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wish my life was different

Posted by on Apr. 15, 2014 at 8:57 AM
  • 11 Replies
I often find myself wishing my life was different. I wouldn't change my children, I would still have them but I would change the guy that fathered them.

I wish my mum was better and around for me more. I wish she would do the things mums are meant to do like give advice about guys, go shopping, help me with my kids and just generally be there for me more instead of always belittling me and putting me down like calling me a bad mum and calling me a slag cuz I'm going on a date quite soon after breaking up with my kids father.

by on Apr. 15, 2014 at 8:57 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Randi02
by Silver Member on Apr. 15, 2014 at 12:53 PM
1 mom liked this

Then MAKE the life you want.

Cut your mum out of your life. You don't NEED her to do those things. Find a good group of friends and spend time with them.

Is the father good to your children? Don't focus on that, unless he is good to them. Worry about being there for them. Set good examples, be consistent, and be there for them. Don't worry about dating right now - you need to get yourself together first.

cemcnair
by on Apr. 15, 2014 at 1:01 PM
I agree! You can only change you, not others and not the past. Focus on what you want for you and your children and go from there :)
Hugs!! Tomorrow will be kinder!


Quoting Randi02:

Then MAKE the life you want.

Cut your mum out of your life. You don't NEED her to do those things. Find a good group of friends and spend time with them.

Is the father good to your children? Don't focus on that, unless he is good to them. Worry about being there for them. Set good examples, be consistent, and be there for them. Don't worry about dating right now - you need to get yourself together first.

Randi02
by Silver Member on Apr. 15, 2014 at 1:11 PM

Exactly! I know it seems big while you're living it, but there comes a point where your past doesn't matter anymore. What other people have done to you, and all of the excuses you make, don't matter. You have to take responsibility for yourself and change the things you can control.

My mum is an alcoholic/drug addict and hasn't raised me since I was 7. I have had my kids longer than she had us! I had a lot of issues with trust etc. and I let ALL of that go once I had my oldest. I worried that I wouldn't be a good mother because I didn't have that example. I moved 18 hours away from my dad, and all of my good friends. I was completely on my own, other than my husband.

I love my life, even if it isn't perfect. I don't have a mum I can call when I have questions or need to vent - but I have a dad who loves me and tries his best. I have amazing friends that I meet at Starbucks almost daily to chat and let our kids play. I have a husband who loves me and our children.

Two of my siblings are hanging onto that anger, and they are becoming everything they hate about her. They have addictions and are following the exact same path. That is why it's so important to move on and focus on yourself and what you can change about your life!

Quoting cemcnair: I agree! You can only change you, not others and not the past. Focus on what you want for you and your children and go from there :) Hugs!! Tomorrow will be kinder!
Quoting Randi02:

Then MAKE the life you want.

Cut your mum out of your life. You don't NEED her to do those things. Find a good group of friends and spend time with them.

Is the father good to your children? Don't focus on that, unless he is good to them. Worry about being there for them. Set good examples, be consistent, and be there for them. Don't worry about dating right now - you need to get yourself together first.


youngmomma863
by on Apr. 15, 2014 at 2:32 PM
My friends tend not to come see me much since I had my two oldest and thier in school during the day, I can't go out at the weekends cuz I have my children (not that I mind). I guess I just feel like I'm missing out on stuff I could be doing at my age
cemcnair
by on Apr. 15, 2014 at 3:01 PM
What do you feel like you are missing?

Quoting youngmomma863: My friends tend not to come see me much since I had my two oldest and thier in school during the day, I can't go out at the weekends cuz I have my children (not that I mind). I guess I just feel like I'm missing out on stuff I could be doing at my age
wonderstruck11
by Allons-y on Apr. 15, 2014 at 5:01 PM

Nothing will change unless you make it change. If the father is being a dick, then tell him to get out of your life. If your mom doesn't want to help, then dont let her. Tell her that you have your own child now and she is not allowed to treat you like a child.

youngmomma863
by on Apr. 15, 2014 at 6:29 PM
Going out with friends, exams, college

Quoting cemcnair: What do you feel like you are missing?

Quoting youngmomma863: My friends tend not to come see me much since I had my two oldest and thier in school during the day, I can't go out at the weekends cuz I have my children (not that I mind). I guess I just feel like I'm missing out on stuff I could be doing at my age
sunshine86912
by Dawn on Apr. 16, 2014 at 5:33 AM

 wishing wont actually change anything though..so change what you can..move past what you cant :)

elegantnsassy
by on Apr. 16, 2014 at 9:16 AM

You have the power to change your life. Just like you everyday decide what clothes you want to wear or your kids to wear. YOU have the power to decide how your life turn out. I understand wishing you made better choices on the men you choose as fathers. I have two that don't do anything for mine, however my kids lack for nothing because I choose to make my life what it is right now.  The bible says that God will prepare a table before your eneimes. He will use them to be your footstool to take u higher than you can imagine but you have to be open and ready to receive. Leave the past in the past let nothing and no one bring you down.  Allow your life and dreams to like a room withouth a roof the sky is the limit and the only thing keeping you from the life you want for urself and ur kids are you.  

christinas_bell
by New Member on Apr. 18, 2014 at 12:08 AM

I know how you feel, I often feel like that. But this also encourages me to prove everyone wrong and make a good life for myself and my daughter.

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