Over the course of the past few days, both my SO and his family members have made it a point to tell me that I am holding my daughter too much and that she will ''never be able to be on her own or be held or cared for by anyone else because of me."
Now, let me explain. For one thing, I openly give her to other family members to hold when they visit. Sometimes being passed around like a hot potato makes her upset, and sometimes it doesn't. But she IS exposed to other people.
Another thing...I leave her in the bassinet when I am making myself something to eat or grabbing some dishes or etc etc.
Other than that however...I do hold her quite a bit. And she sleeps next to me in the bed (please, no nasty remarks) with the covers at waist level tucked between the bed, myself and the pack n play, flat on the bottom sheet.
Every time she cries, I pick her up if I am not too busy doing something else. If she is on my lap and cries, I move her to stimulate her in doing something else. I keep her with me on the couch during the day instead of having her sit alone somewhere else, and put her in the bassinet if she cooperates...or if she is upset, I stick her in a papoose to sweep and get the dishes done (which usually has her fall asleep).
I am basically being scolded because when she cries, I ALWAYS do something to try and soothe her instead of ''letting her cry''...and I don't feel like this is wrong? She is my baby. And when she is upset, a part of the inside of me screams out to comfort her, even if I am in another room, in the shower, anywhere. I just think it is natural for me to want to comfort my child...and I don't honestly believe that you can spoil a child by holding her too much...am I wrong?
Since she has been home, it is RARE that she will fall asleep anywhere by herself. She constantly wants to be held by someone, has always kicked her way out of a swaddle and wakes herself crying within a few minutes of being put to sleep in a crib.
Part of the reason I have not changed my habits with her is because she is EBF, and she eats every two hours, on the dot. It is easy to have my baby next to me, I am already completely still on my side. She doesn't have to fully waken or cry for me to sense it and wake up to feed her.
I do want to be able to transfer her to her own bedding when she is perhaps a little older, and able to eat more and sleep for longer periods of time. I feel as though the struggle to put her to sleep and her waking up repeatedly when already eating every two hours (plus the actual TIME for the feeding, burping, changing between those two hours) is not worth it.
I try explaining this to people and I still feel criticized about these points as well as breastfeeding (formula feeding family members on and on...) and other things. I would just like some opinions from other mothers who may have been in similar situations....