couple. if its something that really bothers you just talk to your boyfriend about it. and i dont think you would be doing it for the wrong reasons... again your practically married... and if its something that is going to take off the pressure of your community then why not. just make sure that your both on the same page. good luck :)


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Innocencedreams
by on Jul. 20, 2012 at 3:31 PM
I was 18, my husband was 34 when we got married. We didn't have any kids together, he had an almost two year old, who I adopted. We've been married two years and have two kids and twins on the way. I was ready to get married, and I have no regrets. Only you know if marriage is right for you at this point.
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insaneygolover
by on Jul. 20, 2012 at 3:49 PM

yes, you both should get married

1.hot.mama2005
by Esther on Jul. 20, 2012 at 7:18 PM
I don't think you are too young. Maturity is an important factor when considering marriage. You two sound like you are ready. :) Good luck!
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bigmama423
by on Jul. 20, 2012 at 7:50 PM

I don't think age matters at all.

If you're ready and he is too then go for it, if that's what you both want.

I got married at 20, been married almost 8 years now. :)

lilmamabowers
by on Jul. 20, 2012 at 8:28 PM

I agree with everyone else. I dont think age has anything to do with love.

Marry for all the right reasons, not the wrong ones.

You sound to me as if your ready.

Your pretty much are already married, just not officially yet ;)

lashaunwilliams
by on Jul. 20, 2012 at 9:15 PM

I don't really think age matters if the person and situation are right for you. I married my husband just before turning 23 (he's only 6 months older). We have been married for five years, have three kids, and are very happy. Regardless of age, marriage has growing pains. It's not a fairy tale for anyone. And, in my opinion, sometimes those who marry young bring less baggage to the table. You are in a situation where you and your husband can really grow together and, in my experience, it has been awesome. My best to you and your family! Hope everything works out!

kayla19216
by on Jul. 20, 2012 at 9:27 PM
I think for a lot of people the while concept of marriage is a fearful thing because ots official...no turn backs. Or maybe it was me having cold feet. Lol. You both sound ready, and age to me isnt a factor of love/marriage. When you kbow, you know. I was with my husband 2 yrs and tied the knot officially 3 months ago. If you know you love him and want to marry him because of love and he loves you, not just for the baby then you both married for the right reasons. I say go for it :) and good luck!! Hope this made since..
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shadow_lark
by Bronze Member on Jul. 20, 2012 at 9:30 PM
I was 19. 3 years later we are still happily married. and we've been together 7 years total. my advice: Dont get married unless its absolutely something that you want. if you have mixed feelings, its.just going to fall apart.
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