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Advice Please? I Dont Know What To Do.

Posted by on Nov. 22, 2012 at 2:16 PM
  • 18 Replies
This is going to be a bit if a long story. Last July, I took my kids, moved to a different state and left my fiancé (my kid's dad) we left because he had spent all our money on gambling and we were getting kicked out of our place. I was pregnant at the time with our 3rd and didn't know what else to do, but move in with my mom. Well we started talking again in September to try and work things out, but then out of the blue, he decided he wanted to not work things out. I was confused then yesterday, I saw a screen shot of him having a dirty talk with his ex girlfriend. She posted it on her blog! She had been nice to me for the last few months than she does this and says that it wasn't meant to hurt me. She knew I was hurting over this whole thing but still didn't seem to care by posting that conversation. I'm more mad that I was led on for awhile by this loser that I call my kids dad. He claims to care about me, but I have my doubts. I don't want him back...ever. I believe that I deserve better, but I guess I want to know how to get over this man. I've never been able to get over him in the past, but would love to get over him. How do I stop myself from feeling jealous and hurt? Any advice would be wonderful!
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by on Nov. 22, 2012 at 2:16 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mommaGof3
by on Nov. 22, 2012 at 2:49 PM
1 mom liked this
You are going to need to time to heal, sweetie. You just had your heart stomped on. Focus on being you, cut ties with those people, you deserve better than them! If you have to have contact with him about the kids make sure that is all the contact that he gets nothing more. You have to really let go of the past and know that he doesn't need to be in your life romantically, if he is there at all its because of the kids and you stand your ground and dont let him sweet talk you.
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leshull
by on Nov. 22, 2012 at 3:53 PM
Thank you :) the hard part is getting over the fantasy of being a family again. I think time will help me move on. I hate being upset about things like this and letting it ruin my day. Sorry for all the typos in my post, I was a bit upset when I wrote it.


Quoting mommaGof3:

You are going to need to time to heal, sweetie. You just had your heart stomped on. Focus on being you, cut ties with those people, you deserve better than them! If you have to have contact with him about the kids make sure that is all the contact that he gets nothing more. You have to really let go of the past and know that he doesn't need to be in your life romantically, if he is there at all its because of the kids and you stand your ground and dont let him sweet talk you.

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mommaGof3
by on Nov. 22, 2012 at 3:57 PM
I totally understand, sweetie. I had the same issue with my ex for a while. It does take time and it also takes setting boundaries for yourself and for him as well. Sticking to them is key. I have been there and done it and its hard but its worth it :-)

You're very welcome, btw (((hugs)))


Quoting leshull:

Thank you :) the hard part is getting over the fantasy of being a family again. I think time will help me move on. I hate being upset about things like this and letting it ruin my day. Sorry for all the typos in my post, I was a bit upset when I wrote it.




Quoting mommaGof3:

You are going to need to time to heal, sweetie. You just had your heart stomped on. Focus on being you, cut ties with those people, you deserve better than them! If you have to have contact with him about the kids make sure that is all the contact that he gets nothing more. You have to really let go of the past and know that he doesn't need to be in your life romantically, if he is there at all its because of the kids and you stand your ground and dont let him sweet talk you.


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Nicki1995
by on Nov. 22, 2012 at 4:02 PM
Its going to be really hard. You need to concentrate on you and the kids and just cut him out of your life. You also need to realize that this is not your fault. You will get over him, but it will take a little while. Good luck girl =)
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amonkeymom
by Gold Member on Nov. 22, 2012 at 4:37 PM

Wow, it definitely sounds like you're better off without him.  (((hug))) 

leshull
by on Nov. 22, 2012 at 5:27 PM
I'm definitely going to stick to my boundaries this time. I think this was a good lesson for me.
I won't be making this mistake again.


Quoting mommaGof3:

I totally understand, sweetie. I had the same issue with my ex for a while. It does take time and it also takes setting boundaries for yourself and for him as well. Sticking to them is key. I have been there and done it and its hard but its worth it :-)



You're very welcome, btw (((hugs)))




Quoting leshull:

Thank you :) the hard part is getting over the fantasy of being a family again. I think time will help me move on. I hate being upset about things like this and letting it ruin my day. Sorry for all the typos in my post, I was a bit upset when I wrote it.






Quoting mommaGof3:

You are going to need to time to heal, sweetie. You just had your heart stomped on. Focus on being you, cut ties with those people, you deserve better than them! If you have to have contact with him about the kids make sure that is all the contact that he gets nothing more. You have to really let go of the past and know that he doesn't need to be in your life romantically, if he is there at all its because of the kids and you stand your ground and dont let him sweet talk you.



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leshull
by on Nov. 22, 2012 at 5:32 PM
Thanks :) I think I am better off without him. I wish I didn't have to learn this the hard way. Lol I wish I would have realized this 6 years ago when he first cheated on me. It was the first of many crummy things that he has done to me. Oh we'll, in just going to use this as a learning experience.


Quoting amonkeymom:

Wow, it definitely sounds like you're better off without him.  (((hug))) 


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leshull
by on Nov. 22, 2012 at 5:34 PM
1 mom liked this
Thank you :) my kids always come first and since they love their dad so much, I'm going to try and stay friendly with him, but definetly keep our boundaries.


Quoting Nicki1995:

Its going to be really hard. You need to concentrate on you and the kids and just cut him out of your life. You also need to realize that this is not your fault. You will get over him, but it will take a little while. Good luck girl =)

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BeyondBeautyXD
by on Nov. 23, 2012 at 1:42 AM
That's so upsetting but you will get over it
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leshull
by on Nov. 23, 2012 at 1:46 AM
Thanks :) I'm pretty much over it now. I'm actually greatful for this whole ordeal because I reminded me why I left my ex in the first place and reminded me that I want a better man.


Quoting BeyondBeautyXD:

That's so upsetting but you will get over it

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