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I don't know if what i am going to do is the right thing to do. I am so lost & confused. My & My Daughters father were on and off for almost three years & recently nothing has been going civil cause he just doesn't seem to really bother with my daughter, doesnt call or text, write, or even come to see his daughter. Next week i am going to file for full custody & him to have supervised visits cause i dont trust him & my daughter is scared of him. This past saturday, i told him he could come up to pick her up for the night and take her to church to see her family. Well he decided to come up here after drinking( he was still tipsy or drunk) he planned on taking my daughter for the night after he just got done drinking. Wouldn't that be enough for you? He's in sober living, his gf is alcoholic. Sorry but my daughter doesn't deserve that kind of life.

Is this something you moms would do after a incident like that? i even told him stay the night up here with her & see how she is in the am & he refused.

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:58 AM
Replies (11-20):
Kristina_
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:10 PM
I would do that I changed my number & deleted my facebook & blocked him. he started a bigger thing cause I won't let him claim my daughter. oh yeah I would of did the same thing as you, that is so wrong! he can't go hours without a smoke or drinking? thats just sad!!

Quoting 4Seasons-89:

Oh believe me I've tried to tell them all to leave me alone. I've been considering a number change since his dads last visit. I threw him out after I found a flask of booze in his bag and he had left a pocket knife on my couch. He also went and smoked during his "lunch break" which I don't allow since my son is asthmatic. He had planned to stay for 6 hours but after 5 with all that and maybe having 5 things said to me I couldn't take it anymore. I told him he's not allowed in my house anymore. Especially since my daughter wouldn't come out of her room while he was there. She's special needs and doesn't understand what's going on at all. Im thinking about moving when her school year is over. If I do I don't think I'm going to tell his dad. That's good the dads family are so helpful and supportive of you. I don't advice you tell them your plan just in case they try to worn him but they will likely be on your side if they know how he is and you still let them be apart of her life.
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Kristina_
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:11 PM
I am def filing for all that cause he deserves no right to her. I've always been the nice one. I'm just over it

Quoting New2011Mom1991:

I would file for full custody, and only supervised visits, unless he can act like a parent. Don't try to be the nice person in this situation. My mother was like this, and it got her to where my father refused to give her child support, and everything.

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4Seasons-89
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:49 PM
It is! If he wasn't so busy being a jerk to me and my kids I might feel sorry for him having so many addiction issues. But he's choosing all of this himself. I have offered him a place in my home to clean up and straighten his life out before but he declined so I can't feel bad for him. All I think about is me and the kids now. I had deleted him of my facebook and blocked him... He pulled the whole I needed to add him so we could talk. Really he just used it to spy on me so I made a fake one to add him to when my son was 2 months old lol. I didn't add any photos or say a word on it for a week and them I wrote him a huge note calling him out after he posted saying he was watching the football game with his son when he was doing nothing of the sort. He's about a year younger than me but he acts like a child now and he loves to call me an old grandma just because we're 8 months apart in age to. It's annoying. It's sad how people try and use facebook as an excuse to keep in touch. Don't let him claim her either. He has no right to especially if he isn't paying child support or helping in any way! Does your daughters father live close? I think if you file he could either try and show up more to make himself look better or he could just continue to be the way he is now. Make sure everything is on your terms though. It's your house and he has no rights there and since you are your daughters primary caregiver you don't technically have to let him have her unless you already have a court agreement. By law I don't have to give my son to his dad since we haven't had a court hearing. Part of the reason I fear taking him to court is because I feel like they won't take my side on the matter and will give him partial custody which I really don't want.



Quoting Kristina_:

I would do that I changed my number & deleted my facebook & blocked him. he started a bigger thing cause I won't let him claim my daughter. oh yeah I would of did the same thing as you, that is so wrong! he can't go hours without a smoke or drinking? thats just sad!!



