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Is Sex Important to You?

Millennials Just Aren't Interested in Sex -- and Here's Why

Stephanie Booth

millennials not interested in sexWhen it comes to getting it on, apparently milliennials and iGens have better things to do. Okay, not necessarily better. Just OTHER things.

According to new research in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, today's twenty- and thirtysomethings are simply not into sex, and a lot of them aren't sleeping with other people, period. That's not an exaggeration -- researchers found that when those born in the '80s and '90s turned 18, they were likely to have a grand total of zero sexual partners.

And this shift toward "sexual inactivity" -- a depressing phrase right up there with "economy class" and "non-alcoholic beer" -- is more common in women.

So much for the "hookup generation."

If you're a conspiracy theorist, your mind is probably spinning right now. Is there something in the water turning us into asexual beings? Cell phone radiation? Kardashian overload? Have we been irrevocably scarred by the Great Recession?

CafeMom asked Paul Hokemeyer, PhD, JD, a licensed marriage and family therapist who practices in Los Angeles, New York, and Telluride, Colorado, to share his thoughts.

"This study shows that the social pendulum does indeed swing to extremes," he explains. "It's an overreaction to the sexual tsunami that defined the first wave of Internet dating."

Starting with prehistoric AOL chat rooms (remember those?) and ebbing with the hookup culture of Tinder and Grindr, Hokemeyer says that today's twenty- and thirtysomethings are "reacting against the intimacy-as-commodity culture that came before them."

Although abstaining from a romantic relationship might seem weird if you're Gen X or older, it's not necessarily a bad thing.

"I see this as a positive development," says Hokemeyer. "[Younger generations] are reclaiming their bodies and their sexuality as valuable assets to be protected and nurtured."

And there are some more interesting theories as to why millennials just don't crave carnality. The WaPost excavates some interesting theories:

  • It could be that young women are feeling more empowered to say no.
  • 24-7 access to online porn and airbrushed images have created unrealistic expectations. (Why sleep with anyone who doesn't look like Channing Tatum when you can just stare at pics of him online?)
  • Fear of violence. Date rape's part of the vernacular now.

It does make you wonder what the contemporary version of American Pie will look like, but we're sure Hollywood will figure out something.

How important is sex to you?

by on Aug. 17, 2016 at 7:27 PM
Replies (11-19):
rowek
by New Member on Jul. 14, 2017 at 10:34 PM

It is important in my marriage. But it isnt the most important thing in our marriage. 

Shree1990
by on Aug. 20, 2017 at 10:57 AM

I have to say that I agree. I thought I was crazy to not want it. But I know that I don't feel like it most times. And when I do, I really do. So I make it almost ritualistic, to play some music and drink some great wine and foreplay for hours before getting down to business. I stopped doing it like it was a routine and made it a whole lot fancier.

countrygirl1218
by Member on Oct. 25, 2017 at 1:22 PM

Yes, it's very important!

countrygirl1218
by Member on Oct. 25, 2017 at 1:24 PM


Quoting Mac17:

I just had sex for the first time in August and I got pregnant from it !

I do like to have sex!

How is your pregnancy going?  Is the father in your life?

babysmother
by New Member on Oct. 27, 2017 at 6:44 AM

Yes, It's important and I love having sex with my husband.

BMead1695
by New Member on Nov. 1, 2017 at 9:54 PM

I feel like it's important to me to keep me happy.

KCartair
by Member on Nov. 26, 2017 at 9:55 PM
Don’t really care for it. But most ppl that go a long time without it usually have attitudes
Chunksmom95
by on Nov. 29, 2017 at 6:42 PM

Being a single mom and haven't been dating since I was pregnant and after I had my child it has been awhile since the last time I had sex. Actually the last time was when I conceived. I enjoy sex but with a 14 month old baby it is practically impossible to go out on dates that are serious. So as for now I just deal with pleasing myself on my own.

Caitlin10081989
by on Dec. 11, 2017 at 7:46 PM

Yes, sex is important to me.

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