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Baby's Last Name Conflict

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So basically my boyfriend and I have been constantly having this argument about the baby's last name. My own mother said it would be smarter to just give him my last name (due to tax reason or something, she didn't really explain in detail) but I want to hear some advice from some mommys. Give my son my last name or my boyfriends? Why or why not?
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by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 9:59 PM
Replies (21-30):
Ashleeduhh
by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 1:10 PM
No! You'd win custody unless you were deemed unfit like a drug addict or you were abusive.

Quoting Nat_Th3_Cat:

So say he was to up and leave me after the baby was here and the baby had his last name, is it possible he could get full custody of my baby or have me completely cut out of the picture?

Quoting DueAug2013:

Im going to tell you from experience...my daughters father and I were not in a good relationship the closer it came to her coming...... I decided to let her have his last night and him be on the birth certificate..... huge mistake on my part....really consider it. Because with him being on the birth certificate if something happens with ya'll he can up and leave with the baby just as much as you can( until u goto court). Not giving the baby his last name or even putting him on the birth certificate doesnt mean that you dont believe that he is the father... but you are protecting your child. I know many people will disagree with me, but for the moms that have also been in my shoes, done custody, done the courts ..... its a long battle.


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Nat_Th3_Cat
by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 1:11 PM

So he wouldn't be able to just take my child from me due to my baby having his last name? Because his mom is a total psycho and probably would make him try everything in his power to take my child from me if I broke up with him or something. 

Quoting Ashleeduhh:

No! You'd win custody unless you were deemed unfit like a drug addict or you were abusive.

Quoting Nat_Th3_Cat:

So say he was to up and leave me after the baby was here and the baby had his last name, is it possible he could get full custody of my baby or have me completely cut out of the picture?

Quoting DueAug2013:

Im going to tell you from experience...my daughters father and I were not in a good relationship the closer it came to her coming...... I decided to let her have his last night and him be on the birth certificate..... huge mistake on my part....really consider it. Because with him being on the birth certificate if something happens with ya'll he can up and leave with the baby just as much as you can( until u goto court). Not giving the baby his last name or even putting him on the birth certificate doesnt mean that you dont believe that he is the father... but you are protecting your child. I know many people will disagree with me, but for the moms that have also been in my shoes, done custody, done the courts ..... its a long battle.



Ms.Pteranodon
by Member on Dec. 5, 2012 at 1:12 PM
1 mom liked this
He would have to prove you an unfit mother to completely cut you out.

But it does make it easier for him to get 50/50 custody if you give the child his last name.

My friend is going through something similar. Her and her BF are on again and off again. She told him that their son will have his last name the moment she does.

It just seems easier for her that way. I agree


Quoting Nat_Th3_Cat:

So say he was to up and leave me after the baby was here and the baby had his last name, is it possible he could get full custody of my baby or have me completely cut out of the picture?

Quoting DueAug2013:

Im going to tell you from experience...my daughters father and I were not in a good relationship the closer it came to her coming...... I decided to let her have his last night and him be on the birth certificate..... huge mistake on my part....really consider it. Because with him being on the birth certificate if something happens with ya'll he can up and leave with the baby just as much as you can( until u goto court). Not giving the baby his last name or even putting him on the birth certificate doesnt mean that you dont believe that he is the father... but you are protecting your child. I know many people will disagree with me, but for the moms that have also been in my shoes, done custody, done the courts ..... its a long battle.



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Kayere
by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 1:14 PM

My first son has his father's last name. His father wanted it that way so I allowed it. I still claim him on my taxes and everything. The only confusion is you have to explain to everyone (offically, like for school, daycare) that he is your son and he has a different last name than you. They tend to automatically put down your name.

