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I don't know what will this relatonship turn out as.Vent.

Posted by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 8:50 PM
  • 46 Replies
So kody and I got an argument tonight before he left for his class. I am so upset at him tonight. So for the past few weekends well since basically we have moved in together he has been going out every weekend. I get he wants to go out once and I while who doesn't? As a father he can't just go out every weekend. So yeah we got into it tonight. Luckily Ky was at my moms. So I got him to sit down so we could talk about this and we started talking and everything is cool and all. Then I say "Kody I love you and you are part of a family but honestly if you want to be part of this family daily you really need start to stop going out every weekend. You constantly apologize but do it again! we can't have that! You say you want to be part of this family so please for this family stop going out and drinking. You aren't home and it scares me I have lost my best friend from a drunk driver killing him!" He says "Whatever Erin this is ridiculous I need to stop my social life I want to hang out with my friends" I say: "Kody really if you want to party all the time then move out kody. Kyleigh, this baby and I love you to death but this family can't do this" He gets up and says "I need to go! bye"
 
so yeah this is making me upset! I love kody more then anything he gets me and takes me for me!!! Kyleigh and him get along they have fun together. Honestly he is a great dad to ky and he's so loving but every weekend he goes out. I don't like him going out but I do love him! He wants to be a dad to my daughter and this baby! I understand every couple weeks but we have a baby on the way, I have a daughter to think about. Kody keeps saying she's our daughter. I just want communication and when I try to tell him how I feel it turns out this way! Why? I want a happy family for my daughter and this baby. I don't want to deal with no communication in my family! I know it never turns out right! Feeling broken! I am going to go to bed soon to sleep it off. I don't know what to do anymore.
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by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 8:50 PM
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Replies (1-10):
RachelBy
by on Aug. 1, 2013 at 10:21 AM
He seems really scared :/ does he have any friends who are fathers? They may be able to have a heart to heart from a male perspective which might open his eyes. I'm not much help, my husban took to being a father very naturally and loves being a husband/father. I hope he is able to realize that your, and your children's needs are more important than his friends and selfish wants!
erinmomofone
by on Aug. 1, 2013 at 10:26 AM
He has one friend who is a father. They are pretty close but he doesn't go out as much. I dony Know he's great other wise but going out is taking a toll on me.


Quoting RachelBy:

He seems really scared :/ does he have any friends who are fathers? They may be able to have a heart to heart from a male perspective which might open his eyes. I'm not much help, my husban took to being a father very naturally and loves being a husband/father. I hope he is able to realize that your, and your children's needs are more important than his friends and selfish wants!

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Babybear89
by on Aug. 1, 2013 at 10:58 AM
Its rough but communication is key. You did good making him sit and talk
cemcnair
by on Aug. 1, 2013 at 11:37 AM
Like I said before, you were barely dating and bam-pregnant!!
He is not ready, he has not had time to process. Instant family when he's used to freedom.
Give him time, if he mans up, good, if not, move on.
It was good you talked, now give it time to sink in.
oscarsmom70
by on Aug. 1, 2013 at 11:38 AM

I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this.  I can only imagine the emotions you are feeling.

There are no briliant words of advice that I have for you that will fix this for you, but I do want to suggest a couple books that may be helpful.  One is Love Must be Tough by Dr. James Dobson and the other is Boundaries by Drs. Townsend and Cloud.  

Praying for you and your family!

Randi02
by on Aug. 1, 2013 at 2:08 PM

I agree!

Your child, the new baby (and you!) deserve better than that. If he can't be a man and clean up his act, he would be gone. Going out once in a while is fine, drinking every weekend with his friends is not.

Quoting cemcnair:

Like I said before, you were barely dating and bam-pregnant!!
He is not ready, he has not had time to process. Instant family when he's used to freedom.
Give him time, if he mans up, good, if not, move on.
It was good you talked, now give it time to sink in.


erinmomofone
by on Aug. 1, 2013 at 2:25 PM
Yeah I know i got bam-pregnant.

I am not going just move on He's the dad and I love him.


Quoting cemcnair:

Like I said before, you were barely dating and bam-pregnant!!

He is not ready, he has not had time to process. Instant family when he's used to freedom.

Give him time, if he mans up, good, if not, move on.

It was good you talked, now give it time to sink in.

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cemcnair
by on Aug. 1, 2013 at 2:34 PM
You barely know him!

Quoting erinmomofone:

Yeah I know i got bam-pregnant.



I am not going just move on He's the dad and I love him.




Quoting cemcnair:

Like I said before, you were barely dating and bam-pregnant!!


He is not ready, he has not had time to process. Instant family when he's used to freedom.


Give him time, if he mans up, good, if not, move on.


It was good you talked, now give it time to sink in.

cemcnair
by on Aug. 1, 2013 at 2:36 PM
2 moms liked this
I'm not saying this to be mean, Erin! But relationships take time. Your relationship is brand spanking new and you're expecting him to act like a long term committed guy. He hasn't gotten to that place in his life yet but was slapped in the face with it!
If he can't man up, then yeah, you have to move on. Don't waste your life chasing someone who doesn't want to be caught. It only hurts you and your kids.
mxcanapochamama
by on Aug. 1, 2013 at 3:33 PM

Im sorry to hear things arent going smooth in your life. But things will get better, just keep having those talks with him show him that he is needed in your life and your kids life. I think the previous comments are right it sounds like hes scared of change in his life, having him be more involve with Drs appts so he gets a bit use to it. But if all this doesnt work, even though its hard to hear.... You have to leave him :(  If  you dont it will just make your life a living hell,  you dont need a man that will bring you stress/anger/frustration and sadness. You need a man that will be your partner someone to help/love/cherish/ support you and your kids.  

MamìMexicana

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