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18, Expecting and Scared

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This week my life changed completely

I was a party girl who was just having fun being 18 and free. Ive been dating this guy for about 3 months and just recently found out im pregnant with his baby. At the moment he has no job, no car and is not attending school. I dont love him and this was completely unexpected. Since we found out he has been job hunting every day and promising me he will step up and support me and the baby. He tells me he loves me and i believe him, however im terrified that if i put my faith in him and move in with him he'll end up letting me down. I want to believe he means his promises but i feel so alone and unsure about everything. 

It was hard for me to even find the stregnth to keep this baby, but ive always been against abortion and i dont think Id have it in me to adopt the baby away. Im determined to save as much as i can before this December when the baby is due and at this point id like to find other girls who can relate to me. My friends are great but they just dont fully understand how im feeling with all of this. 

Im staying strong and reminding myself that once my baby is here it will all be worth the stress and tears. 

Any one with advice or that can relate?

by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 1:20 AM
Replies (21-27):
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 8:42 PM
My daughter turns 3 next month. They grow so fast!

Quoting NataliaLinny:

He is two

Quoting kaylaybaby666:

Awe congrats :) how old is your first

Quoting NataliaLinny:

My second!!

Quoting kaylaybaby666:

Is this your first?

Quoting NataliaLinny:

Yea hahaha

Quoting kaylaybaby666:

Yay another December mom!

Quoting NataliaLinny:

I'm due December 20th and i am 5 weeks 3days

Quoting QuillaBee:

Yeah im using this 9 months as his test honestly. 

Im not sure on the exact date but im due sometime mid december this year. 

How far along are you?

by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 9:40 PM
1 mom liked this

Let me start by saying I was 17 and a senior in highschool when I found out I was pregnant. I had been with the guy for 3 YEARS but he was horrible. i thought I loved him but looking back I definitely did not. It has been almost a year sine my wonderful little girl was born and that little boy has never seen my daughter and I hope he never tries to. I have a wonderful boyfriend and a supportive family and I wouldn't change it for the world. My point is, you do not under any circumstances have to stay with the father of your baby. If you do not love him do not be with him. Their are plenty of children whose parents are not together. For me, it is better to be separated and happy than together and a child grow u in a house that does not show love. If you want to give it a shot go for it but don't force yourself to make it work. Also, I won't sugar coat it. Being a mother is HARD, but it is also the most rewarding feeing on the face of the plant when that little baby is crying and crying and as soon as you pick them up the crying stops and you can see the unconditional love in their eyes. So, be strong. Think long and hard about whether you want to be with this man. And, if you ever need someone to talk too you can talk to me. Good Luck

by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 9:50 AM

Just go with your gut. I got pregnant at 16 and had my first girl at 17. I was terrified. My boyfriend didn't have a job in the beginning but he did get one once Chloe was born and helped us out. But I never moved in with him, I stayed living at my parents and he lived with his as well. It is a scary thing, being pregnant so young. But you have to be strong and go with what you feel is right, everything will work out in the end.

by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 9:54 AM
You'll be alright just take a deep breath and start doing what YOU can do for this baby. Just remember if you want something right then do it yourself lol. If you don't feel he's dependable then try and not lean on him for financial support. He might surprise you tho.
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by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 9:56 AM

i was the same age as you when i found out i was pregnant(and had my son) :) if your worried that he will let you down just get a job to support yourself as well, dont just rely on him to make all of the money(especially if he doesnt even have a job yet) thats the best advice i can give sorry lol

by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 9:57 AM

Honestly I wouldn't move in with him right away. That is great he's trying to find a job and wants to step up. But let him do that in the way things are right now.  Once the baby gets here if he's still the same you all can dicuss that again further.  

You could also pick up side job like baby sitting, housekeeping, etc if you need the extra money. And lets face it with kids we always could use extra money lol.  You should be able to get pregnancy medicaid to help with doctor bills.  

Also, you need to be honest with your feelings. You say you don't love him, but he's saying he loves you.  There's some miscommunication there that needs to be addressed. Don't convince yourself there's feelings just for the sake of the baby.  It's not a healthy way for a relationship to mature.  

You can do this, just stay strong!

by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 10:27 AM

hey i know exactly how you feel i was 16 when  i got pregnet with my son elijah and my bf at the time     v

(babys daddy ) just lost his job and i was already raising my two brothers ... and the best advice i can give you is to pray about it and to do what you can .... this baby deserves you and it sounds like you know what is best for it keep it and i know how it sounds but try the best you can because to that baby your best will be good enough

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