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How to deal with a non-supportive family

Posted by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 1:14 AM
  • 8 Replies
I am just 12 weeks and it seems like my family doesn't care at all. They don't call or ask how things are going unless its a Segway into needing something. My boyfriends family is extremely supportive and his mom texts me at least once a week to see how I'm feeling and how I'm doing. It's been surprising that his mom is like that because I never felt like I was part if the family till I told her I was pregnant. At this point I won't complain because it feels good to know they care but how long do I let my own family bother me before I just say adios? I'm not interested in letting them get used to the idea because they have had plenty of time.
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by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 1:14 AM
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Replies (1-8):
September2013
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 3:05 AM
Trust me i understand.. Im 12 weeks as well.. Mind u i told my mom around 10 weeks. We don't talk about it, until i sent her a text Saying "i think i may get a,abortion" i couldn't believe her answer was like "yes, get one asap" i was pissed.. So i know what she wants..,smh.. Im hurt bc i needed her support which she gave when i first told her, but it seemed she was still considering
Abortion.. But hinting it to me.. She has not asked, how am i doing, nor the baby.. It makes it hard to come out n tell the rest of my family.. Idk how im going to do it..
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jojo_star
by Jo on Mar. 24, 2013 at 6:33 AM

How old are you? There isn't anything you can do. If you are young or rely on your parents, you can't be surprised that they are upset, because this is another child for them to help support. If you are living on your own and doing well, then I'm not sure what they're problem is, but you can't let it worry you. 

cemcnair
by Courtney on Mar. 24, 2013 at 10:27 AM
Hugs!
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heathermarie23
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 10:34 AM

When I was pregnant with my 1st, I didn't have a lot of support.  I didn't really care, didn't ask anyone for anything.  Drove myself to the hospital... 5 years later some of my family has appologized for the things they said, others send my kids (2, one on the way) birthday cards/gifts and call and speak with them.  About a year after my first was born, my uncle came up to me hugged me and said "I'm sorry for what I said about you, you are a great mom".   To this day, I won't ask them for help.  But the main one against it was my father and he often asks my kids to do things with him now.  I guess my advice would be don't sweat it, just do what you have to!  If you don't expect the support, you won't be disappointed when you don't get it.  Good luck!

Ashmilton29
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 11:11 AM
I'm 22 and haven't lived with my parents since I was 17. I'm a full time preschool teacher as well as a full time student. I'm not married but I've been with the dad for 4 years now. I never ask anything of them or from them and i never intended to but somehow they feel like they are entitled to an opinion I guess.


Quoting jojo_star:

How old are you? There isn't anything you can do. If you are young or rely on your parents, you can't be surprised that they are upset, because this is another child for them to help support. If you are living on your own and doing well, then I'm not sure what they're problem is, but you can't let it worry you. 


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Ashmilton29
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 11:17 AM
Unfortunately that sounds an awful lot like my situation. Probably dive or so years ago my mom had a relapse with pills and alcohol that she was sober from for 22 years and since then things between us have never been the same. And it's not really her and my step dad that bother me because they will be the ones that miss getting to see their grandchild it's my grandparents. My grandparents raised me and their opinion has always mattered and they are extremely old fashioned like many grandparents are but it crushed me when I called my grandfather on his birthday and rushed me off the phone and this never used to be the case. I don't understand and I don't wanna lose them it just feels like it's turning into a poisonous environment.
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Ashmilton29
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 11:20 AM
I would be furious! I was around 8 weeks when I told the rest of my family. The overwhelming amount of disappointment in everyone was terrifying because I would never be disappointed for my daughter, niece or granddaughter.
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eds6619
by Emily on Mar. 24, 2013 at 3:55 PM

 I'm sorry.  Just remember that once the baby is here your bf's mom might still want to be super involved.....

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