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super long but super important (posted in another group)

Posted by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 3:49 AM
  • 5 Replies

So not to offend any of the moms reading this but why are so many moms so psychotic with their childs dads? I obviously have never been a single mom thank god but it seems as though every woman I know who is seperated from their childs father makes it their goal in life to make them miserable? I have friends who are so mean and so wrong to their kids dads when the dads dont do anything but try to spend time with their kids...and then the real problem and the real reason I am writing this is because my fiance's sons mother is CERTIFIABLY CRAZY!!! I dont know what to do about her, here is our situation...

First of all Kevin has always done whatever it took to see his son, he lets his kids mom cuss him out and he just bites his tongue, she constantly calls him yelling and putting him down and saying he is a terrible father and he just kills her with kindness... On top of that she moved to Kansas from california but just to keep the peace has has kept payin her the california child support when the courts told him to file in Kansas so he could pay her less because of the cost of living difference. He still pays her the ammount as though she lived in Cali

My stepson lives with his mom in Kansas, we are in california. She took him out there when she found out I was pregnant, did not like the fact that she was no longer the only mother of his child. So we faught her in court to try to get him more visitations because she was only offering a total of 3 weeks out of the year which is ridiculous when the child is used to seeing his father EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND AND TUESDAYS AND THURSDAYS. In working with the courts we were advised to file contempt charges against her because she has moved with the child 8 times in one year and never kept us updated with addresses or employers or anythign like their original court order required, so we did and she now must go to criminal court for trying to keep him from his dad... (she has lied to us about her address multiple times to prevent Kevin from finding his son.) While waiting for the second court date to set the official custody order ( a temporary one was set so she could move) Kevin tried to be nice to her and even offered to drop the contempt charges under the circumstances that she learn to be more civil to us. That she learn to respect me (I have always been super nice to her even though I DESPISE HER) and that she stop using alex as a weapon and agree to the custody order that he proposed. Well she did and things were good for about 2 months, she was even nice to me which we thought would never happen. Well the whole time we were getting along she promised to drop alex off the sunday before the next court date. So she flies out with him and says after they go to the zoo with her mom she will drop him off, she called on her way to get directions and asked kevin if he was going to give her child support, (they had discussed it and he said he would not since alex would be with us for the whole month) So she FLIPPED OUT and refused to bring alex by until after court the next day and she only did then because the judge told her that if she didnt that we could call the police and have her arrested for kidnapping. So for this summer Kevin was ordered 3 weeks plus 1 day and it goes up each summer. So yesterday she asked kevin if her mom could take alex to lunch (her mom is flying back to kansas with him) Kevin said that he had plans with alex for the rest of the week and that her mom could see him monday night when the visit end and she picks him up... He was super nice about it apologized and explained that this time was ordered for him and his son to be together and no his son and her mom and that since he gets him so rarely that he would like to take advantage of the time he has. Well than she texts ME saying "you need to remind kevin that my mom is getting him sunday at 5pm and NOT monday like he seems to think." Well kevin said no way, that he was keeping his son the duration of the visit like ordered and she kept texting back saying if we did not send him hom sunday she would file kidnapping charges and she was texting me the whole time and not kevin, then she would say stop texting me I dont want to deal with you and then 2 minutes later would text me back... Then she texted me saying she just got off the phone with kevin and he told her that I was just trying to cause trouble and that he was saving up his money to leave me and that he only was using me for my aunt who is a lawyer and all this shit so I asked him and he said no so just to double check I looked at our online phone records that give an up to the minute report of all calls and there was NO CALL at all...This crazy bitch is just trying to piss me off... So then i just say ok stop with the text messages if you want to discuss this further call the police and discuss it with them and I send her an email that is really respectful just explaining that we really wished she would stop trying to keep kevin from alex and that alex needs his dad and that were trying to be civil but she makes it really hard when she is constantly calling him and I talking shit and leaving nasty text messages. Well she emailed back saying all this shit about what a piece of shit father kevin is and how she has to beg him to see his son and how she is sick of us threatening and harrassing her (we NEVER call her and rarely answer her calls, we only have been recentlyl because we have to let her talk to alex) and then she says stop contacting me, my mom will be by to get alex on sunday I expect his bags to be packed and ready and if they arent expect a visit from the police. So I just sent a message saying whatever, this crap needs to stop because its getting us nowhree and that if the police show up at my doorstep that i would have no choice but to file charges against her for filing a false police report because I dont think  any child should have to see a policeman show up at the door asking to speak to his daddy... then she sends me this....