Quoting 4Seasons-89:

Oh believe me I've tried to tell them all to leave me alone. I've been considering a number change since his dads last visit. I threw him out after I found a flask of booze in his bag and he had left a pocket knife on my couch. He also went and smoked during his "lunch break" which I don't allow since my son is asthmatic. He had planned to stay for 6 hours but after 5 with all that and maybe having 5 things said to me I couldn't take it anymore. I told him he's not allowed in my house anymore. Especially since my daughter wouldn't come out of her room while he was there. She's special needs and doesn't understand what's going on at all. Im thinking about moving when her school year is over. If I do I don't think I'm going to tell his dad. That's good the dads family are so helpful and supportive of you. I don't advice you tell them your plan just in case they try to worn him but they will likely be on your side if they know how he is and you still let them be apart of her life.


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Kristina_
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:15 PM
yea ur obviously don't care about being clean for the kids. and thats so sad when someone has to lie to make them selves seem like better parents I'm not going to let him cause he really dont deserve it! my uncle is actually claiming her cause he helps me with her so much whenever I need anything he is always there for us, she dorsnt go without cause of him. he lives about 45 miles away from me. sad thing is his gf lives 20 miles from me and he has no problem seeing her but not my daughter.everything will def be on my terms im over being the nice person and letting him walk all over me. this was def the last straw for me

Quoting 4Seasons-89:

It is! If he wasn't so busy being a jerk to me and my kids I might feel sorry for him having so many addiction issues. But he's choosing all of this himself. I have offered him a place in my home to clean up and straighten his life out before but he declined so I can't feel bad for him. All I think about is me and the kids now. I had deleted him of my facebook and blocked him... He pulled the whole I needed to add him so we could talk. Really he just used it to spy on me so I made a fake one to add him to when my son was 2 months old lol. I didn't add any photos or say a word on it for a week and them I wrote him a huge note calling him out after he posted saying he was watching the football game with his son when he was doing nothing of the sort. He's about a year younger than me but he acts like a child now and he loves to call me an old grandma just because we're 8 months apart in age to. It's annoying. It's sad how people try and use facebook as an excuse to keep in touch. Don't let him claim her either. He has no right to especially if he isn't paying child support or helping in any way! Does your daughters father live close? I think if you file he could either try and show up more to make himself look better or he could just continue to be the way he is now. Make sure everything is on your terms though. It's your house and he has no rights there and since you are your daughters primary caregiver you don't technically have to let him have her unless you already have a court agreement. By law I don't have to give my son to his dad since we haven't had a court hearing. Part of the reason I fear taking him to court is because I feel like they won't take my side on the matter and will give him partial custody which I really don't want.






Quoting Kristina_:

I would do that I changed my number & deleted my facebook & blocked him. he started a bigger thing cause I won't let him claim my daughter. oh yeah I would of did the same thing as you, that is so wrong! he can't go hours without a smoke or drinking? thats just sad!!





Quoting 4Seasons-89:

Oh believe me I've tried to tell them all to leave me alone. I've been considering a number change since his dads last visit. I threw him out after I found a flask of booze in his bag and he had left a pocket knife on my couch. He also went and smoked during his "lunch break" which I don't allow since my son is asthmatic. He had planned to stay for 6 hours but after 5 with all that and maybe having 5 things said to me I couldn't take it anymore. I told him he's not allowed in my house anymore. Especially since my daughter wouldn't come out of her room while he was there. She's special needs and doesn't understand what's going on at all. Im thinking about moving when her school year is over. If I do I don't think I'm going to tell his dad. That's good the dads family are so helpful and supportive of you. I don't advice you tell them your plan just in case they try to worn him but they will likely be on your side if they know how he is and you still let them be apart of her life.



