My SIL has nothing for her son that was just born. I have a lot for my son and I'm not due until march 23. Do you think I should let her borrow what I have or give her some? Back story:
I'm 20, my DH is 23, we have an almost 3 year old son & am expecting another in March. I got rid of all my sons baby things, thinking that I was done having kids. DH works a minim wage job and I only work part time, so we do not have currently have a lot of money. But, I did manage to save about $130 that I used very wisely at garage sales, on clearance items with coupons and at thrift stores. I now have a diaper bag, two laundry baskets full of baby cloths in sizes newborn -18 months (almost done with my newborn and 0-3 months sizes) I have a set of bottles,all the receiving blankets I need, a baby bed, tons of shoes, a bouncer, all the hats I need for 6 months and Will be starting to stalk up on diapers soon. I also, have had my sons xmas money put away for quite some time.
My SIL is 29 years old. she just had her first baby. She had to be put on bed rest at around 6 months into her pregnancy due to diabetes. she never changed her diet or quit smoking. She did get disability, but no other assistance. Idk how much she made, I know she lived with her mom rent free. I don't are how small of an amount it should have gone towards her preparing for the baby. DH & I gave her $20 gift card that she got a diaper bag with. I wish I could have given her more. Weeks before baby was born she learned that her husband has been cheating on her for 6+ months and has moved a state away. He was gone for 6+ months looking for some where for them to live supposedly. she sent him money and he didn't work. He severed her with divorce papers. Her baby has been in the hospital for almost 2 weeks now due to breathing and eating issues. They think it may be due to the diabetes or it's chromosomal.
The only baby items she has or from her shower and from the nice people that she is staying with. she has no newborn things and her son is barley 6 pounds. She has a few 0-3 months, but mostly large sizes, a pack and play and a high chair. Last time I checked she had no car seat or stroller! I think she's assuming the people she's staying with will just buy her one because they've been paying her hotel bill. The hospital is 5 hours away from her home, so she's been in a hotel near the hospital for the last few weeks and will stay there until the baby is discharged in a week or more. DH thinks I should give her some of what we have and she has acted like she's assuming I will. I don't feel obligated to pity her. I will be there to baby sit for her or for her to talk to.she isn't speaking with her family and only has a few friends. I know she's going through a really rough time, but she hasn't even tried to get her baby items. AM I being selfish? I wouldn't mind letting her borrow some things if I knew she would return them in good condition. I'm scared she'll smoke around them and stain them or just not give them back. What would you do? I have told her about the church programs here that give you a bag of clothes for free. She does nurse family partnership, so she knows what resources are available to her.