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Is the court allowed to give my dd a paternity test just cause the father ask for it???

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Ok so I have this huge dilemma and don't know what to really do. My daughters father didn't want anything to do with me after we had broke up, but before we did I was already pregnant ( clueless to fact of course)

Anyway after I had found out I try to contact him every way possible, but he had blocked me from just about everything and was in Dominican republic for awhile (5months to be exact).

In those five months he was also dating a 15 year old, mind you he is 21 so of course that didn't last long after he had came back to dc, I would tell him about appointments and if he wanted to come but he always had something come up.

After I had given birth he came to the hospital and everyone even his own mother and father said that my dd was definately his , I guess he seemed to have think so too cause he got her name tatted and DOB.

But my dd is now 4 months today and he's only bought pampers for her twice, everytime I tell him he can take her spend time with her or see her something is always coming up. So when he is free and wants to see her I'm not and he gets mad at me( I can really give a rats ass) but he would tell people I would never let him see her that I was keeping her from him when it wasn't true.

The days he actually did come see her was only for five minutes then he was off again with his friends. After awhile I wouldn't hear from him for weeks, not even caring to ask how our dd is doing so I said ok well I'm not gonna be on your back constantly reminding you to either come see your daughter or that she needs something.

So I decided I didn't want anything to do with him, if he wanted to be in her life he would try not just tell people I don't let him see her. So anyway my phone has been off for two months now, so he has no way of contacting me.

Of course when it had cutt off I would call him and contact him so he knows we're to reach me atleast, of course he never did.

So let me just get right to it I came home yesterday and I received a letter saying I have to go to court so they can do a peternity test on my daughter. Like wtf and so I called him after whats been weeks since we've talked and asked him why he had took this to court, he tells me so we can have joint custody of her and to see of she's mine.??

The look on my face could have not been more dumb founded. So I go on to tell him your gonna make me miss school to take my daughter to court so they can stick something in her mouth, all he said was see you sept.7 and hung up.

So what I wanna know does the court have the right to do a paternity test on my daughter just because her idiot father wants it. And he's not even on the birth certificate please any answers to this ???
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Jul. 27, 2012 at 7:08 PM
Replies (61-68):
Beauty91805
by on Jul. 28, 2012 at 10:18 PM
If he filed for joint custody then they need proof that she is his (can't just grant custody to anyone).
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
carmenclrk
by on Jul. 28, 2012 at 10:19 PM
Yes. It happened to me with my first.
Euphorikmomma
by on Jul. 28, 2012 at 10:37 PM

Ok, let's run down this list.  As others have said, yes he can request a test, but in the end it benefits you (you don't have to pay for the test if she is infact his, and he must pay child support...yes I know you don't want it but just put it away for your daughter then).  Have you tried contacting the court to try and get a different time to go in? I can't see them being THAT strict about time.

When time comes for custody, bring in all your phone records/texts and any other evidence you have against him to prove either : A. you have tried to contact him for visits and he just does not do it.  and B. that he is abusive or otherwise not trustworthy around the child with out supervision.

As for the tax thing, he can not claim her since he does not provide more than 50% of her expenses, if he does try and claim her I believe you can dispute it.  So maybe try and keep any records of things you buy her and medical reciepts.

Lynnster327
by on Jul. 29, 2012 at 12:21 AM
Yea but he was only abusive to me and I don't think that they would make that count towards our dd but he's kidnapped her before as in we were in a store getting things for the baby and he just left with her I called him a million times before I got threw to him and asked him to bring her back to me he took her around 12 didn't bring her back to me till 11 at night and I breast feed so the idiot gave her powdered milk an on top of that left her with someone else cause he had to go work smh but I didn't want anything to do with my bf either which is why I didn't put him on cs the less I had to deal with him the better I gave him chances to be there for our dd he never took the oppurtunity


Quoting milmil06:

If he is abusive you will def be granted supervised visitation i recommend having ppl who have seen him in action witnessed his abusive ways or lack of visits with his baby write letters explaining what they have seen and have them with u I did that and my sons "sperm donor" has supervised visits but I have full sole and legal custody and now we live out of state he could come out to visit but it would have to be supervised and he's responsible for all costs when we still lived in the same state he had supervised visitation once a week for an hour it never happened my son didn't know him and would scream for my husband his "daddy" and one time they tried to tell him the sperm donor was his dad and straight up told them no he is not my daddy is at work lol now we r in the process of adoption my husband is passed ready to do it I'm just hesitant bc I don't want the drama the guy nv cared about my son he just did it to make my life miserable he nv showed up for mediation or court and he's the one who filed all the court bulllshit . I nv filed for CS in hopes it will make his decision to sign over his rights a breeze but I believe it's just wishful thinking on my part or who knows maybe he won't reply at all just like he didn't show for court appt but then I think that's just wishful thinking too but good luck I know how stressful it is




Quoting Lynnster327:

Thanks I will definately do that cause he is very abusive and violent and his own friends have seen him in action so if he wants to have joint custody that's fine I just prefer it to be supervised






Quoting ajb2750:

Yeah, the parent w/ primary custody almost always has the right to claim the child on taxes. He likely will not have this right. Plus, he will be ordered to pay child support, so that will be counterproductive toward any money he might recieve for school. Also, you need to start documenting his visits and who he is with so you can call them in to testify that he has not spent any time w/ child since her birth. Also, if you are breastfeeding the court is less likely to allow him overnight visits,,,,so I would def tell them you are if you don't feel safe w/ him taking the baby overnight...