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Proud-mommy-of2
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 5:41 PM
I would get full custody hands down.
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4Seasons-89
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 6:34 PM
Wow! That's super sad he won't go the extra little bit to see her. My sons dads moved two towns away. It takes about an hour via freeway to get there. he could ride the bus but he won't come unless someone drives him and picks him up later. Your daughter definitely deserves better! That is great your uncle is helping you like that! I think that's fair for your uncle to claim her. I think by law the dad can't claim her anyways. Unless you go to court and they appoint him primary caregivers for her Im fairly sure only you can. I would double check that but you could use that on why he can't. My dad claimed my daughter once. I lived with him so by letting him do it my rent got cut down a bit for a while lol.


Quoting Kristina_:

yea ur obviously don't care about being clean for the kids. and thats so sad when someone has to lie to make them selves seem like better parents I'm not going to let him cause he really dont deserve it! my uncle is actually claiming her cause he helps me with her so much whenever I need anything he is always there for us, she dorsnt go without cause of him. he lives about 45 miles away from me. sad thing is his gf lives 20 miles from me and he has no problem seeing her but not my daughter.everything will def be on my terms im over being the nice person and letting him walk all over me. this was def the last straw for me



Quoting 4Seasons-89:

It is! If he wasn't so busy being a jerk to me and my kids I might feel sorry for him having so many addiction issues. But he's choosing all of this himself. I have offered him a place in my home to clean up and straighten his life out before but he declined so I can't feel bad for him. All I think about is me and the kids now. I had deleted him of my facebook and blocked him... He pulled the whole I needed to add him so we could talk. Really he just used it to spy on me so I made a fake one to add him to when my son was 2 months old lol. I didn't add any photos or say a word on it for a week and them I wrote him a huge note calling him out after he posted saying he was watching the football game with his son when he was doing nothing of the sort. He's about a year younger than me but he acts like a child now and he loves to call me an old grandma just because we're 8 months apart in age to. It's annoying. It's sad how people try and use facebook as an excuse to keep in touch. Don't let him claim her either. He has no right to especially if he isn't paying child support or helping in any way! Does your daughters father live close? I think if you file he could either try and show up more to make himself look better or he could just continue to be the way he is now. Make sure everything is on your terms though. It's your house and he has no rights there and since you are your daughters primary caregiver you don't technically have to let him have her unless you already have a court agreement. By law I don't have to give my son to his dad since we haven't had a court hearing. Part of the reason I fear taking him to court is because I feel like they won't take my side on the matter and will give him partial custody which I really don't want.









Quoting Kristina_:

I would do that I changed my number & deleted my facebook & blocked him. he started a bigger thing cause I won't let him claim my daughter. oh yeah I would of did the same thing as you, that is so wrong! he can't go hours without a smoke or drinking? thats just sad!!







Quoting 4Seasons-89:

Oh believe me I've tried to tell them all to leave me alone. I've been considering a number change since his dads last visit. I threw him out after I found a flask of booze in his bag and he had left a pocket knife on my couch. He also went and smoked during his "lunch break" which I don't allow since my son is asthmatic. He had planned to stay for 6 hours but after 5 with all that and maybe having 5 things said to me I couldn't take it anymore. I told him he's not allowed in my house anymore. Especially since my daughter wouldn't come out of her room while he was there. She's special needs and doesn't understand what's going on at all. Im thinking about moving when her school year is over. If I do I don't think I'm going to tell his dad. That's good the dads family are so helpful and supportive of you. I don't advice you tell them your plan just in case they try to worn him but they will likely be on your side if they know how he is and you still let them be apart of her life.





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Kristina_
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 7:03 PM
yeah its really sad. I've always been the one taking care of her hes barley been around. Yes way better! as soon as my little brother is finished with his sentence were moving to chicago. & he said he is gonna go to the irs or whatever so I can get in trouble I dont know why theyd ever appoint him as a caregiver lol

Quoting 4Seasons-89:

Wow! That's super sad he won't go the extra little bit to see her. My sons dads moved two towns away. It takes about an hour via freeway to get there. he could ride the bus but he won't come unless someone drives him and picks him up later. Your daughter definitely deserves better! That is great your uncle is helping you like that! I think that's fair for your uncle to claim her. I think by law the dad can't claim her anyways. Unless you go to court and they appoint him primary caregivers for her Im fairly sure only you can. I would double check that but you could use that on why he can't. My dad claimed my daughter once. I lived with him so by letting him do it my rent got cut down a bit for a while lol.




