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Young Moms Young Moms

Need Some Advice.

Posted by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:58 AM
  • 20 Replies
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I don't know if what i am going to do is the right thing to do. I am so lost & confused. My & My Daughters father were on and off for almost three years & recently nothing has been going civil cause he just doesn't seem to really bother with my daughter, doesnt call or text, write, or even come to see his daughter. Next week i am going to file for full custody & him to have supervised visits cause i dont trust him & my daughter is scared of him. This past saturday, i told him he could come up to pick her up for the night and take her to church to see her family. Well he decided to come up here after drinking( he was still tipsy or drunk) he planned on taking my daughter for the night after he just got done drinking. Wouldn't that be enough for you? He's in sober living, his gf is alcoholic. Sorry but my daughter doesn't deserve that kind of life.

Is this something you moms would do after a incident like that? i even told him stay the night up here with her & see how she is in the am & he refused.

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:58 AM
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Replies (1-10):
RavenCooper
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:34 PM

Yea that would be enough for me. I would get full custody and make him have supervised visits.

4Seasons-89
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:57 PM
I say props to you for offering he stay the night. You definitely were in the right for not letting him take her. I know were you are at. My sons dad spent 3 yrs raising my daughter but has seen us maybe 7 times since I've had my son. He saw me about 12 times while I was pregnant. The pregnant visits were my effort to keep him involved. The 7 times in 6 months is his family pushing him to be involved. Also since I've had my son I force him to find a ride here because him and his family do drugs, smoke and are extreme alcoholics. I know I can control what happens here where as there I can't. I've never let him or his family take my son for any period of time. I don't trust them and my daughter is now terrified of him which is so heartbreaking but he finds it funny which also makes me question him. I say if your daughter is afraid there is good cause and as a mother you should never question your instincts about someone even if its the dad. As long as you're doing it for your kid you are doing the right thing and if he shapes up you could always going to court again to change it.
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Samantha.Stetka
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:51 PM
1 mom liked this

I would deffinetly get full custody! If he doesn't act like a father, then he doesn't deserve to be called one. I'm glad that you didn't let him take her. Sending prayers!

Nicki1995
by Silver Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:54 PM

Yeah, i think you are doing the right thing!

Kristina_
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 2:17 PM
thank you! he wasnt even around when I was pregnant he was in prison off smoking dope. & the only he spent almost every weekend up here is when I was talking about getting back with him. thank youu tons<3

Quoting 4Seasons-89:

I say props to you for offering he stay the night. You definitely were in the right for not letting him take her. I know were you are at. My sons dad spent 3 yrs raising my daughter but has seen us maybe 7 times since I've had my son. He saw me about 12 times while I was pregnant. The pregnant visits were my effort to keep him involved. The 7 times in 6 months is his family pushing him to be involved. Also since I've had my son I force him to find a ride here because him and his family do drugs, smoke and are extreme alcoholics. I know I can control what happens here where as there I can't. I've never let him or his family take my son for any period of time. I don't trust them and my daughter is now terrified of him which is so heartbreaking but he finds it funny which also makes me question him. I say if your daughter is afraid there is good cause and as a mother you should never question your instincts about someone even if its the dad. As long as you're doing it for your kid you are doing the right thing and if he shapes up you could always going to court again to change it.
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4Seasons-89
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 2:33 PM
My sons dad wasn't much during my pregnancy with him. He up and moved out of town while I was out of state for two weeks visiting family. He didn't talk to me for 2 months so I had no idea where he had gone. After that I would save up money for gas and drive the hour there to tell him what was going on but he'd run off to have fun 5 min after I got there so I would end up hanging out with some drunk or high person and tell them so they could tell him later. His dad and his family would harass me so bad threw text and calls while I was pregnant to that I would get chills and shake uncontrollablely. I had a lot of complications do to the stress. His dad only shows up now when his family gives him grief and he catches wind of me dating someone or possible plans to move. Some guys are just stupid. Don't let him control your life and do what you can to make your daughter safe. I really hope things turn for the better for you and her!
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Kristina_
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 2:39 PM
oh wowI'm sorry to hear that you wthrough all that. his side of the family always helped me out I was more then thankful for them.I would of told them all to eff off & make sure none of them see your child. I would of taken full custody & left the state haha

Quoting 4Seasons-89:

My sons dad wasn't much during my pregnancy with him. He up and moved out of town while I was out of state for two weeks visiting family. He didn't talk to me for 2 months so I had no idea where he had gone. After that I would save up money for gas and drive the hour there to tell him what was going on but he'd run off to have fun 5 min after I got there so I would end up hanging out with some drunk or high person and tell them so they could tell him later. His dad and his family would harass me so bad threw text and calls while I was pregnant to that I would get chills and shake uncontrollablely. I had a lot of complications do to the stress. His dad only shows up now when his family gives him grief and he catches wind of me dating someone or possible plans to move. Some guys are just stupid. Don't let him control your life and do what you can to make your daughter safe. I really hope things turn for the better for you and her!
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New2011Mom1991
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 2:46 PM

I would file for full custody, and only supervised visits, unless he can act like a parent. Don't try to be the nice person in this situation. My mother was like this, and it got her to where my father refused to give her child support, and everything.

PEEK05
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 2:47 PM

Wow that is awful.

4Seasons-89
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 2:49 PM
Oh believe me I've tried to tell them all to leave me alone. I've been considering a number change since his dads last visit. I threw him out after I found a flask of booze in his bag and he had left a pocket knife on my couch. He also went and smoked during his "lunch break" which I don't allow since my son is asthmatic. He had planned to stay for 6 hours but after 5 with all that and maybe having 5 things said to me I couldn't take it anymore. I told him he's not allowed in my house anymore. Especially since my daughter wouldn't come out of her room while he was there. She's special needs and doesn't understand what's going on at all. Im thinking about moving when her school year is over. If I do I don't think I'm going to tell his dad. That's good the dads family are so helpful and supportive of you. I don't advice you tell them your plan just in case they try to worn him but they will likely be on your side if they know how he is and you still let them be apart of her life.
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