Not sure if anyone really knows what I've been faced lately, and I would like to vent them out..
Before I was pregnant, I was involved in the drug scene. I was really into it and lost everything I owned because people that I was living with, picked up and left with my things. I was at an different place, living place to place after they left my boyfriend and I. The drugs were getting to us and we fought a lot over it. He ended up going away and I went back home to my parents and cleaned myself up, which I then found out I was pregnant with our daughter, Isabella. I was really hard to stop that lifestyle I was living, but I did it. I stopped everything and I haven't touched anything since then. It was an very hard thing to do, if anyone could understand the stuggles of getting off drugs cold turkey.
But, after I gave birth to my beautiful daughter, (Natural with no pain medication), her father left me for someone else. I was in the hopsital crying my eyes out and I thought that it was the worst day of my life, but the best, because my little girl was finally here. I lost my apartment because of him, so I had to move back in with my mom and dad. The next couple weeks were so hard, and I cried all the time. He would call to see how she was doing and I would beg him to come home. After another month, he told me that he wanted to see me again. Bella met her father, but it was very awkward for me.
Within the last couple weeks, I have been having some serious thoughts. What am i going to do now? Being an single mother is the hardest thing in the world. No help from anyone but some family, i am alone. Then I decided that I need to step up and make an better life for Bella and I. I am going to an job interview on friday for an full time position as an CNA. After another couple months, I will have an job, my own place to live, and my own car running again. I am very proud of what I doing with my life right now. Bella's dad said he'd want to come back into my life when I got out of my parents house. And it sorta makes me laugh now, because I look at what he has in his life (gross apartment, nasty girlfriend, people who use him), and then I look at what I have, and I am doing soooo great.
I am super proud of myself and I am accomplishing a lot.. Just wanted to vent that :)