Quoting Kristina_:

yea ur obviously don't care about being clean for the kids. and thats so sad when someone has to lie to make them selves seem like better parents I'm not going to let him cause he really dont deserve it! my uncle is actually claiming her cause he helps me with her so much whenever I need anything he is always there for us, she dorsnt go without cause of him. he lives about 45 miles away from me. sad thing is his gf lives 20 miles from me and he has no problem seeing her but not my daughter.everything will def be on my terms im over being the nice person and letting him walk all over me. this was def the last straw for me





Quoting 4Seasons-89:

It is! If he wasn't so busy being a jerk to me and my kids I might feel sorry for him having so many addiction issues. But he's choosing all of this himself. I have offered him a place in my home to clean up and straighten his life out before but he declined so I can't feel bad for him. All I think about is me and the kids now. I had deleted him of my facebook and blocked him... He pulled the whole I needed to add him so we could talk. Really he just used it to spy on me so I made a fake one to add him to when my son was 2 months old lol. I didn't add any photos or say a word on it for a week and them I wrote him a huge note calling him out after he posted saying he was watching the football game with his son when he was doing nothing of the sort. He's about a year younger than me but he acts like a child now and he loves to call me an old grandma just because we're 8 months apart in age to. It's annoying. It's sad how people try and use facebook as an excuse to keep in touch. Don't let him claim her either. He has no right to especially if he isn't paying child support or helping in any way! Does your daughters father live close? I think if you file he could either try and show up more to make himself look better or he could just continue to be the way he is now. Make sure everything is on your terms though. It's your house and he has no rights there and since you are your daughters primary caregiver you don't technically have to let him have her unless you already have a court agreement. By law I don't have to give my son to his dad since we haven't had a court hearing. Part of the reason I fear taking him to court is because I feel like they won't take my side on the matter and will give him partial custody which I really don't want.












Quoting Kristina_:

I would do that I changed my number & deleted my facebook & blocked him. he started a bigger thing cause I won't let him claim my daughter. oh yeah I would of did the same thing as you, that is so wrong! he can't go hours without a smoke or drinking? thats just sad!!









Quoting 4Seasons-89:

Oh believe me I've tried to tell them all to leave me alone. I've been considering a number change since his dads last visit. I threw him out after I found a flask of booze in his bag and he had left a pocket knife on my couch. He also went and smoked during his "lunch break" which I don't allow since my son is asthmatic. He had planned to stay for 6 hours but after 5 with all that and maybe having 5 things said to me I couldn't take it anymore. I told him he's not allowed in my house anymore. Especially since my daughter wouldn't come out of her room while he was there. She's special needs and doesn't understand what's going on at all. Im thinking about moving when her school year is over. If I do I don't think I'm going to tell his dad. That's good the dads family are so helpful and supportive of you. I don't advice you tell them your plan just in case they try to worn him but they will likely be on your side if they know how he is and you still let them be apart of her life.






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20Keller12
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 7:08 PM
1 mom liked this

I would honestly move to have his parental rights revoked. It can be done and it definitely sounds like this is a situation where it's appropriate.

