I want to start out and say please no bashing, or mean comments. Im looking for some serious heart to heart advice. Im lost, and confused, and very scared. So this last week i have been very very sick. Throwing up every day. several times a day. So after a week of being sick i got tired of it and went to a clinic. Paid the 80$ and got checked. Turned out i had Gastroenteritis, so they put me on some antibiotics. But the Dr had heard how much i had been throwing up and wanted to do a pregnancy test.
So before i go a little further. here is a small backstory. me and my fiance have been together going on 6 years now. we have a 3 yearold daughter that i had when i was only 17 that we decided to place up for adoption. We didnt feel we were ready to be parents yet and thought that it was the best thing for our child. It is a open adoption. and my daughter knows exactly who i am. Birthmom. And she has a great life. she is very happy. and i wouldnt take that back for the world.
Anyways. Now i am going on 20 years old and my fiance is 22.
The Dr had did the pregnancy test, and told me to go sit down in the room with my hubby. so we sat down and she walked up to me and said "Congratulaions" and held out her hand to shake mine. I kind of plainly looked at her for a moment. and then began to sob. She applogized thinking she had done something wrong, and i told her it is okay
we spent the day yesterday crying and talking.
i defintely do not think i can handle the emotions of loosing another child to adoption.
But we are also very afraid if we dont go with abortion, his parents will kick us out and we would be homeless.
I really want to keep the child. but both of his parents are alcoholics and i dont know if i want to raise my baby around that. My mind is churning every which way. and we dont know what to do. we will be finding out just how far along i am next week. im just very confused and very scared. Please help :/