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Internationally Adopting

Posted by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 10:34 PM
  • 10 Replies

Hi ladies I was just wondering what is your opinion on adopting kids internationally b/c my friend cant have kids and she wants kids so bad that it kills me to watch her look at my daughter and say I wish I had one she has already asked me if I could have her baby, but I told idk with what I have going on and we have been looking at afoption agencies and so far she has found some kids she would like to adopt..I need help on this and I would take any advice

by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 10:34 PM
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Replies (1-10):
DarlaHood
by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 11:09 PM

International adoptions can vary widely depending on the country, the agency, and the people involved.  I have friends who have adopted from Kazakhstan, the cutest and sweetest little girl.  They got her when she was about 6 mos old.  They had to go over there several times, and the last time they had to stay for about 5 weeks because of government requirements.  And the adoption laws and climate in a country can change, so you have to work with a good agency that walks you through.  My friends had a case worker who was fluent in English and walked them through everything.  They have also remained friends with other families who were there adopting at the same time.  So I would think it would be important to connect with families here who have gone through the process with good results, and go to agencies that you have multiple solid referrals about.

Also it is important to know the history of the children, and to know that they have been held, nurtured, stimulated.  Because if they haven't, it can lead to many problems that you may not be expecting or prepared to handle.  Proceed with caution. 

And don't look for the kid first.  Look for the agency first.

peanutlove9
by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 11:10 PM

I think adoption is a beautiful thing, i am adorpted myself and so is my brother. Adopted kids can be hard because of the feelings that they may have about not being loved by their birth family but there are some that feel they were so loved their parents wanted them to have a better life. i think your friend should go for it if she is really ready and find a baby that needs her help and that she can give unconditional love to. Tell her good luck and best wishes from me.   -- Brie

Shaketa123
by on Mar. 1, 2013 at 1:02 AM

Wow..I didnt know any of this thank you this will be helpful for them

Quoting DarlaHood:

International adoptions can vary widely depending on the country, the agency, and the people involved.  I have friends who have adopted from Kazakhstan, the cutest and sweetest little girl.  They got her when she was about 6 mos old.  They had to go over there several times, and the last time they had to stay for about 5 weeks because of government requirements.  And the adoption laws and climate in a country can change, so you have to work with a good agency that walks you through.  My friends had a case worker who was fluent in English and walked them through everything.  They have also remained friends with other families who were there adopting at the same time.  So I would think it would be important to connect with families here who have gone through the process with good results, and go to agencies that you have multiple solid referrals about.

Also it is important to know the history of the children, and to know that they have been held, nurtured, stimulated.  Because if they haven't, it can lead to many problems that you may not be expecting or prepared to handle.  Proceed with caution. 

And don't look for the kid first.  Look for the agency first.


Shaketa123
by on Mar. 1, 2013 at 1:03 AM

Thanks I will and I'm glad you and your brother found loving families

Quoting peanutlove9:

I think adoption is a beautiful thing, i am adorpted myself and so is my brother. Adopted kids can be hard because of the feelings that they may have about not being loved by their birth family but there are some that feel they were so loved their parents wanted them to have a better life. i think your friend should go for it if she is really ready and find a baby that needs her help and that she can give unconditional love to. Tell her good luck and best wishes from me.   -- Brie


unspecified42
by on Mar. 1, 2013 at 1:16 AM
My sister is Chinese, so obviously I have a favorable opinion of international adoption:) it is fairly expensive, though, and many countries have restrictions for adoptive parents.
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Shaketa123
by on Mar. 1, 2013 at 1:31 AM

I've heard of the restrictions that some of the countries have

Quoting unspecified42:

My sister is Chinese, so obviously I have a favorable opinion of international adoption:) it is fairly expensive, though, and many countries have restrictions for adoptive parents.


sak9645i
by on Mar. 1, 2013 at 4:54 PM
1 mom liked this

International adoption can be a wonderful way to form a family.  I adopted my daughter from China when she was 18.5 months old.  Now, she is 17 years old and applying to colleges!  She has been the joy of my life.

It is very important to work with an agency that has a reputation for legal and ethical practices and good client service.  Remember that international adoption has to comply with the laws of the parents' country and local jurisdiction, the child's country and local jurisdiction, and sometimes, the Hague Convention on intercountry adoption, an international treaty that is designed to protect children, their birth families, and their adoptive parents.  Also, when you adopt internationally, you have to consider not only adoption laws, but also immigration laws.  As an example, if you complete an adoption from a country, and the child you adopt does not qualify as an "eligible orphan" under the U.S. Immigration and Nationality Act, you won't be able to bring him/her home unless you live overseas for two years with him/her.

I see from your photo that you are Black.  Is your friend also African-American?  There is a great need in this country for Black families willing to adopt Black children.  If she wishes to adopt internationally, while she doesn't have to seek out Black children, there is definitely a need for adoptive parents in countries like Ethiopia, Congo, and so on.  There are also Black children available in Haiti.  Unfortunately, some of these countries have had a problem with serious corruption in their adoption system, or with systems that are not well-organized.  If your friend goes with one of these countries, she should be especially careful to work only with an agency that is highly experienced, takes care to ensure that babies are not being bought or stolen, and has created a program with reasonably predictable time frames and fees.

Sharon

Jennygurl09
by on Mar. 1, 2013 at 5:15 PM

She should speak with a lawyer on the matter.

eds6619
by on Mar. 1, 2013 at 6:16 PM

 I don't see anything wrong with it.  Personally, if I were going to adopt, I'd prefer to do so from here, but thats really difficult so I think thats why a lot do it internationally.

Shaketa123
by on Mar. 1, 2013 at 9:42 PM

My friend is mxed bt her husband is black and they are both having trouble on what race to adopt bt hopefully they will agree and they fond an agency so far

Quoting sak9645i:

International adoption can be a wonderful way to form a family.  I adopted my daughter from China when she was 18.5 months old.  Now, she is 17 years old and applying to colleges!  She has been the joy of my life.

It is very important to work with an agency that has a reputation for legal and ethical practices and good client service.  Remember that international adoption has to comply with the laws of the parents' country and local jurisdiction, the child's country and local jurisdiction, and sometimes, the Hague Convention on intercountry adoption, an international treaty that is designed to protect children, their birth families, and their adoptive parents.  Also, when you adopt internationally, you have to consider not only adoption laws, but also immigration laws.  As an example, if you complete an adoption from a country, and the child you adopt does not qualify as an "eligible orphan" under the U.S. Immigration and Nationality Act, you won't be able to bring him/her home unless you live overseas for two years with him/her.

I see from your photo that you are Black.  Is your friend also African-American?  There is a great need in this country for Black families willing to adopt Black children.  If she wishes to adopt internationally, while she doesn't have to seek out Black children, there is definitely a need for adoptive parents in countries like Ethiopia, Congo, and so on.  There are also Black children available in Haiti.  Unfortunately, some of these countries have had a problem with serious corruption in their adoption system, or with systems that are not well-organized.  If your friend goes with one of these countries, she should be especially careful to work only with an agency that is highly experienced, takes care to ensure that babies are not being bought or stolen, and has created a program with reasonably predictable time frames and fees.

Sharon


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