4Seasons-89
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 7:10 PM
Umm the IRS won't care... You can report him if he does though and they will frown on that lol. Moving would be good for you guys! It is sad that some "men" can't step up to the plate and take responsibility for their kids but by the sounds of it you are a great mom and that's what counts! :)


Quoting Kristina_:

yeah its really sad. I've always been the one taking care of her hes barley been around. Yes way better! as soon as my little brother is finished with his sentence were moving to chicago. & he said he is gonna go to the irs or whatever so I can get in trouble I dont know why theyd ever appoint him as a caregiver lol



Quoting 4Seasons-89:

Wow! That's super sad he won't go the extra little bit to see her. My sons dads moved two towns away. It takes about an hour via freeway to get there. he could ride the bus but he won't come unless someone drives him and picks him up later. Your daughter definitely deserves better! That is great your uncle is helping you like that! I think that's fair for your uncle to claim her. I think by law the dad can't claim her anyways. Unless you go to court and they appoint him primary caregivers for her Im fairly sure only you can. I would double check that but you could use that on why he can't. My dad claimed my daughter once. I lived with him so by letting him do it my rent got cut down a bit for a while lol.






Quoting Kristina_:

yea ur obviously don't care about being clean for the kids. and thats so sad when someone has to lie to make them selves seem like better parents I'm not going to let him cause he really dont deserve it! my uncle is actually claiming her cause he helps me with her so much whenever I need anything he is always there for us, she dorsnt go without cause of him. he lives about 45 miles away from me. sad thing is his gf lives 20 miles from me and he has no problem seeing her but not my daughter.everything will def be on my terms im over being the nice person and letting him walk all over me. this was def the last straw for me







Quoting 4Seasons-89:

It is! If he wasn't so busy being a jerk to me and my kids I might feel sorry for him having so many addiction issues. But he's choosing all of this himself. I have offered him a place in my home to clean up and straighten his life out before but he declined so I can't feel bad for him. All I think about is me and the kids now. I had deleted him of my facebook and blocked him... He pulled the whole I needed to add him so we could talk. Really he just used it to spy on me so I made a fake one to add him to when my son was 2 months old lol. I didn't add any photos or say a word on it for a week and them I wrote him a huge note calling him out after he posted saying he was watching the football game with his son when he was doing nothing of the sort. He's about a year younger than me but he acts like a child now and he loves to call me an old grandma just because we're 8 months apart in age to. It's annoying. It's sad how people try and use facebook as an excuse to keep in touch. Don't let him claim her either. He has no right to especially if he isn't paying child support or helping in any way! Does your daughters father live close? I think if you file he could either try and show up more to make himself look better or he could just continue to be the way he is now. Make sure everything is on your terms though. It's your house and he has no rights there and since you are your daughters primary caregiver you don't technically have to let him have her unless you already have a court agreement. By law I don't have to give my son to his dad since we haven't had a court hearing. Part of the reason I fear taking him to court is because I feel like they won't take my side on the matter and will give him partial custody which I really don't want.















Quoting Kristina_:

I would do that I changed my number & deleted my facebook & blocked him. he started a bigger thing cause I won't let him claim my daughter. oh yeah I would of did the same thing as you, that is so wrong! he can't go hours without a smoke or drinking? thats just sad!!











Quoting 4Seasons-89:

Oh believe me I've tried to tell them all to leave me alone. I've been considering a number change since his dads last visit. I threw him out after I found a flask of booze in his bag and he had left a pocket knife on my couch. He also went and smoked during his "lunch break" which I don't allow since my son is asthmatic. He had planned to stay for 6 hours but after 5 with all that and maybe having 5 things said to me I couldn't take it anymore. I told him he's not allowed in my house anymore. Especially since my daughter wouldn't come out of her room while he was there. She's special needs and doesn't understand what's going on at all. Im thinking about moving when her school year is over. If I do I don't think I'm going to tell his dad. That's good the dads family are so helpful and supportive of you. I don't advice you tell them your plan just in case they try to worn him but they will likely be on your side if they know how he is and you still let them be apart of her life.








