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Dealing with stepson

Posted by on Dec. 28, 2016 at 1:58 PM
  • 10 Replies

I met my husband with his 1year old, 

a year later we had our 1st daughter, 3 years later our second.

now his son is 9 my girls are 6 and 3.

It tough to build relationship between me and his son, 

due to his mom puts negative things in his head of his dad

and me.

My question is he has asked to go to a theme park alone 

with his son,

He asked for me and my daughters to not join them,

its all because he wants to reconnect with his son.

It hurts me because i feel like his excluding me and my girls.

I see it a different way, that i think we should all go as a family because

its no longer just them

by on Dec. 28, 2016 at 1:58 PM
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Replies (1-10):
KylersMom8-16-7
by Platinum Member on Dec. 28, 2016 at 4:39 PM
I'm sorry. This is why I couldn't be with someone with kids, the drama just isn't worth it. I hope you guys can come up with a good compromise.

As an outside party, I get why you're upset but at the same time I see where he's coming from wanting to have one on one time.
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BigMomma0502
by New Member on Dec. 28, 2016 at 7:35 PM

its so hard, and its to the point i dont know what to do,

i dont wanna be ok with it and for it to become a habit.

But i dont wanna feel any recentment coming from him towards me for not allowing it.

 

KylersMom8-16-7
by Platinum Member on Dec. 29, 2016 at 12:14 AM
Talk to him. That's his son. Do you ever do things with just your girls? There's nothing wrong with spending time with your child individually and he should be able to. It sounds almost like you're jealous but there's no reason to be.

I think you should step back and look at it from his perspective. Imagine you have a child with an ex and he is doing the same thing, how would you feel?

Quoting BigMomma0502:

its so hard, and its to the point i dont know what to do,

i dont wanna be ok with it and for it to become a habit.

But i dont wanna feel any recentment coming from him towards me for not allowing it.

 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
BigMomma0502
by New Member on Dec. 29, 2016 at 9:22 AM


Quoting KylersMom8-16-7: Talk to him. That's his son. Do you ever do things with just your girls? There's nothing wrong with spending time with your child individually and he should be able to. It sounds almost like you're jealous but there's no reason to be. I think you should step back and look at it from his perspective. Imagine you have a child with an ex and he is doing the same thing, how would you feel?



BigMomma0502
by New Member on Dec. 29, 2016 at 9:29 AM

I did talk to him, Thank you for the advice.

i told him ill be open minded about it. That if thats what he wants 

and needs , its not that im jealous its just that when it comes down to us and our girls

it never comes out of him to ever go out or do something fun . 

If it was up to him we would stay home everyday, and he gets hooked on the tv.

We do things because i suggest them.

i just pay attention to every little detail. Honestly no i dont ever try to do things alone with them unless his 

working and he cant really be there. But i try to always do everything and as much possible together.


happyonislands
by on Dec. 29, 2016 at 2:38 PM

Hello,

I understand your feelings.  My husband and I have blended our family; he has four daughters and I have three daughters.  Currently, he visited the daughters for the Christmas holiday without me or my daughters.  I believe it was a good idea for him to connect with his daughters because it has been a long time since he has seen them in person.   However, have you talked to your husband about how you feel or the reason why he wanted to be alone with the son?  Maybe he wanted to talk to him about “male issues”?  I’m looking from a different perspective, but talk to your husband.  Communication is the key.

I wish you and your family the very best

BigMomma0502
by New Member on Dec. 29, 2016 at 3:25 PM

His son lives like 5 minutes away from us.

We see him maybe once twice a week,  on regular basis.

and right now with holidays and vacations more often.

I understand if he would live far, or if we wouldnt see him as often.

But i think he should consider that his sisters need to be around aswell . 

And me aswell since thats where the trouble is, his mom refuses 

for him to get along with me. And it just becomes challenging for me to 

accomplish that relationship between me and his son. 





mommy6232011
by Member on Dec. 31, 2016 at 10:06 AM
I wouldn't agree with the theme park thats a family thing in my opinion. One on one time for them is a good idea though maybe they could go see a novie or something like that.
MommyLyssaa2
by New Member on Jan. 2, 2017 at 5:20 AM
I think it's all about balance. Let them have a boys day, then have family dinner when they get home. Let them go to a movie, then meet up with them for lunch after. Or you all go to the theme park and do a few games together, then they go to the big kid rides and you go to the littles section. Balance is key.
Julie9999
by New Member on Jan. 12, 2017 at 3:46 PM
Let them have son "guy time" and take the opportunity to do something with the girls. Its not about excluding you.
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