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Trouble in paradise

Posted by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 12:05 AM
  • 11 Replies
Ok so my boyfriend and I have been together 2 years and have a 5 month old baby girl. When we first met we were head over heals in love that faded but we do still love each other just not like "my heart drops every time I see you love."
He's a great guy, faithful, hard worker,good daddy. This years been rough and full of life opsticals. It has been the hardest year by far either of us have ever been through. I won't go into details but trust me we've been through some SHIT. Things are getting better but why am I so unhappy? Maybe I have postpartum idk!
I'm 18 btw I work really hard I get interviews pretty much everyday I have off and already work part time. I take care of my daughter non stop have no help cuz my bfs a workaholic and works 6 days a week outta town from 4am-7pm then comes home to sleep but one day a week he stays outta town to save gas. He makes good money at least enough to pay the bills no extras. I'm Lonley , I have no me time, can't afford to go spoil myself. Can't go to a party without feeling like shit about it cuz my mon gets sick of helping me so much as it is (free babysitter) that would probably help our relationship if I could do me more often but I can't. My life is pure responsibilitys and I'm loosing it. I feel like nothing I do is good enough and believe me I'm giving it my all. I'm soo frustrated I'll work out for hours and hours and be completely out of energy but somehow still be upset. I have no friends anymore. I'm not happy in my relationship he's a good guy but I need someone right now and he knows it but he doesn't know how to help it....
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by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 12:05 AM
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Replies (1-10):
kissten778
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 12:18 AM
By the way Plz don't say depression meds I can't do pills!!!
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cemcnair
by Courtney on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:38 AM
Talk to him. Let him know that you love how hard he works for your family, but that you miss him.
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soulofsunmama
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 1:20 PM
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Wow, you voiced words for me, very eloquently....I'm so sorry, I feel so MANY of the same things,ugh, shit is exhausting. I pushed away yet another good friend this morning. A sunny day needed here for us us both. Hang in there.
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eds6619
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 1:47 PM
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 Hey, I've been married for 7 years and sounds no different.  This is life now.  You'll never keep that "honeymoon" phase forever.  LOVE is something you need to work at everyday.  Its an action...something you CHOOSE to do. 

Hang in there.  It does get better.

eds6619
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 1:49 PM

 You don't need pills, you just need to realize that this is what adult responsibilites are.  Until you do and make a conscious effort to make the best of things, it'll never get better. 

Quoting kissten778:

By the way Plz don't say depression meds I can't do pills!!!

 

K_mama4
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 11:10 PM
I'm 22 and I went through the same thing with my fiancé. Your best bet is to talk it out and lay everything out on the table. Good luck girly hope things work out for the better.
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meka26
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 11:23 PM
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Quoting eds6619:

 You don't need pills, you just need to realize that this is what adult responsibilites are.  Until you do and make a conscious effort to make the best of things, it'll never get better. 

Quoting kissten778:

By the way Plz don't say depression meds I can't do pills!!!

 

I agree OP. When you become an adult and a parent it's not only about you anymore.


kissten778
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 11:45 PM
Don't take it the wrong way ladies nothing i do is about me. That's why I wrote this blog, because it's frustrating that nothing is about me. I am the most responsible person that I know. I take care of busnuiess & all I just want my boyfriend to understand me and say the words I need to hear to feel better. Being your own best friend is hard. Its fucked up when you have nobody to kid with...
For example just this week I had a very frustrating day...my boyfriend promised when he got home we'd talk but on his way home from work he witnessed a terrible fatal car accident right in front of him and was almost him . He was the first person on seen he has never seen dead bodies before but he saw two right after it happened... He tried to help them but they were gone and he called 911
So point is instead of me venting I had to help him through a tragic problem he's going through. Its not his fault and I will put my problems aside to help him with his worse ones... But do you see what I mean at least? I'm 18 and have all this on my plate and I never get to talk to anyone about it...
& this year has been nothing but tragedies. It's not regular adult issues it's adult issues + incredibly bad luck. And I'm not going to go into it but I don't know anybody that could handle this as well as myself...
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kissten778
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 12:05 AM
That's good advice I believe in that strongly. The word your looking for is "agape" it means love is a choice. & it is I know this but staying strong for my family is not a choice in my opinion it is a have to my mans going through some shit right now so I can't talk about all my problems sooo I took up blogging lol


Quoting eds6619:

 Hey, I've been married for 7 years and sounds no different.  This is life now.  You'll never keep that "honeymoon" phase forever.  LOVE is something you need to work at everyday.  Its an action...something you CHOOSE to do. 


Hang in there.  It does get better.


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meka26
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 12:11 AM



Quoting kissten778:

Don't take it the wrong way ladies nothing i do is about me. That's why I wrote this blog, because it's frustrating that nothing is about me. I am the most responsible person that I know. I take care of busnuiess & all I just want my boyfriend to understand me and say the words I need to hear to feel better. Being your own best friend is hard. Its fucked up when you have nobody to kid with...
For example just this week I had a very frustrating day...my boyfriend promised when he got home we'd talk but on his way home from work he witnessed a terrible fatal car accident right in front of him and was almost him . He was the first person on seen he has never seen dead bodies before but he saw two right after it happened... He tried to help them but they were gone and he called 911
So point is instead of me venting I had to help him through a tragic problem he's going through. Its not his fault and I will put my problems aside to help him with his worse ones... But do you see what I mean at least? I'm 18 and have all this on my plate and I never get to talk to anyone about it...
& this year has been nothing but tragedies. It's not regular adult issues it's adult issues + incredibly bad luck. And I'm not going to go into it but I don't know anybody that could handle this as well as myself...

Hun, just be thankful it's not worse. I had dd at 19. My ex cheated on me and I left. I was 5 mths pregnant and alone. I had my family, but the family I thought I was building with him was gone. I felt so alone and heartbroken. He didn't even care. He went on with his life and I was left raising a baby by myself. He didn't support her financially either. It was a year before I finally realized he wasn't going to do anything unless I made him. I put him on CS and moved on with my life. He just started paying it regularly last year. DD (9) doesn't know who he is. She barely sees him once a year, and that's only if we are out and we run into him. I did not let what happened break me. I had to be strong for dd b/c it was no longer about me. She needed me, and it was my job to pull both my load and my ex's load so she could have a good life. There will always be someone who has it worse than you. Life will never be all we want it to be. We have to accept it for what it is and be thankful it's not worse. Good luck!

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