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I'm at my breaking point.

Posted by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 2:42 PM
  • 5 Replies

 

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Question: What should I do?

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Find a shelter

Deal with it

Stop your bitching

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Find somewhere to go, and get help


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It seems like ever since I moved in with my fiance, my life has taken a turn upside down, and not in a good way. He is constantly breaking promises, avoiding certain things, and he is just not the person I thought he was. Everyday I want to cry, but I don't because if I do, I get a mirgraine and it doesn't go away for almost a week. I guess I should start at the beginning of my issues. (This could take awhile).

I had my daughter when I was 19, and I was going to school and working at this time. I didn't know I was pregnant with her (please don't write any hate comments below to me saying this), and when I gave birth to her my fiance (boyfirend at that time) convinced me to keep her instead of putting her up for adoption. Well everything seemed fine those first 2 days becuase I was still at the hospital. The day I came home I moved in with him and his sister, which seemed ok for the first few hours. The next few days he became very abusive, and my family wasn't very supportive of me at all for me to move in with them for awhile, until I got on my feet. 

Time went on and things got worse. He forced me to quit my job, give up my privacy regarding EVERYTHING (even going to the bathroom alone), and how our new partment we moved into was taken care of. The only good thing at this point was the fact that my family then became supportive, and we literally did not have to buy her ANYTHING. She is still spoiled to this day.  I gave up everything for my daughter, but he refused to give up anything.

We again moved and of course things didn't get any better. The place we were in was SUPER small, and he ended up buying a puppy. We had a cat at the time, and of course the dog and cat didn't get along. I had to train the dog all on my own, and of he got into a little bit of trouble it was my fault. After, dealing with the constant bitching of how small the place was we moved again, but this time we bought a house, which is where we are right now. Things have gotten to the point that I need to do something. 

We have a hot tub that came with the house, and he destroyed the $500 cover for it, as well as the pool pump (this also came with the house), the deck that the hot tub is on, the carpet in our basement, the concrete in the basement, the latice( I think thats how its spelled), and so much more. He even got into the pool checmicals and ate a bag of shock treatment. Of course he has also dug so many holes, you can't walk in the yard at all unless you want to break your ankle.  

I just came home from school today and we found that the dog destroyed part of his cage that we have to keep him in (or else he would literally destroy everything) and he tore apart some clothes that were down there, as well used the bathroom multiple times (which he was let out only 3 hours before hand and he can hold it for almost 6 hours). I play with hin, walk him, and give attention to him CONSTANTLY so he should not be acting out like this. I've been at the point where I want to get rid of him, but of course my faince refuses to (God forbid). 

Now onto my fiance... he is one big as*hole. Not only is he abusive, but he thinks the world revolves around him. He thinks his job should bow down to him and he should be able to do whatever he wants there, and he just wants handouts. Of course there are other things that are minor sort of that annoy me, that he could change about himself, but he refuses to do anything. he also feels my place is soly at him, but he still feels that I should only relax and let things take care of themselves. He and I are still attending college, and he expects me to do his homework, mine, and to be 5 people at once. I've tried talking to him, but he just doesn't care.

I love my daughter with all my heart, and she is the only reason why I am still alive today. I want nothing more than to move out and take care of her. My problem? I have no money, no job, and my family can't wait to get rid of me completely by getting everything of mine out of their homes, and using those rooms as other things. I'm so lost on what I could/should do, that my mind is blown. 

Does anyone have any thoughts on this? Don't get me wrong I'm happy he provides food, shelter, and other needs for me, but this abuse is just way too much. Even our daughter is afraid to be near him, she's almost 2.

by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 2:42 PM
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Replies (1-5):
lilmamabowers
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 2:57 PM
1 mom liked this
Growing up I was in an abusive home and I still have nightmares of the crazy stuff my dad did to my mom, me, and my sisters. He was not a father at all... Still to this day he has never been my father.
First off, I think you should get out of there as soon as you can. The chance will come. You and your daughter are both too good for that.
Secondly no man should run over you. We have rights just as they do. Our matter of opinion also matters. He is not the center of the world and he is not God. Therefore in many people's eyes, he's an asshole and a nobody.
Lastly I would try talking to my parents and let them know what's really going on. If you have, and they have chose not to help or to care there are shelters out there for people that are leaving abusive relationships. Help is out there girl.
I know you and your daughter do not need to be going through this! I've been there, I know what's it like. Your a strong girl, this I know. Your asking for help for you and your daughter. That shows your strength. Keep fighting girl!
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4Seasons-89
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:13 PM
Talk to your family and let them know what's going on if you haven't already. If they are unwilling to help find a shelter! Do not for any reason stay in the relationship. I know you don't quite like the dog but find it a home before you leave to. If you can leave on the same day that would be ideal so you don't receive any back lash
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April_June
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:34 PM
I LOVE what the first girl said, you and your little girl DO NOT deserve any of that. If it's already bad imagine if you end up pregnant again! It would be a lot tougher! Its great that you are going to college! Props! That's the best thing you can do for you and your daughter! Get help, if your family won't find some one else who will listen, there are people who care! God bless.
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New2011Mom1991
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:39 PM

Thank you to everyone who is replying to this, I honestly didn't think anyone would read all of it. everything you all say is going to be of use, and not blown off. Thank again to you all!

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20Keller12
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:25 AM
Where do you live now? Find the closest womens and childrens shelter, and get a gun permit and a restraining order.
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