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Confused, Am I making a Huge Mistake?

Posted by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 11:53 AM
  • 7 Replies

Hello,

In ten days i am going to be moving to Iowa, from Arizona, to be with a man, i never imagined i would end up with, but with every happiness comes an Obstacle.

My new boyfriends wife recently passed away. :( and within the month of her death he contacted me, i flew out to Iowa and we hit it off, my son loves him, which my sons father is in prison so he hasnt had much of a father ever, so to see a man loving, caring and playing with my son was amazing.

In moving i am taking my son not only from my Parents, but his Other Grandparents as well. My step dad is treating me like a pile of poop, and my exs parents are doing the same, as though i am not an adult and dont deserve happiness. I have never been so happy in my life and feel like this is going to be the begining to an amazing life together;

yes his wife passed away only three months ago now, but they were going through a divorce when this happened. and i have known this man since i was 15. so it is not a fl by night relationshiip.

I just feel so weird about this situation and the constant verbal beatings i am taking for making my own decision, my exs parents even asked me to leave my son with them and i could move to Iowa, when i said no my son belongs with me, they stormed away.

Im SCARED.. pleasse help

by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 11:53 AM
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Replies (1-7):
firespurity
by Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 11:55 AM

Just make sure you aren't running. If you are running, it will make this relationship fail. And if the child's father is in the picture at all make sure you aren't violating any custody agreements by moving out of state.

Kbug3
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 12:00 PM
1 mom liked this
I live across the country from parents and grandparents. They can visit. Do what makes YOU and son happy.
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brittbrat661
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 12:00 PM

I am not runnin i am making a choice to better my life. i have not had a good life in AZ and now i feel like it is time to make a change. His father has no custodial rights to our child the state took his rights, because he owes 5 yrs back chld support, he is an unfit father and has never helped with anything i am safe there.  everyone keeps saying fear is natural. but is that true?

brittbrat661
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 12:04 PM

that is what i told them but they still flipped saying that i was making a huge mistake and i shouldnt take their grandson from them.,

my mom on the other hand is all for it but she has no problem with traveling and she wants me to be happy. plus if i am gone and taken good care of she can finally focus on what makes her happy and only have to worry about her self

Nicki1995
by Silver Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 12:12 PM
I think if you are happy and he is good to you and your son, you should go for it. But i also think that when a spouse passes away, you should stay single for a year out of respect for your spouse.
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blondie.mom
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 12:32 PM
This is a tough situation. On the one hand, you deserve to be happy! On the other, he just went through a really hard time. Whether or not he was gettin a divorce, his wife just died. That has got to be an emotional roller coaster. For the sake of my son I would wait at the very least 6 months, maybe even a year.
When I met my Dh I had just gotten out of a 5 year relationship with ds1 dad. I met Dh and we hit it off, we immediately knew we wanted to be together. But for the sake of my son, I didn't rush things. We waited a year and a half before getting married and me leaving all my family and friends to move with him (he's military, and was in a different state at the time).
If you guy are really meant to be, a few more months wont matter since you'll have your whole life left with them. If you aren't meant to be, then you won't have wasted your time and emotions.
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brittbrat661
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 12:29 AM

I just what i am leaving out is also important, this is not a new relationship we have known eachothr 12 years, and his wife was cheating on him for the last ten months, and commited suicide. i know i should wait but on the other hand, if it is meant to be it will work out no matter what, and if its not atleast we gave it a chance

my main thought right now is the other grandpArents, i went for family photos thisevening and they kicked me out of the photos.. i love them but nothing i have done is az has worked, not jobs schools or anything. and i have been fighting anxiety and depression AS WELL. when i left here and was in iowa, i had no depression or anxiety it felt like home. isnt that a good thing?

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