Quoting Lynnster327:

But he's basically like a stranger asking to see if our child is his why take me to court if you already got her name tatted on you and if he was the one that never has time for her the only reason why he wants custody is to have her social so he won't have to pay the full amount for school and for taxes his close friend already told me and recorded it so he's doing this all for the wrong reasons











Quoting colbys_mom:

I think so. He has just as much right to ask for one as you would.








Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Lynnster327
by on Jul. 29, 2012 at 12:26 AM
See that's where I messed up on my part I would delete everything having to do with him in my phone messages calls all of it but he saves everything and so if they do ask I'm not sure maybe he can show them but then again we have to do mediation before court anyway see if can handle it without the court so maybe it won't be no need for all of it and if he still wants a paternity test he can get one just on time thy were both free cause I can't afford to miss school if I do they kick me out which is way important to me cause its the only school I could find that has a daycare which is really convient for me and my dd so hopefully we can settle it in mediation and get over with the court thing and we don't talk at all now he doesn't call me and I don't call him but thank you !


Quoting Euphorikmomma:

Ok, let's run down this list.  As others have said, yes he can request a test, but in the end it benefits you (you don't have to pay for the test if she is infact his, and he must pay child support...yes I know you don't want it but just put it away for your daughter then).  Have you tried contacting the court to try and get a different time to go in? I can't see them being THAT strict about time.

When time comes for custody, bring in all your phone records/texts and any other evidence you have against him to prove either : A. you have tried to contact him for visits and he just does not do it.  and B. that he is abusive or otherwise not trustworthy around the child with out supervision.

As for the tax thing, he can not claim her since he does not provide more than 50% of her expenses, if he does try and claim her I believe you can dispute it.  So maybe try and keep any records of things you buy her and medical reciepts.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
milmil06
by on Jul. 30, 2012 at 1:06 PM
1 mom liked this
It will count especially if it was around ur daughter or while u were pregnant that's what happened to me but u def need to document everything get a note book sit down and just write dates and things of everything u recall and present and futures situations also


Quoting Lynnster327:

Yea but he was only abusive to me and I don't think that they would make that count towards our dd but he's kidnapped her before as in we were in a store getting things for the baby and he just left with her I called him a million times before I got threw to him and asked him to bring her back to me he took her around 12 didn't bring her back to me till 11 at night and I breast feed so the idiot gave her powdered milk an on top of that left her with someone else cause he had to go work smh but I didn't want anything to do with my bf either which is why I didn't put him on cs the less I had to deal with him the better I gave him chances to be there for our dd he never took the oppurtunity




Quoting milmil06:

If he is abusive you will def be granted supervised visitation i recommend having ppl who have seen him in action witnessed his abusive ways or lack of visits with his baby write letters explaining what they have seen and have them with u I did that and my sons "sperm donor" has supervised visits but I have full sole and legal custody and now we live out of state he could come out to visit but it would have to be supervised and he's responsible for all costs when we still lived in the same state he had supervised visitation once a week for an hour it never happened my son didn't know him and would scream for my husband his "daddy" and one time they tried to tell him the sperm donor was his dad and straight up told them no he is not my daddy is at work lol now we r in the process of adoption my husband is passed ready to do it I'm just hesitant bc I don't want the drama the guy nv cared about my son he just did it to make my life miserable he nv showed up for mediation or court and he's the one who filed all the court bulllshit . I nv filed for CS in hopes it will make his decision to sign over his rights a breeze but I believe it's just wishful thinking on my part or who knows maybe he won't reply at all just like he didn't show for court appt but then I think that's just wishful thinking too but good luck I know how stressful it is






Quoting Lynnster327:

Thanks I will definately do that cause he is very abusive and violent and his own friends have seen him in action so if he wants to have joint custody that's fine I just prefer it to be supervised








Quoting ajb2750:

Yeah, the parent w/ primary custody almost always has the right to claim the child on taxes. He likely will not have this right. Plus, he will be ordered to pay child support, so that will be counterproductive toward any money he might recieve for school. Also, you need to start documenting his visits and who he is with so you can call them in to testify that he has not spent any time w/ child since her birth. Also, if you are breastfeeding the court is less likely to allow him overnight visits,,,,so I would def tell them you are if you don't feel safe w/ him taking the baby overnight...





Quoting Lynnster327:

But he's basically like a stranger asking to see if our child is his why take me to court if you already got her name tatted on you and if he was the one that never has time for her the only reason why he wants custody is to have her social so he won't have to pay the full amount for school and for taxes his close friend already told me and recorded it so he's doing this all for the wrong reasons














Quoting colbys_mom:

I think so. He has just as much right to ask for one as you would.










Posted on CafeMom Mobile
teal.blaze
by on Jul. 30, 2012 at 1:11 PM

Even if it is for the wrong reasons, especially since he's not on the birth certificate, he has the right to a paternity test to establish that he IS the parent. If he WAS on the birth certificate, it would be to prove that he ISN'T the parent.

kimmaylove013
by Bronze Member on Jul. 30, 2012 at 1:12 PM
Yes, if he wants joint custody, they will also possibly be child support involved. They legally have to make sure he is the father since you aren't married. And you never had him sign away his rights to her. So yes the court can make you test her at his request.
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