Here is some back ground on us. I am 19, he is in his early 20's. We have a beautiful baby girl Serena and we live in a townhouse we are planning on purchasing soon. He works in the insurance business for a great company and makes enough money to support us so I do not have to work. I previously worked full time, now I go to college and take care of Serena who is 1 month old. I graduated high school at 16, I moved out at 14 to go to a boarding academy and finished my classes early. We moved in together 3 years ago, and we have had our ups and downs but we have stuck together through it all. Our families love us both and they are all pushing us to get married now that we have a little girl together. Our bank accounts are together, our names are both on the lease and if we decide to buy both of us would own the house, so I dont think it would make a big difference if we were married.
He wants to get married soon, he gave me a diamond promise ring 2 years ago and wants to get engaged as soon as we can afford a ring (the ring doesnt matter to me, i think its a pride thing for him.. he wants to buy me something expensive). Do you think 19 is too young to get married? We are very responsible and have been working since we were young, so we are much different than our friends that are our age. I think we are ready, I still want to do pre-mairrage counseling to work out the kinks in our relationship and to learn to communicate better, but I do love him and couldnt imagine myself with anyone else. I just don't want to make a mistake and it ruin our relationship. I also dont want to 'get married because of the kids' (even though we were thinking about it before I got pregnant, which we were planning btw). We live in NC and since we are in the south people tend to look down on unmarried couples with kids, I guess it is a religious thing. I have always thought that being married doesnt matter, as long as you are ina commited relationship and love eachother, it is just a piece of paper. But Im starting to realize that it is a big deal socially, especially when you have kids together. In our city, you get married as soon as you find out you are pregnant.
I dont want to get married for the wrong reasons.. advice please?!!?
(Btw, I want to go to a resort by ourselves with very close family and have an affordable small wedding, so I wouldnt be one of those girls that 'fall in love with the wedding and not the marraige' and are so excited about planning the huge wedding that they forget they are getting married LOL)
Thanks hun! Im sure your wedding was beautiful (: I live in Raleigh NC and weddings are very pricey here.. and I would want to pay for everything (tux rentals, bridesmaids dresses, catering for every meal, etc) that lots of brides leave up to their friends/relatives so it would end up costing us alot lol! (Plus his family comes with lots of drama and divorcee's that hate eachother, I'm trying to avoid cops and/or domestic violence charges at my wedding lol ;)
Quoting ragitty:Gotcha. I just wanted to make sure you didn't think that was a cheaper (meaning financially) way out, necessarily. I had 350 guests with a big church wedding and it would have cost more to get married at a resort, but Idk what weddings cost in other areas. I would love to attend a resort wedding sometime, especially if bride and groom are paying lol. I hope you have fun with whatever you decide and good luck! I saw some weddings from afar while on my honeymoon and they were gorgeous :)
Quoting yrfavoritseason:Lol we would fly everyone our there and pay for their stay of course.. I meant 'inexpensive' as compared to a huge southern church wedding like his family wants us to do lol.. I would rather have something personal with only close relatives and not so traditional :)
Quoting ragitty:I got married at 20. You might have a hard time convincing guests that a resort wedding will be inexpensive to attend though...Good luck in whatever you decide!
Haha that's probably a good plan. My parents paid for mine, with mil paying for the traditional groom side of things. We paid for the bridesmaids dresses because it seemed crazy to force them to buy a dress they would only wear once for me, especially since everyone was still in college and broke. The guys paid for their own rentals, though, and they weren't too expensive. The reception was in the commons area at dh and I's old high school (they dress it up very nice) and we had a hot buffet to save on food. I sometimes forget that even though I am from an affluent county, the midwest costs less than other parts of the country. Everything came in just over 10K, which would have been way too much if dh and I paid for it.
Quoting yrfavoritseason:Thanks hun! Im sure your wedding was beautiful (: I live in Raleigh NC and weddings are very pricey here.. and I would want to pay for everything (tux rentals, bridesmaids dresses, catering for every meal, etc) that lots of brides leave up to their friends/relatives so it would end up costing us alot lol! (Plus his family comes with lots of drama and divorcee's that hate eachother, I'm trying to avoid cops and/or domestic violence charges at my wedding lol ;)
Quoting ragitty:Gotcha. I just wanted to make sure you didn't think that was a cheaper (meaning financially) way out, necessarily. I had 350 guests with a big church wedding and it would have cost more to get married at a resort, but Idk what weddings cost in other areas. I would love to attend a resort wedding sometime, especially if bride and groom are paying lol. I hope you have fun with whatever you decide and good luck! I saw some weddings from afar while on my honeymoon and they were gorgeous :)
Quoting yrfavoritseason:Lol we would fly everyone our there and pay for their stay of course.. I meant 'inexpensive' as compared to a huge southern church wedding like his family wants us to do lol.. I would rather have something personal with only close relatives and not so traditional :)
Quoting ragitty:I got married at 20. You might have a hard time convincing guests that a resort wedding will be inexpensive to attend though...Good luck in whatever you decide!
pregnancy police
- yrfavoritseason
on Jul. 20, 2012 at 2:12 PM