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The story of my Angel baby in Heaven .

Posted by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 12:58 AM
  • 18 Replies
2 moms liked this

  It all started when my best friend introduced me to some guy her boyfriend worked with . His name was Derrick I met him and soon after we fell in love. About 7 months into our relationship we decided we wanted a baby we tried and tried for 3 months (felt like years) i had always been woried i couldnt have kids but i was gladly wrong September 16, 2012 we found out the very happy news I was pregnant with our first baby ! We both cried with tears of joy and couldnt wait to tell our family & friends . Everything was going great i found the man i loved and i was going to have a sweet beautiful baby in May 2013 . Derrick works as a coal miner and doesnt get off till 11:30 around 8;00 i had the urge to pee ... after finishing i wiped as usual looking down and seeing a brownish goop . Derricks mom is a nurse in obgyn i called her and she said it was sometimes normal . Me being a first time mother was worried to death so i called my mother and grandmother & we flew to the er . Thet ran test on my blood and pee & I never heard from that . Then a man comes in telling me he is going to give me an ultra sound . I was 14 weeks i got al happy knowing i would see my growing baby . He starts the ultra sound and I asked if i could see the baby and he said yes just let me take some pictures first i agree . I look over at what i can see and i see a line and its just a straight line in my mind i was thinking the worst it has no heart beat but then i think your no dr you dont know what your talking about . He then finishes after a few mins and doesnt let me look when i ask why he says he forgot . I was fine with that & went back to my room . After about 30 mins the dr comes in takes a seat and looks me in the eyes and i hear the most dreded  words ever ... He says I unfortantly have some bad news and before he could say anymore I lost it he then tells me my baby is dead . I cry and cry till im sick . They let me go home I make it to the parking lot where my mom and friend are waiting the friend told my mom the news thinking she already knew ... i ran and hugged her and cried! She then takes me home derrick is off work i walk in and find him standing in our kitchen i look at him & say we lost the baby then hit the floor he runs up and grabs me & we cry together . The next day i go to the dr and share i bad news with them . The next morning November 27th the day before thanksgiving i go to the hospital at 6am he puts 8 pills in me to make me go into labor after hours and hours of pain and heart break i get the urge to pee really bad Derrick helps me get up. I had a towl between my legs to hold the bleeding as soon as i stand up i feel stuff coming out my water broke in the bed i thought it was just blood or something i go to the bathroom and remove the towl... its a mess of blood everywhere i freak out and start crying then i look down and see my baby it had arms legs and a face i scream for him and he comes running and i tell him he screams for a dr and they come to help me and get my baby. I go back to the bed and cry a few hours later they come to check me and i still hadnt passed the after birth . he tells me that if i dont pass it that night he is gonna use more pills he putts more pills in my bottom this time i wait and wait till i fall asleep . I wake up and nothing .Its now Thanksgiving day a woman dr i had only seen once before comes in and tells me she would like to do a d & c on me ... i agree . They prep mefor the surgery and roll me away on my bed leaving Derrick and his mom behind . The last thing i remember is them telling me im going to forget everything .. I wake up back in my room with Derrick . The surgery went well & all but it was still sad . After they took me off my oxygen and i was back from my deep sleep they let me go home where i spent the next days in bed ... it was about 3 days later i told Derrick i was ready to lay our child to rest we picked a quiet beautiful place beside our house beside a river . I took my baby out of the box and hold it in my arms and cry as does its daddy . Its been a few weeks since those days but the pain is still hear im having a hard time with it . I got a tattoo of a pink and blue ribbon on my wrist its the ribbon for still born and misscarried babies . Im very proud of it . At first i got it for my baby but then thought about it and now i know im not the only one im glad i got it i will wear it for the rest of my life for every baby that is now an angel . Thank you for reading my story ! it helps to get it out for once ... if you would like you can look me up on facebook .http://www.facebook.com/alyssa.snodgrass

by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 12:58 AM
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Replies (1-10):
littleinsect
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 1:09 AM
1 mom liked this
I am so sorry for your loss. Your baby will forever look down upon you and it's daddy as a guardian angel.
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AngelMother1127
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 1:14 AM

Thank so much ! I know this is true :) by the way the baby with you in your picyure is beautiful !

Lovely2Mommy
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 3:17 AM
1 mom liked this
Thats so sad. I can only imagine...Im so sorry. But yes, you will always have a guardian angel
:-)
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AngelMother1127
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 3:37 AM

Thank you .

devastatedhurt
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 3:44 AM
I lost a baby to. In October. I know there are no words. all i can say is deal with this now, don't ignore it. I wish i could hug and cry with you in person. But I'll do it from here.
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greenhazel96
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 4:32 AM
Im so sorry. Thats one of the hardest things in the world to through how you did. Ill keep you jn my prayers.
AngelMother1127
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 4:46 AM

Thank you both . Im very sorry about your baby ! i know it is hard & inow it always will be . There is nothing that can take that pain away . Im gonna spend the rest of my life making sure ours was not forgoten .

Maks1mommy
by Bronze Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 4:54 AM
Awe, I'm sorry!
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Nicki1995
by Silver Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 6:31 AM
I am sorry for your loss. I also had a miscarriage, but of twins. You WILL heal, but it will take time. Some people hang on to it for YEARS (5+) because they dont try to accept that they had a miscarriage and it wasnt their fault. My miscarriage was 12/19/10 and 12/21/10. I was able to accept it and forgive myself 7 months after it and got pregnant with my daughter that is now 8 months. You are not alone, and you WILL get through this, but it will be very emotional and hard. Good luck girl!
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cutestmom24
by Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 7:25 AM
1 mom liked this
sorry. for your loss mama :(
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