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A mess..

Posted by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 6:28 PM
  • 8 Replies

I am newly pregnant (due early March 2014) and this sets me in a tough spot. I am a nursing student in college(rough course in general), just started a new job, bipolar and have a boyfriend of 4 years that I live with but we haven't been doing so good lately. Before I found out I was pregnant, I told him he had a month to find a roommate and I was going to move out. Sure enough, at what seemed the worst possible time, I found out I was pregnant. 

Due to the circumstances, my boyfriend and I decided to give things one last try for the baby's sake. Though,if things don't work out I believe it's better to live with parents separated than two miserable parents. Things seem to be going really well, we get along, he's very understanding of my horrible mood swings now that I had to get off the medication I was on for bipolar and all the raging pregnancy hormones. 

However, here are my problems I need to tackle now:

1. His family is CRAZY. Even my boyfriend cannot stand them. I do not want my child to grow up learning from them. I understand, this child is their blood relative and I should not deprive the baby of a family when it has one, but I can't pull myself to let go enough to put it in, what I consider, a hostile, unhealthy situation. Should I limit the amount of time they see the child and just always supervise?? Or not at all?

2.  Because we aren't so stable yet (relationship wise) I don't know what last name to give the child, his mine or hyph?

3. My new job requires that I be there a year before requesting medical leave without replacement. However, I am 2 months pregnant now and I just started. What should I do when I need time off? I don't want them to replace me, I can't afford to lose my job when I just had a baby.

4. I am getting really sick being pregnant. I can't eat anything without throwing it back up. I have tried ginger, lemon, crackers etc etc even medications, but I still feel like I am not getting enough nutrients to sustain this baby. I am taking prenatal vitamins but again, throwing up, I am not sure how much the baby is actually getting.



by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 6:28 PM
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Replies (1-8):
jojo_star
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 8:28 PM

Hi! First off, you can manage nursing school while pregnant and raising a child. It's hard, but you can do it. My first year I was a single mother, and the summer between my 1st and 2nd year I got married and my husband also had a child, so I was suddenly a mom of two. Tough, but doable. Secondly, do not stay with your boyfriend just for the baby, that isn't in your best interests, or the baby's. As far as his family goes, yes, limit contact as much as you feel is appropriate. I suggest giving the baby your last name. If things work out, you can always change it later. Talk to your employer about the job situation, but that's a tough one. Hopefully they'll work with you. Unless you are underweight, the baby is going to get enough, but make sure to talk to your dr. There are multiple medications you can try, I'm currently pregnant and have hyperemesis, zofran didn't touch it, but phenergan is working like a charm. 

MandaMom23
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 8:30 PM

 Hang in there, brighter days are ahead.

MesDennis20
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 11:05 PM
1- Yes, limit contact or even supervise if you feel they're not stable or safe enough to have your child around alone.
2- I personally think it would be best to give the baby your last name. One of my BIGGEST regrets is that I gave my oldest his biological fathers last name. It KILLS me.
3- Not sure about the work situation /:
4- Talk to your obgyn about the morning sickness, they have medication for it.
Benswifey10710
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 11:50 PM
100% agree!

Quoting jojo_star:

Hi! First off, you can manage nursing school while pregnant and raising a child. It's hard, but you can do it. My first year I was a single mother, and the summer between my 1st and 2nd year I got married and my husband also had a child, so I was suddenly a mom of two. Tough, but doable. Secondly, do not stay with your boyfriend just for the baby, that isn't in your best interests, or the baby's. As far as his family goes, yes, limit contact as much as you feel is appropriate. I suggest giving the baby your last name. If things work out, you can always change it later. Talk to your employer about the job situation, but that's a tough one. Hopefully they'll work with you. Unless you are underweight, the baby is going to get enough, but make sure to talk to your dr. There are multiple medications you can try, I'm currently pregnant and have hyperemesis, zofran didn't touch it, but phenergan is working like a charm. 

amonkeymom
by Gold Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 1:31 PM

I agree about limiting contact between your future child and your child's father's family.  

As for the last name you give your child, I gave my oldest his dad's last name (even though we weren't together) and while there were times I wish I hadn't, I am glad now that I did.

Talk to your employer and your doctor about your pregnancy, etc.  Talk to your doctor especially about your morning sickness.

C.H.E.L.S.E.A
by Silver Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 3:59 PM

 1. I would always be there when they are visiting your baby. And if things get bad or weird, leave early.

2. Go with yours. You can always change it if you guys end up working out and marrying.

3. Talk to your employer about that one

4. Babies will get all the nutrients, if anything you will be the one lacking, not your baby. Talk to your doctor, they can suggest things to you or even prescribe something that will make you sick less.

SabrinaLC
by on Jul. 17, 2013 at 5:34 PM

Limit contact with that part of the family if you want.

If you have a daughter go with either.  She'll get married oneday anyway and it's probably going to change.
If it's a son, and you're on good terms with the father, go with his.  That way his family name will be able to go on to future generations.

You should speak with your employer and doctor about the other things.  Pregnancy can be tough. 

sunshine86912
by on Jul. 18, 2013 at 2:35 PM

 i wasnt able to read it all right now, but I am going to come back and finish :)

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