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Huge blowup, yelled at my daughter!

Posted by on Aug. 30, 2012 at 12:12 PM
  • 5 Replies

So I hate confrontation...I get all shaky and red in the face and I can't speak if confrontation arises.  The other day my 5yr old comes in upset that another kid had said something to upset her, so i told her to watch a cartoon, calm down and in a couple days you'll be back out playing (kids always have little spats when they play, but make up pretty easily).  A minute later her mother comes up, and when I'm not all cheery like my normal self (because I was in the middle of cleaning and didn't really feel like company) she pushed and pushed telling me I wasn't my normal self.  So finally I said my dd jst came in and said her daughter had said something, but i'm sure it won't be a big deal and they'll be playing again tomorrow.  She brushed past me and hollered "You need to stop telling stories about my daughter!" to my kid.  So I said, "Woah! I only told you that so maybe we can talk about it."  So she was in my face talking about how her dd is always blamed for everything, etc., and i just said that it was what my dd told me, and that I still need to talk to her about what happened, and my dd is crying and saying "It sounded like her" and this goes on for a bit.  FInally her dd comes up the stairs, and her mother askes if she had said it, and her daughter admitted she DID say it after all!

Its not the fact that my daughter did or did not lie about what had happened ( as it turned out she didn't) its the fact that the other mother, who I go on regular playdates with, and I babysit for her, actually yelled at my daughter!  I don't know what to do, she ended up apoligizing for the fact that her daughter had said it, but she is ignoring the fact that my dd is now terrified of her becuase she got yelled at, and she didn't even do anything wrong.

Do you let other people discipline your kids?  Even when I'm with my family, they know to let me know if my dd is acting up and I will handle it.  How do you cope with other people thinking they can discipline your kid?  

We have a playdate planned for tomorrow, and I just don't want to get shaky and nervous and not say anything-I need to know how to confront this if it happens again.

by on Aug. 30, 2012 at 12:12 PM
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Replies (1-5):
alanahsmommy01
by on Aug. 30, 2012 at 12:19 PM

I would just explain to her how you felt when she yelled at your daughter and ask her how she would feel if you were to do the same to her daughter. I would tell her that if there is an issue between the little girls again that the grown ups need to talk it over together first and decide how to handle the situation. Im sure she will understand and apologize and i would also have her talk to your daughter and apologize for being mean to her so your little one wont be timid around her. 

littleinsect
by on Aug. 30, 2012 at 12:23 PM
I'm my opinion she crossed the line. I'd be really upset with her.
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Hollander
by on Aug. 30, 2012 at 12:28 PM

Thanks, I just feel so sick to my stomach thinking about confronting her about it.  If she can get so upset over the kids having a little spat, I don't know how she'll handle me bringing up that she crossed the line and that my dd is afraid of going on the playdate tomorrow :S

calleigh0709
by on Aug. 30, 2012 at 12:31 PM
No one disciplines my children except me or my SO other than my mom or brother when they watch them. I truely believe she did cross the line with yelling at your daughter. Just let her know from here on out that of something needs to be said to her then she needs to come to you so you can handle it as her parent.
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Hollander
by on Aug. 30, 2012 at 2:19 PM

Has anyone ever had this issue with their mom friends? I don't know how to make it work-as two people we're close friends, but when I watch how she hollers at her kids it always made me uncomfortable-but this is the first time she directed her anger at mine.  Mixing friendship with kids is soo difficult!

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