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When it comes to having a second child...

Posted by on Aug. 23, 2012 at 10:45 AM
  • 18 Replies

When did you decide to have another child like what age were you and what were your reasonings? I'm just so confused because see I've been around children my whole life. I've always loved children and always wanted to be a mother. There's nothing else in my life that I've ever wanted to do. But I always wanted to have multiple children and now I don't even feel like I want to have another at all. My first daughter is only three months old but still I don't even feel like I'd want to have another when she's older. I was always told you should have your kids close together in age so they'll get along better when they're older and I get that because my sister and I are a year and a half apart in age. Even so, I have a 1 year old in my house and I don't think I could handle having another child and her. Will my feelings on that change as she gets older? Did yours?

by on Aug. 23, 2012 at 10:45 AM
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Replies (1-10):
aidyns_mommy
by Bronze Member on Aug. 23, 2012 at 10:48 AM
My son is 4 & i am dying for another. We are waiting until we are more financially stable. We just bought our first home & hopefully in a year or 2!

Everyone is different I don't know if your feelings will change, but if not that's ok.

How old are you?
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lastlanum12
by on Aug. 23, 2012 at 10:52 AM

I'm 18. I realize thats too young to have a child and too young to think about another but I don't want judged for it

LexRi0709
by on Aug. 23, 2012 at 10:54 AM
My first was a little over 2 when I started thinking about it and talking to my now dh. We had been dating for about 3 months when we talked about it. He said "we will talk about it in a year and see where we are". 2 months later he was deployed for FEMA to Louisianna because of a hurricane. He called me on day 2, to see how I was and let me know where he was. I found out a couple hours before he called me. I told him "remember how you said we would talk about having a baby in a year?" His response "yea..." "well, we are going to talk about it in 9 months". "Are you telling me what I think you are?" "Yep" I said. "I'm pregnant". Then he lost cell service for 2 days because of the storm.

There is no specific time frame. You want kids or more kids when you do. Don't force yourself to want more either. After dd1 was born I swore I never wanted to go through pregnancy/c-section again.
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aidyns_mommy
by Bronze Member on Aug. 23, 2012 at 11:38 AM
I wasn't judging you. Just you have plenty of time. I am 22 had my son at 18, so even though I want another i know I have time so we are waiting :)


Quoting lastlanum12:

I'm 18. I realize thats too young to have a child and too young to think about another but I don't want judged for it


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SMS62711
by on Aug. 23, 2012 at 12:36 PM

My sister and i are 10 years apart.. I wouldnt wait that long because my mom found that with my sister and I is that we fight a lot more than my cousins who are only 3 years or 4 years apart. My sister and I are terrible together! I love her but i loved her more as a baby!

Snowl
by on Aug. 23, 2012 at 2:04 PM

Do whatever feels right to you. My boys are 4 years apart and were planned that way. I figured it was a nice age diffence and I wouldn't have 2 in diapers at the same time - I was wrong about the diaper part but the rest has worked out well for us. My guys are now 17 and 21.  Good Luck and remember only you can know what is right for your family.

C.H.E.L.S.E.A
by Silver Member on Aug. 23, 2012 at 2:12 PM

 Right now I'm 25 and my husband and I have decided to try for a baby next summer. We decided to wait until our son was a little older (he'll be close to 4 when we start trying) because we like the idea of that age difference and wouldn't want them any closer. We also started a business 6 months ago, so we wanted our business and income to be stable and not have to stress about that. We are also planning on buying a house soon, so we wanted to do that before having a baby.

I know how you feel though, I'd always wanted children, but the first year with my son was enough to make me wander when/if I would ever want another. It wasn't until my son was a little over 2 that I started to want another. I don't think I could stand having kids too close in age. My son will be old enough to go to 4k, so there will be a good amount of one-on-one time with the new baby, my son will be independent enough to do a lot on his own, and he will be potty trained. But he will still be young enough that he can play and be close to his new sibling. I think its important to wait until you are ready, if you're only thinking about having another baby so that your kids can be close in age and play, then that's not a good reason to have them.

Beauty91805
by on Aug. 23, 2012 at 2:30 PM
Well my daughter is 7 next month and I'll be having my son in November. They will be 7 years apart. I didnt want another child until recently where things in my life has been going very well and I knew that I would want to have a child with my Df. But honestly it was such a huge shock because we weren't trying but we weren't preventing either. But 4 years of that and nothing they all of a sudden BOOM! lol I am very happy though. You will know when you are ready.
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angeline
by on Aug. 23, 2012 at 2:38 PM
I had my first when I was 16... I didn't think I'd EVER have another child, I didn't want another child, I didn't want to be that you g mom with multiple kids. But 4 years later I had been dating my DF for 4 years and I found out I was pregnant. I was really scared , and to be honest, I didn't want to continue the pregnancy. But after telling DF we talked and I felt so much support from him and his family. We made it work and I have birth to a beautiful baby boy . My son has literally changed my life for the better. I found out I could love so deeply and i realized there is nothing more I want in life than to be a mommy . My kids are 5 and 18 months now :) I want to adopt later in the future :)
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zave22
by on Aug. 23, 2012 at 4:06 PM
1 mom liked this

 i had my first baby in 2007 waited till she was about 1 and a few months we were thinking about baby number 2 we got pregnant at the end of 2008 had him in 2009.  i think having kids 2 -3 years apart is ideal just my opinion i was 21 with my first 23 with my second

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