Am I wrong? Baby Daddy Drama & IDK what to do.

[christymartini]

So I've finally calmed down but I was livid earlier. PHEW does Giselle's dad annoy my entire life!!

I am finally fed up with the BD and his temperament. Okay, our arrangement is that he gives me $200/month and takes Giselle one day out of the weekend, alternating Fridays and Saturdays. Now this past weekend was his Saturday but he called me up & asked if I could keep her the whole weekend because he was going out of town. Now mind you, we had  just had an argument two wks ago because he called me a stupid B and all types of crazy stuff while Giselle was in the car with him because he claims I was being neglectful for not having taken her to the doc, but I digress. So i was already pissed at him but I said whatever and he went. He is supposed to take her this whole weekend but she has a project to do so I told him that I'd keep her this Saturday and he'd take her Friday & saturday next weekend. Cue WWIII. "Nope I can't do it. I have plans. I don't care. I'm not doing. I'm going out of town. I bought tickets." bla bla bla yelling yelling yelling. Now I did have a coworker lunch I wanted to attend but what grinds my gears is his attitude. So I stood my ground and told him that he was techinically supposed to take her that Saturday anyway, so he shouldn't have made plans. He comes and starts being all defensive and loud in my house, and just completely ridiculous. UGH! 

It's frustrating to me because oh he loves her soooo much but his friend outings etc are always priority and if he can't get it his way, well gosh darn it im a stupid unreasonable beeyotch. Can you say psychotic?

Anyway he does this far too often, and although he can be a good dad, I'm TIRED! I frankly don't wanna deal with him anymore. I'm 23 years old and our daughter is 6. THIS SHOULDN'T STILL BE HAPPENING!!!

Is it wrong that I want the court to tell us when he has to take her and whatnot? I just want that stabilized. I thought that went hand in hand with child support but I guess that's a different thing. Im in Chicago, IL and I know it varies by state. If he already gives me $200/ month , is there a point in even filing for child support or will I look like a greedy woman? He has a decent job at Bank of American downtown, while I only work part time and go to school so the money would help but IDK if I'd even have a case. Sigh IDK I'm just frustrated and don't have anyone to talk aboiut this type of ordeal... any help would be amazing. Thanks.

[Ericasamommy]

make a list of all of your expenses for your daughter and see how much the money covers if it isnt that much then you should get more. Probs best to go see a lawyer and just it it sorted instead of fighting all the time. good luck

[jupiter5]

Court!!!! It will back you up and not take his bullshit good luck !

[christymartini]

I guess its the lawyer thing that freaks me out. IDk what Im doing lol But thanks, Ill definetly write down the expenses and track it that way!

[christymartini]

Thanks!!! It's crazy to think how things change from when the babies are first conceived because I really can't stand his ass anymore. lol

[AubreeGrace17]

 You should take him to court. He obviously isn't mature enought to handle the agreement that you two had initially set up.

[20Keller12]

I'd say file for child support and full custody. My dad was like that with my mom. Including calling her every awful name under the sun to me. My dad was abusive to me (physically, verbally and yes, sexually). I'm almost 19, and still suffer from PTSD. There is no telling what he is doing and saying to her when they're alone. At the very least, request supervised visits. Or file for full custody. Either way, NEVER let her be alone with him.

[cerainwondrland]

I told the judge I didn't want cs, she told me I didn't have the right to deny my child the money lol that suprised me,I never thought of it like that.

So no u won't look greedy going after cs. Just remember it's for your daughter,not to get ur nails did haha =P

[esands1231]

Even with the court ordering when he takes her and all of that, it could still be a reoccurring problem. And this is coming from personal experience. My mom and dad used to fight about changing days and blah blah blah all the time (I just turned 18 and I have a 16 year old brother) and they have something stating who gets us kids when from the divorce/child support agreement was reached. I would still go through with it so you do have something else backing it up too, but just keep in mind it might not help completely. 

[grace921]

I used to live in Chicago, IL when I file for child support they charge the father from the day the child was born or ya'll separated. The child support amount depends how much he makes I get 28% for 2 kids out of each of each of his checks. When the judge ask if he has give you mne either he will discount the amount from the BACK child support owe. Or the judge can be an a@#$ and say the money he has given you don't count the judge can say that was a "gift" from him to you. I.got my child support case thru the IL public aid not thru a private lawyer and I wasn't on food stamps or Medicaid. The office is on Randolph and Dearborn

[grace921]

You won't look like a greedy woman because raising a child is expensive especially child care. Because my BD earns minimum wage I get $280 a month for 2 kids (11 and 9 yrs old). That's not even half of what I pay for their after school care but I.don't complain I'm grateful for whatever little bit I can have.