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Need Help/Advice.....honestly have no clue what to do :(

Posted by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:02 AM
  • 6 Replies

Hello, my name is Frances, I am 18 and now 25 weeks and 4 days pregnant.....this is going to be a long post but here is my back story and to why I'm asking for August my ex (then boyfriend) and I were having relationship problems, we were constantly fighting, and soon I ended it, I couldn't take the fighting day after day, after day. In September he was still bothering me, of course I just left it, cause it was a pretty bad break up, he was still trying to fight and all this other stuff, so I ignored him (this is the same month we broke up) but in early August we (you know) and soon broke up after cause he was obviously not going to stop the drama he was starting and all that. In later September, my period was late, I thought it was cause of stress,  so I let it be, then near the end of September I still didn't get my period, and I was feeling nauseous, so naturally I waited till October to see if I'd get it, I didn't, so I took a test, it was positive. So what would any girl do? Or well, most girls.....I told him, he of course thought I was lying and used it as a way to just be a major butthead. He kept saying he's going to be there for the baby, blah blah blah, of course I didn't care, cause he'd have to prove it. I moved to Phoenix with my aunt because I wanted a new start, he never texted, called, or anything to see how the baby was only about 2-3 weeks he'd do that. Later on, his little friends try to et into my business, of course I'm mature and ignored it cause I don't need drama from people I do t know. Later in December he texts me saying that he thinks I'm lying about being pregnant, that I've "made his life hell" and that he's done with me and not talking to me anymore. I felt relief cause 1.) I don't have to put up with his drama and 2.) I could be left alone and not stress. Also I felt angry cause I'd never lie about being pregnant......

On the 23rd or so of January, he out of nowhere tries talking to me again, he doesn't tell me he wants to be there for the baby and stuff, and he didn't text he messaged me from his friends Facebook, asking how I was, how the baby was, that he's glad me and the baby are ok, and of course I'm here confused as to why he's even talking to me after what he told me last month. Now he's using a friend that lives with him to message me and tell me what he says, he hasn't told me directly that he wants to be there for my child or anything, I have to hear it from her, so naturally I told her I do t need a middle man to tell me what he says, he an contact me himself, and tell me cause its no ones business but mine, and his. So, she gets attitude, and. Blocked her yesterday cause I really don't need it. On too of that he's threatened my baby's godmother.

So the advice I need, is that I do t know what to believe...... Does he really want to be there or no? Do just stop talking to anyone he talks to and not let him know about the baby cause he isn't man enough to tell me directly?.....I really don't know what to do, I need help from anyone who was or is in the same situation I am..... Please, someone help, I'm on the verge of tears. 

by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:02 AM
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Replies (1-6):
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 1:00 PM

Cut off ties with him. Quit talking to him or anyone that he talks to if they are trying to transfer messages between the two of you. I wasnt in the same situation, but what he is doing sounds like harrassment.

by Platinum Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 1:18 PM
Cut ties completely.
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by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 1:45 PM

I've already cut ties, but yet he manages to try and talk to me. I've even had to change my Humber cause of him

by Gold Member on Feb. 3, 2013 at 2:36 PM


I think you need to follow your gut.  You said you've already cut off ties with him, so the most you're obligated to do is let him know when the baby is born.

Good luck.

by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 3:17 AM
Cut all ties. He sounds just like my father, and trust me, that is the LAST person you want in your child's life. Might get my ass chewed for this but personally I would tell him you miscarried. That way when you tell him to stay the hell out of your life he won't have any arguments. Trust me. My dad was very abusive in many ways. The ongoing (as in years) of stress caused PTSD, bipolar disorder and sinus tachycardia (a permanent heart rhythm disorder that will need to be monitored for the rest of my life).
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by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 9:06 AM

Hopefully things stay this way, all ties are cut. I just think it's stupid how he's not manning up and taking responsibility, and doing this :/ it's a really bit pain.

Also, I'd like to thank everyone for giving me advice <3

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