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Am I over-reacting?

Posted by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 7:09 PM
  • 11 Replies

I am 26 weeks pregnant and 19 years old. Pretty much for the last 22 weeks it's been my family supporting my boyfriend and I's decision to keep our baby. When I found out I was pregnant, my boyfriend told his parents before I told anyone. They then called my mom and informed her about what as going on, hinting that they thought the best decision was an abortion or adoption. My mom had no idea I was pregnant at this point and informed them of this. Several days later my mom asked me about it, and I was shocked! My dad was supposed to come down for a visit from Vermont and I had planned to tell them about my pregnancy at the same time. Obviously, I raised hell about this to my boyfriend, who asked his parents what they were thinking. Their response? They didn't know that I hadn't told her and it had "slipped their minds" to tell us that they had told her themselves.

Since then, they've done nothing but try and convince my boyfriend not to have this baby, going so far as to say that they did not plan on helping us. When my boyfriend's mom told her mom, they told her not to tell anyone because "it was not for sure that we were keeping this baby". At this point I was almost 6 months pregnant- I was for sure keeping the baby. Anyways, the point is that they've been COMPLETELY unsupportive this whole time, and recently they've been buying all this stuff for the baby and asking for me to pick out a crib for them to buy us. I refuse to look at any of their "gifts" and I am not going to pick out a crib for them to buy... I don't want it!! As far as I'm concerned, they had plenty of time to be supportive and were not. Now my boyfriend is on their side and says that they are going to see the baby whenever they want whether I like it or not. Obviously I did not take that lightly....

Am I over-reacting or am I justified in my opinion? 

Thanks for responding!

by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 7:09 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 7:24 PM

No you're not, I'de act the same way.  The fact that they wanted you to get an abortion at 6 months shows what disgusting ppl they are!!

by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 8:10 PM
Maybe they were in a sort of shock and are just realizing that their son is in fact going to be a father. So now they are trying to make up for the earlier reaction. Try to like them bc like it or not, they are now part of your baby's life forever and therefore your life.
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by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 8:14 PM
My mom didn't talk to me for the first 7 mts of my three pregnancies.. am I been married since before I was pregnant. It sucks but I just let it roll.
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by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 8:16 PM

ok in the begining i was mad ! i feel bad that his parents were such assholes to you. i got pregnant at 18 had the baby at 19 also so i can relate and no one supported me but my mother basically, well anyways. they were really messed up but you guys are young they probably just didn tknow how to handle it and she is probably trying to make it up to you guys thats why they are coming around. i think you should start fresh and not hold this grudge for you and especially for the babys sake. good luck :)

by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 8:25 PM
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I don't think you are overreacting at all. I would probably do the same thing.

Just remember that help is always good as well.
Maybe sit down with him, then his parents & explain how you feel. 

by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 8:32 PM

It takes time for parents of young parents to come around. Just because they didn't support you at first, doesn't mean they don't support you now.  You're going to be a part of these people's lives now because you're a mother to their grandchild.  You holding this against them is just going to push them away when they're obviously trying to be supportive now.  It seems like they have gotten used to the idea and are now excited about it.

Just think how you would react if you were in their position, even if you were completely supportive, you would still have a hard time dealing with your daughter/ son having a baby so young.

by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 4:21 PM

Id act the same way! they were completely wrong and probably didn't know how to deal with thir son becoming a father at a young age~ not that that gave them the right to act like that, AT ALL!! 

Just remember that they are the grand parents to your child and im sure your child will want a relationship with his/her grandparents!! I know my daughters grandparents are some of her favorite people!! 

They are trying now and maybe it would be good to at least be civil with them, you don't have to be friends or go out of your way to talk to them, but a hello would be good...babies bring families together! good luck!! XOXO

AlexiaProud TEEN mom to Olivia~(12.O1.2OO8) COMING SOON Elliott~(April2O13)

Lilypie Maternity tickers

by Gold Member on Feb. 12, 2013 at 4:46 PM

You have a right to be upset, but bottom line is they've turned a corner. Would you prefer they continue to be unsupportive? Take it from someone who has been in your situation, it may be hard to swallow how they WERE, but try and take notice to who they are trying to be. You don't have to accept any gifts you dont want, but if you want to continue on a good road with your boyfriend you need to try and be reasonable. It will strain your relationship eventually if you dont try. Good luck.

by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 4:57 PM

 I am 24, and my baby daddy is 22. I got pregnant as well not planned. My family was supportive and excited for a grandkid, but his mom thought i ruined his life. I was called names, and that is he sure its his baby. Eventually she came around to the idea. I let them buy things, and he tells them how i am but i personally do not speak to her much. She is not a respectful person in my eyes, but i am resepctful so will allow contact with the baby when he is born. I just thought i would be the bigger person. Shows them also that they are acting childish. good luck with your baby and family!

by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 12:23 AM

Maybe they had their reasons, but I agree with you. After knowing that they wanted you to abort this sweet innocent life, they have no right to be all sweet and buddy-buddy now. That's like saying "Everyone should murder that random chick over there on the street", then, when no one does, they give her hugs and candy and try to be her best friend...

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