You know what, I lived my life with full of dreams and happiness. Because of my family I can be myself and strong enough to face all the situations that I've been going through. But when my parents passed away 2007. I didn't know what happiness means. My life gets miserable and feeling lost. I learned how to drink and have some fun. Drinking is my weakness especially when the times I felt so alone. And because of my weakness I got pregnant accidentally. The guy I thought I can be trusted was abused me when the time I got drunk and unconsious.
I know it's my fault because I let myself be like this. And I really regret that day it was happened. I didn't know what's wrong why I'm so uncontented and feeling alone even tough I have my 2 sisters yet. Maybe I really missed my parents because they complete me.
When my relatives knew about this, even tough they told me that they support it. I know deep in side they are so disappointed in me. All my friends left me and the people that surrounded me judged me easily without even know what's the real story behind my pregnancy.
I'm asking myself what's wrong if I got pregnant at the early age? what's wrong with me why those people left me? because that I'm pregnant? and mostly what's wrong if I got my baby even without his father? because of their judgement to me. I lived my life with full of disappointed. That until now I cant forgive myself of what happened in me. I lost my self confidence that for me, it's hard to find a real man who can accept my baby and my situation as a single mother.