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I really need some advice

Posted by on Nov. 2, 2013 at 11:15 AM
  • 74 Replies

I want to start out and say please no bashing, or mean comments. Im looking for some serious heart to heart advice. Im lost, and confused, and very scared. So this last week i have been very very sick. Throwing up every day. several times a day. So after a week of being sick i got tired of it and went to a clinic. Paid the 80$ and got checked. Turned out i had Gastroenteritis, so they put me on some antibiotics. But the Dr had heard how much i had been throwing up and wanted to do a pregnancy test. 


So before i go a little further. here is a small backstory. me and my fiance have been together going on 6 years now. we have a 3 yearold daughter that i had when i was only 17 that we decided to place up for adoption.  We didnt feel we were ready to be parents yet and thought that it was the best thing for our child. It is a open adoption. and my daughter knows exactly who i am. Birthmom. And she has a great life. she is very happy. and i wouldnt take that back for the world. 


Anyways. Now i am going on 20 years old and my fiance is 22. 


The Dr had did the pregnancy test, and told me to go sit down in the room with my hubby. so we sat down and she walked up to me and said "Congratulaions" and held out her hand to shake mine. I kind of plainly looked at her for a moment. and then began to sob. She applogized thinking she had done something wrong, and i told her it is okay 

we spent the day yesterday crying and talking.

i defintely do not think i can handle the emotions of loosing another child to adoption. 

But we are also very afraid if we dont go with abortion, his parents will kick us out and we would be homeless. 

I really want to keep the child. but both of his parents are alcoholics and i dont know if i want to raise my baby around that. My mind is churning every which way. and we dont know what to do. we will be finding out just how far along  i am next week. im just very confused and very scared. Please help :/


by on Nov. 2, 2013 at 11:15 AM
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Replies (1-10):
RJC78
by on Nov. 2, 2013 at 11:18 AM

Can you guys get your own place?  If you're not comfortable with adoption or abortion, don't do it. 

Kazmira222
by Bronze Member on Nov. 2, 2013 at 11:19 AM
You gotta do what you gotta do. If you guys seriously don't want a child, abortion is ok in my book. No reason to bring a child into a broken home. Unless you are completely ok with another adoption. Perhaps you need to look into a birth control method? Or stop having sex lol good luck.
jojo_star
by on Nov. 2, 2013 at 11:24 AM
Birth control, good birth control you can't forget to take would be a good investment after you are no longer pregnant. If you can't handle another adoptiom, don't. Abortion is a good option if you can't raise a child. But if you feel you can't handle an abortion either, figure out how you are going to afford and raise a child, amd if that is really the best thing for you. I have had an abortion, if you have any questions, but talking to a counselor at planned parenthood is your best bet.
MissSaraReneeYo
by on Nov. 2, 2013 at 11:40 AM

I was on birth control, and we use condoms. this was really just a freak thing. I know for a fact i cannot handle another adoption.  Even though my daughter is the happiest in the world. Its still very difficult.  and ive never had a abortion. the thought just scares me. I love this baby with all my heart. 

Quoting jojo_star:

Birth control, good birth control you can't forget to take would be a good investment after you are no longer pregnant. If you can't handle another adoptiom, don't. Abortion is a good option if you can't raise a child. But if you feel you can't handle an abortion either, figure out how you are going to afford and raise a child, amd if that is really the best thing for you. I have had an abortion, if you have any questions, but talking to a counselor at planned parenthood is your best bet.


MissSaraReneeYo
by on Nov. 2, 2013 at 11:41 AM

We are going to try and get our own place first before we consider the other 2 options.  Its just times are tough. My job barley pays my bills. but if i can find another. or he can. Then we may have some hope.

Quoting RJC78:

Can you guys get your own place?  If you're not comfortable with adoption or abortion, don't do it. 


MissSaraReneeYo
by on Nov. 2, 2013 at 11:42 AM

I was on birth control. untill i found out i was pregnant yesterday

Quoting Kazmira222:

You gotta do what you gotta do. If you guys seriously don't want a child, abortion is ok in my book. No reason to bring a child into a broken home. Unless you are completely ok with another adoption. Perhaps you need to look into a birth control method? Or stop having sex lol good luck.


