okay so going out there a few times after having my son hasn't been successful, but ready again to try. i can't get out much, and when i try i feel like it's a waste of time to find someone in a bar, they're all cocky jerks. but thats not my question, my question is do you think holding back from saying i have a child is bad? i mean i dont want to scare guys off again by saying im a mom, I dont want a guy to feel like hes under pressure to be a father figure or get serious with me quickly. I also dont want to be considered an easy lay if i decide to tell a guy i have a child, thats happened to me once already. any advice to meeting guys and what to do when i start dating????
Posted by
on Jul. 12, 2007 at 9:17 PM
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by
on Jul. 12, 2007 at 9:22 PM
It wouldnt be one of the first things I would say to a guy. I would just get out there & let them get to kno you...if you think you wanna go further with this person & try to make something outta it then I would then tell him you have a child cuz you dont want to make it so that they feel you're trying to hide it. If they bring it up & ask you first, go ahead & tell them...dont lie about it & how they react is how they react i guess. You're gonna want sumone who is comfortable with the fact that you have a child. Hope I was of sum help. Good luck!
by
on Jul. 12, 2007 at 9:23 PM
I have this same issue as well...I am ready to date again, but have no idea where to start. I do think however that you should NOT hold back on the fact that you are a mother. I mean, don't just throw it out there right as you're introducing yourself, "Hey hotstuff, I'm a mom, wanna buy me a drink?" haha you know what I mean. But during the conversation, throw something in there like "Oh I love taking my son out for walks" or something of the sort. If he freaks, the he's not the type of person you want to be dating anyway. And if he sticks around, make it known after you two go on a couple dates that you aren't wanting him to be an Insta-Daddy. As far as when the "right" time is, I think it is different for everyone. If you feel ready for dating, go for it! If you're still a little uneasy about it, just ease into things. Best of luck from one wanna-be-dater to another! lol.
by
on Jul. 12, 2007 at 9:25 PM
you know honestly, i can see why you'd want to not come out with it right away... and really the way I see it, it's only on a need to know basis. go out, have a good time- you don't have to be like hey i have a kid, want to get a drink. just enjoy yourself! if it takes a step forward, then you can tell the guy... but if nothing serious is coming out of things initially, then there's no reason to put your info out like that
by
on Jul. 12, 2007 at 9:27 PM
Quoting JandK:hahaha, you and i made the same point! it's true though, don't throw it out there, because it's only an imperative piece of information if it evolves into something
I have this same issue as well...I am ready to date again, but have no idea where to start. I do think however that you should NOT hold back on the fact that you are a mother. I mean, don't just throw it out there right as you're introducing yourself, "Hey hotstuff, I'm a mom, wanna buy me a drink?" haha you know what I mean. But during the conversation, throw something in there like "Oh I love taking my son out for walks" or something of the sort. If he freaks, the he's not the type of person you want to be dating anyway. And if he sticks around, make it known after you two go on a couple dates that you aren't wanting him to be an Insta-Daddy. As far as when the "right" time is, I think it is different for everyone. If you feel ready for dating, go for it! If you're still a little uneasy about it, just ease into things. Best of luck from one wanna-be-dater to another! lol.
by
on Jul. 12, 2007 at 9:27 PM
well me personally, i started dating when my son was about 2 months old. My current b/f who ive been with since my son was two months old was someone i worked with so he did know i was pregnant and he had a crush on me anyway.We knew each other previously because we worked together. We went kinda fast though but i always let him know he had no obligation to my son but eventually he fell in love with him. I think u have to let them know because a baby is kind of a big surprise but their r guys out their who like children. Bars may not be the best place to find them but they r out there. Dont sleep with someone just because u have a child just take it slow and make sure they're there for u. Thats what the relationship is about u and the guy. Its hard because my son took up all my time but if the guy is understanding,as he should be, it shouldnt be a problem. Find a guy whos lookin for a woman not a girl. Let them know from the gate, or thats what i think, that not really something u can jus let someone find out. Be upfront about it, ur not ashamed of it so dont hide it and if he dont like it fuck em. (but not literally) not too soon.
1-6 of 6 replies
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How far along were you when you realized you were pregnant?
- aijersey04
on Jul. 12, 2007 at 9:17 PM