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Is it wrong to try to control my sons life?

Posted by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 8:14 PM
  • 12 Replies

 

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Question: Am I over stepping the boundrys being over controlling and down right over dramatic????

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I am 17 with a 2 month old son who I love dearly. I am in high school so my mom watches him during the day and has raised 3 kids of her own. She did a great job raising her 3 kids now 19,17, and 14 although my mom does what ever she wants with my son with out asking even my oppinion. Things like taking him for a walk when it is only 15 degrees Farenheight out side or smoking around him or co-sleeping with him. Then when I tell her I dislike something she tells me I am being over dramatic and this is her grandson she can do what ever she wants with him. Also she has rules that I can not take him out in the cold, to the store, in public, to his dads house or anywere she does not deem acceptable with out her. 

by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 8:14 PM
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Replies (1-10):
SweetMama823
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 8:19 PM
You need to set rules with your mom. She's done raising her kids she's just the grandma not his mom. Be firm with her if she cares she will respect your wishes. She needs to let you be the parent. Good luck.
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ScarletRose4488
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 8:20 PM

You are still acting like a child and so your mom is treating you like one.   This is your child and you have the final say on everything. 

Jen
~ I speak from the heart because the truth is always the best - even if you don't know it yet. ~
Ethansmama2012
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 8:35 PM

I am not sure how I am acting like a child I just want the best for him and find it unfair that she can do as she wishes with him why can't I for example I wanted to formula feed she said no you are going to breast feed so I have been but now my supply is going down and she says it is my fault for not trying hard enouph


Ethansmama2012
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 8:37 PM

I take full care of him when ever I am home and never ask her for help I ask my sister if she is not busy and only if I really need it......If you have a idea as to how I can act more mature I will take your suggestion :)


shadow_lark
by Bronze Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 8:39 PM
There are no boundaries for you to overstep. He us your child, you get final say in all decisions concerning him. End of discussion, period. She is grandma, maybe you should take her suggestions into consideration, but it is always your decision in the end she has no right to go against your wishes or make rules for you regarding the care or your own child.
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blondie.mom
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 8:39 PM
Your child, your decisions. Period. She needs to respect that. If she can't then maybe it's time to find a new sitter.
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cemcnair
by Courtney on Feb. 15, 2013 at 8:43 PM
Nope-he's your kid, she needs to respect your wishes.
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KylersMom8-16-7
by Gold Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 9:26 PM
Hun he's YOUR child so you need to put your foot down. Do you have anyone else who can watch him?

She can't tell you what to do and she has ZERO say over what you do with him. She can't do whatever she wants with YOUR son. Put her in her place respectfully:-)

She is also potentially putting him at risk by smoking around him:

Asthma

Infants exposed to secondhand smoke at home have an increased chance of developing asthma. Asthma is a chronic disease affecting your airways. Babies who grow up around smokers become very sensitive to certain triggers, such as allergies or exercise. When they react to these triggers their airways narrow, causing wheezing, shortness of breath and coughing. Smoke can also trigger asthma attacks in people who have asthma.

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) is the sudden, unexplained death of an infant under 1 year of age. There are many risk factors for SIDS, including sleeping on the stomach, overheating and poor prenatal care. Another risk factor is smoking. Infants born to mothers who smoked during pregnancy and those who live in houses where one or both parents smoke have an increased risk of dying of SIDS.

Pneumonia

An increased chance of being hospitalized due to pneumonia during their first year of life is another effect smoking has on infants. Smoking is also linked to other lower-respiratory infections that require infants to be hospitalized.

Considerations

All of these effects are seen in households where either parent smokes. The risks are even greater when infants are breastfed by mothers who are heavy smokers--those who smoke more than 20 cigarettes a day. Maternal smoking has also been linked to earlier weaning and less milk production in breastfeeding mothers. All secondhand smoke is harmful to infants, but it is less so when it occurs outside an infant's home and by those who are not the primary caregivers.

Prevention/Solution

If you are parents of an infant, make every effort to stop smoking. If you cannot quit, try to smoke outside or in a separate room from the baby. Avoid exposing your baby to secondhand smoke whenever possible. Ask family and friends to avoid smoking when your infant is present.

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ittyprincess604
by Bronze Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 11:46 PM

no you are not over-reacting at all. I have the same problem with my mom. I know this sounds harsh, and anyone can feel free to disagree, but this is your son, not hers, regardless of how extreme any body thinks any rule you make is, at the end of the day, you are his mother and you should get final say so. 

Me and my mom fight about this often. Shell take him 1-2 days a week, takes him out at 30 degrees with no coat because "shes warm enough", lets him stay up until 3 am, then will give him a nap at 4pm before she brings him home at 7pm when his bedtime is supposed to be at 9:30, eats only junk food, buys him everything, lets him play with things she knows I have rules about etc...

NicholeJirik
by Member on Feb. 16, 2013 at 12:28 AM

your not over reacting, i have the same problem with my mom and dad and my daughter is almost 2, the sooner you make it clear that YOU are the mother and YOU will have finle say the easyer it will be. maybe try talking to her? its posible she's just scared of you growing up.

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