RJC78
by on Nov. 2, 2013 at 11:50 AM

 I hope things work out for you guys.  I was 25 when I was surprised with an unexpected pregnancy.  The dad left because he didn't want to be a dad.  I decided to keep her and eleven years later, I have never regretted it.  It was scary, stressful and I was so worried I wouldn't be able to do it.  I have succeeded beyond what I thought possible.  I have faith that you can do it as well!


Quoting MissSaraReneeYo:

We are going to try and get our own place first before we consider the other 2 options.  Its just times are tough. My job barley pays my bills. but if i can find another. or he can. Then we may have some hope.

Quoting RJC78:

Can you guys get your own place?  If you're not comfortable with adoption or abortion, don't do it. 



 

MissSaraReneeYo
by on Nov. 2, 2013 at 11:54 AM

Thank you so much. That really means alot to me. To know i have people who have faith in me. and have done it as well for themselves. I have no family on my end. So it can get difficult not having any support. i understand.

Quoting RJC78:

 I hope things work out for you guys.  I was 25 when I was surprised with an unexpected pregnancy.  The dad left because he didn't want to be a dad.  I decided to keep her and eleven years later, I have never regretted it.  It was scary, stressful and I was so worried I wouldn't be able to do it.  I have succeeded beyond what I thought possible.  I have faith that you can do it as well!


Quoting MissSaraReneeYo:

We are going to try and get our own place first before we consider the other 2 options.  Its just times are tough. My job barley pays my bills. but if i can find another. or he can. Then we may have some hope.

Quoting RJC78:

Can you guys get your own place?  If you're not comfortable with adoption or abortion, don't do it. 





RJC78
by on Nov. 2, 2013 at 12:02 PM

 

You're very welcome! I cried nearly every day until she was born.  It is still far from easy.  But I know I have done what is right for both of us.  Abortion was never an option for me, and I did consider adoption.  I couldn't do it though.  A baby was the last thing I wanted at that time, but now I see it was exactly what I needed. 

Quoting MissSaraReneeYo:

Thank you so much. That really means alot to me. To know i have people who have faith in me. and have done it as well for themselves. I have no family on my end. So it can get difficult not having any support. i understand.

Quoting RJC78:

 I hope things work out for you guys.  I was 25 when I was surprised with an unexpected pregnancy.  The dad left because he didn't want to be a dad.  I decided to keep her and eleven years later, I have never regretted it.  It was scary, stressful and I was so worried I wouldn't be able to do it.  I have succeeded beyond what I thought possible.  I have faith that you can do it as well!

 

Quoting MissSaraReneeYo:

We are going to try and get our own place first before we consider the other 2 options.  Its just times are tough. My job barley pays my bills. but if i can find another. or he can. Then we may have some hope.

Quoting RJC78:

Can you guys get your own place?  If you're not comfortable with adoption or abortion, don't do it. 


 

 



 

MissSaraReneeYo
by on Nov. 2, 2013 at 12:19 PM

Adoption is a beautiful thing. but a very difficult thing. seeing my daughter call someone else mom hurts deeply. why i dont think i can do it again. And abortion has never been a option in my mind untill now. Idk im just very scared.

Quoting RJC78:


You're very welcome! I cried nearly every day until she was born.  It is still far from easy.  But I know I have done what is right for both of us.  Abortion was never an option for me, and I did consider adoption.  I couldn't do it though.  A baby was the last thing I wanted at that time, but now I see it was exactly what I needed. 

Quoting MissSaraReneeYo:

Thank you so much. That really means alot to me. To know i have people who have faith in me. and have done it as well for themselves. I have no family on my end. So it can get difficult not having any support. i understand.

Quoting RJC78:

 I hope things work out for you guys.  I was 25 when I was surprised with an unexpected pregnancy.  The dad left because he didn't want to be a dad.  I decided to keep her and eleven years later, I have never regretted it.  It was scary, stressful and I was so worried I wouldn't be able to do it.  I have succeeded beyond what I thought possible.  I have faith that you can do it as well!


Quoting MissSaraReneeYo:

We are going to try and get our own place first before we consider the other 2 options.  Its just times are tough. My job barley pays my bills. but if i can find another. or he can. Then we may have some hope.

Quoting RJC78:

Can you guys get your own place?  If you're not comfortable with adoption or abortion, don't do it. 








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