My second son's father is not in the picture. He has my last name. I'd honestly go with whatever the father wants. It doesnt REALLY effect anything but it makes them feel better *shrugs*

young-mommy10
by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 1:14 PM
I gave my son his fathers last name, and he is on the birth certificate. We are still together and plan to marry in the next year or two. We are pregnant with our second who will also have his last name. It was what was right for us. as far as taxes go, either my df or I could claim our son, however when we file, we each file single, though he gets head of household and he claims our son ONLY because he makes more than I do so he gets a better credit. If we made equal amounts then either of us would claim our son. It makes no difference the babies last name as the baby is your child regardless.
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DueAug2013
by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 1:15 PM

No he wouldnt get custody...I have SOLE custody of my daughter and he is allow to see her every other weekend. But two years in and out of court, its a lot of stress.

But on the note of "deem unfit" that is not true either. The judge told me we were both deemed fit parents. But factors play in... I was married when we went to court, he was not. I had my own place, he did not. I worked 40 hours a week. He worked out of town and on weekends.

So you never know what a judge will rule.

As well, with Peyton being four she now questions why her last name isn't the same as mine.

Quoting Ashleeduhh:

No! You'd win custody unless you were deemed unfit like a drug addict or you were abusive.

Quoting Nat_Th3_Cat:

So say he was to up and leave me after the baby was here and the baby had his last name, is it possible he could get full custody of my baby or have me completely cut out of the picture?

Quoting DueAug2013:

Im going to tell you from experience...my daughters father and I were not in a good relationship the closer it came to her coming...... I decided to let her have his last night and him be on the birth certificate..... huge mistake on my part....really consider it. Because with him being on the birth certificate if something happens with ya'll he can up and leave with the baby just as much as you can( until u goto court). Not giving the baby his last name or even putting him on the birth certificate doesnt mean that you dont believe that he is the father... but you are protecting your child. I know many people will disagree with me, but for the moms that have also been in my shoes, done custody, done the courts ..... its a long battle.



Ashleeduhh
by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 1:15 PM
His last name won't change anything. You will have the right to him just as much as he does. If you break up, you go to court to decide on custody( who has the child and when Ie him having the child every other weekend.) But you will get most of the custody if you break up unless you're deemed unfit..so don't let anyone try to scare you into anything. Most guys wouldn't want full custody anyway. You'll be lucky if he's even very helpful and involved. But don't be assuming you'll break up already lol

Quoting Nat_Th3_Cat:

So he wouldn't be able to just take my child from me due to my baby having his last name? Because his mom is a total psycho and probably would make him try everything in his power to take my child from me if I broke up with him or something. 

Quoting Ashleeduhh:

No! You'd win custody unless you were deemed unfit like a drug addict or you were abusive.



Quoting Nat_Th3_Cat:

So say he was to up and leave me after the baby was here and the baby had his last name, is it possible he could get full custody of my baby or have me completely cut out of the picture?

Quoting DueAug2013:

Im going to tell you from experience...my daughters father and I were not in a good relationship the closer it came to her coming...... I decided to let her have his last night and him be on the birth certificate..... huge mistake on my part....really consider it. Because with him being on the birth certificate if something happens with ya'll he can up and leave with the baby just as much as you can( until u goto court). Not giving the baby his last name or even putting him on the birth certificate doesnt mean that you dont believe that he is the father... but you are protecting your child. I know many people will disagree with me, but for the moms that have also been in my shoes, done custody, done the courts ..... its a long battle.



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alliesaurus
by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 1:20 PM
1 mom liked this

its really up to you and your situation. If the father is there and supportive and plans on being a part of the babys' life I would probably give the baby his last name. The fact that your mom wants the baby to have your last name sounds like she has little faith in the father of the baby though. Either way- you can assume that whether it is the same man or not your last name may change and could possibly be different from your son's last name anyways. Taxes- have nothing to do with it, custody agreements will affect taxes and ability to accept certain assisstance funds if your situation goes there. If the dad is there with you during the delivery and to sign the birth certificate, I would give the baby his last name. You can only do what you feel is best. 

hyphenating is a good option if is important to YOU that baby shares part of your current last name. 

AnjieDee
by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 2:38 PM

If it's his child the baby should have his last name.

AubreeG16
by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 2:40 PM
My twins, HAD mine. But there daddy and I started dating again, so we changed it. :)
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