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Kristina_
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:36 PM
haha then he can have fun trying :) yes it would be the best thing for us causeI honestly dont need him(: thank you tons its always nice to hear it<333

Quoting 4Seasons-89:

Umm the IRS won't care... You can report him if he does though and they will frown on that lol. Moving would be good for you guys! It is sad that some "men" can't step up to the plate and take responsibility for their kids but by the sounds of it you are a great mom and that's what counts! :)




Quoting Kristina_:

yeah its really sad. I've always been the one taking care of her hes barley been around. Yes way better! as soon as my little brother is finished with his sentence were moving to chicago. & he said he is gonna go to the irs or whatever so I can get in trouble I dont know why theyd ever appoint him as a caregiver lol





Quoting 4Seasons-89:

Wow! That's super sad he won't go the extra little bit to see her. My sons dads moved two towns away. It takes about an hour via freeway to get there. he could ride the bus but he won't come unless someone drives him and picks him up later. Your daughter definitely deserves better! That is great your uncle is helping you like that! I think that's fair for your uncle to claim her. I think by law the dad can't claim her anyways. Unless you go to court and they appoint him primary caregivers for her Im fairly sure only you can. I would double check that but you could use that on why he can't. My dad claimed my daughter once. I lived with him so by letting him do it my rent got cut down a bit for a while lol.








Quoting Kristina_:

yea ur obviously don't care about being clean for the kids. and thats so sad when someone has to lie to make them selves seem like better parents I'm not going to let him cause he really dont deserve it! my uncle is actually claiming her cause he helps me with her so much whenever I need anything he is always there for us, she dorsnt go without cause of him. he lives about 45 miles away from me. sad thing is his gf lives 20 miles from me and he has no problem seeing her but not my daughter.everything will def be on my terms im over being the nice person and letting him walk all over me. this was def the last straw for me









Quoting 4Seasons-89:

It is! If he wasn't so busy being a jerk to me and my kids I might feel sorry for him having so many addiction issues. But he's choosing all of this himself. I have offered him a place in my home to clean up and straighten his life out before but he declined so I can't feel bad for him. All I think about is me and the kids now. I had deleted him of my facebook and blocked him... He pulled the whole I needed to add him so we could talk. Really he just used it to spy on me so I made a fake one to add him to when my son was 2 months old lol. I didn't add any photos or say a word on it for a week and them I wrote him a huge note calling him out after he posted saying he was watching the football game with his son when he was doing nothing of the sort. He's about a year younger than me but he acts like a child now and he loves to call me an old grandma just because we're 8 months apart in age to. It's annoying. It's sad how people try and use facebook as an excuse to keep in touch. Don't let him claim her either. He has no right to especially if he isn't paying child support or helping in any way! Does your daughters father live close? I think if you file he could either try and show up more to make himself look better or he could just continue to be the way he is now. Make sure everything is on your terms though. It's your house and he has no rights there and since you are your daughters primary caregiver you don't technically have to let him have her unless you already have a court agreement. By law I don't have to give my son to his dad since we haven't had a court hearing. Part of the reason I fear taking him to court is because I feel like they won't take my side on the matter and will give him partial custody which I really don't want.


















Quoting Kristina_:

I would do that I changed my number & deleted my facebook & blocked him. he started a bigger thing cause I won't let him claim my daughter. oh yeah I would of did the same thing as you, that is so wrong! he can't go hours without a smoke or drinking? thats just sad!!













Quoting 4Seasons-89:

Oh believe me I've tried to tell them all to leave me alone. I've been considering a number change since his dads last visit. I threw him out after I found a flask of booze in his bag and he had left a pocket knife on my couch. He also went and smoked during his "lunch break" which I don't allow since my son is asthmatic. He had planned to stay for 6 hours but after 5 with all that and maybe having 5 things said to me I couldn't take it anymore. I told him he's not allowed in my house anymore. Especially since my daughter wouldn't come out of her room while he was there. She's special needs and doesn't understand what's going on at all. Im thinking about moving when her school year is over. If I do I don't think I'm going to tell his dad. That's good the dads family are so helpful and supportive of you. I don't advice you tell them your plan just in case they try to worn him but they will likely be on your side if they know how he is and you still let them be apart of her life.









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