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im 18 an pregnant. please help

Posted by on May. 24, 2013 at 6:56 PM
  • 20 Replies

i just need support, i live with my boyfriend/ baby daddy and i just found out he was cheating on me with his ex we have had problems with are whole relationship. he says the same stuff everytime saying itll change i just have such strong feelings about having my daughter have a family like i did , a mom and dad to me is a big thing. i dont know what i should do or how to get over it i wake up every morning and thats the first thing i think about but i love him and i want to work on things because i would feel so bad if my daughter didnt have a mom and dad at home.... help please

by on May. 24, 2013 at 6:56 PM
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by on May. 24, 2013 at 7:00 PM
If you both want to you need to work on the relationship. Be aggressive about what you want. Too many babies brought in the world by a single parent because the parents just shouldn't be together in the first place. Tell him what the consequences are if he doesn't get his crap together. You and that baby need to be happy.
by on May. 24, 2013 at 7:02 PM

we have tried to talk about it, its just so different now.... i just think i have so much anger built up about all this

by on May. 24, 2013 at 7:03 PM
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You CAN fix it IF he also wants to. Talk to him about fixing things and being faithful. That's where you start
by on May. 24, 2013 at 7:24 PM
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Dump him and move on, you have a child to think about. Your child is better off with a happy mom and no dad, than a hurt and angry mom and someone like that for a father. Do not stay in a relationship just because you think your child needs two parents. No parent is better than a bad parent that makes everyone unhappy. I was a single mom for 5 years, and my son is perfectly happy. He has a wonderful father, my husband, and is no worse off for having had just a mother for the first five years of his life. 

by on May. 24, 2013 at 7:29 PM
You say you found out he WAS cheating? Like past tense? Or is he still cheating? There are many support Groups here on Cafemom, i can help you to find them to get support, if he has stopped and is willing to change, there is hope.

"The measure of a man's real character is what he would do if he knew he would never be found out."

by Member on May. 24, 2013 at 9:38 PM

Of course you want your daughter to have mommy and daddy together however sometimes this can not be. Please don't blame yourself.  It takes 2 to be in a committed relationship and together you need to talk get out your feelings and hopefully the two of you can work this out. Honestly only time will tell if being together is going to last. The fact you state he cheated on you and that you have had problems your whole relationship is so sad. Breaking trust is a big problem. He needs to prove you can trust him and that will take time. You need to think about if you can move passed his cheating and move forward.  That cannot be an easy thing to do. Right now you should be focusing on your pregnancy and not having to worry over him.  I hope things get better. Try not to be so stressed.  Do you have any family support? 

by on May. 24, 2013 at 10:54 PM

If he says "the same stuff every time saying it will change" and so far it hasnt, then you've done all you can. Accept that he is not going to change. You and your child deserve better then this loser. Your child will be better off having one amazing mom then having a mom and a Dad who have a bad relationship. It's better to have no father at all than a cheating scumbag of a father. You've got to think what is best for your daughter. Good luck with everything.

by Platinum Member on May. 24, 2013 at 11:44 PM
Not worth it in my opinion. Your daughter needs a happy mommy which you won't be if you think he's fucking around on you. He cheated once he probably will again.

Move on.
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by on May. 24, 2013 at 11:53 PM

you need to sit down and talk, find out if he's ready to step up and be a father to your daughter. You can't force him to grow up but hopefully he'll get himself together and realize whats more important, goodluck 

by on May. 25, 2013 at 2:08 AM
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From my experiences once a cheater always a cheater. And I understand you want your daughter to grow up with both parents. But it would be better for her if you were a single parent vs her growing up watching a dysfunctional relationship and thinking that's the way it should be. Cause she'll just end up in the same situation your in, feeling the way you are and I know you don't want that. But if you can fix the relationship DO IT! Give him ultimatums. Either you or her! I know my husbands password to every account he has and can check his phone whenever I want and vice versa. If you don't, I suggest you ask for it and if he's not willing to give it up he's hiding something or planning on being sneaky. Plus you have a reason to have his info cause he's obviously not trust worthy!You deserve the best and so does your daughter! Don't settle for that! You can find another man who will treat you like the queen you are while treating your babygirl like a princess! And who WONT cheat on you! I wish you the best of luck mama!

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