STOP CONTACTING ME...DO YOU UNDERSTAND BRE!! STOP CONTACTING ME!! I HAVE MY PHONE RECORDS AS WELL AND HAVE PROOF AS WELL KEVIN AND I DID TALK AT 1:17 PM FOR 2 MIN AND 01 SEC.. SO STOP! I am not putting your relationship down if that is how you see than so be it Bre! WHAT  DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ABOUT NOT CONTACTING ME? BUT STOP CONTACTING ME!!!!!! YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY GETTING VERY EMOTIONAL AND I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE CONTACT WITH YOU AS LONG AS YOU ARE ACTING LIKE THIS!! So again respectfully stop contacting me! You are obviously emotional and children do since that and act upon it so for my sons sake and your daughters calm down! and STOP contacting me ok!

Ya are you kidding me, this is the crazy bitch that sent me 50 text messages in an hour and she wants me to stop contacting her? So fed up at this point I responded with this...

oh gladly, but dont ever tell me what to do for MY DAUGHTERS SAKE the day you know whats best for my daughter will be a cold day in hell, I dont tell you what to do for your son though you obviously need it so just stop...please contact the temecula police department from now on regarding this matter, the number is 951-506-4108

and then just as I am writing this journal this is what I got...

The police department will be who i go through from now on!    i  do have a copy of the text message I sent you stating..from this point forward everything shall be resolved in court..I am not going to play these games any longer! I have saved all of these messages and emails.. and am in full effect to resolve the harassment! Bre I have had enough!! I believe I have said it on numerous occasions! Today for that matter!! I have not been able to sleep! I am very concerned for Alex's well being! It is obvious to me that you are the irrational one out of this relationship and you are hurting no one but Kevin and his sons relationship! So if you cant out of respect for the children..maybe for Kevin..STOP CONTACTING ME! AND STOP WITH THE MOTHERING ISSUES! I will not and Do not have to explain to a child as of yourself who is just beginning mother hood about who is a better mother..I dont believe you are bad mother! Never have I put you down..maybe just un experienced! And  confused! Again....Bre! I will talk to Kevin resolving this matter! But I do hope in the future you can grow as a mother as I have allowed Kevin to grow as a father! I have been very patient with him and i am sure he knows that! But AGAIN NEVER will take his son from him!! Maybe Not feel as thou you are fit to watch him...but hopefully you can show me different! I would love for Alex to have a wonderful step mother who has morals and is devoted to God! And I hope his father will continue to try his hardest..for it is Alex he is depriving when he chooses not to support his son! Money...has never been an issue I have offered Kevin to forget about child support for i do not want the stress in our lives! But he continues to believe he can proceed in doing so...AND I will never take Alex from him in the process!! i RESPECT THE FACT THAT KEVIN IS HIS DAD! but i do not respect the fact that he chose such a trash of a life style in the past and maybe with what he has now! So respectfully again Bre....STOP CONTACTING ME! THIS WILL BE THE LAST MESSAGE YOU WILL RECEIVE FROM ME! I am so devoted to Kevin and my son and me building some kind of relationship,,but i need for him to be honest with me! i do feel that you are a huge influence on Kevin and maybe a good one for him..but not a healthy one for our son!  Thank you for the police phone number it will be used wisely....and if i feel that you are continuing the harassment I will have no other option than to proceed with what I feel necessary for not only my well being but for my sons! I just pray you give Alex the respect he deserves for the next week..He does not need to have your drama in his life! His father on the other hand is his father regardless! And whether you like it or not BRE Kevin and I will talk and will have to communicate until Alex is 18 yrs old. I apologize if this is inconvenient for you..but its life hun!  You chose a guy who had a child and I hope you would support him supporting his child! But I am not involved with you in any way! and dont care to be!  So mind your own business! And sit tight...Kevin I am sure at his age can figure out who is more important..supporting his son or his...... gal!
You are perfectly capable of working...I did and did not have an easy birth...so on that note...goodnight! Have a wonderful day tomorrow! I will be calling my son some time tomorrow! AND am expecting the info I asked along with who is spending time with Alex.  The court appointed 3 weeks was to be with his father not with a young babysitter I do not approve of! And i will stress this as long as needed! Goodnight! and have a great day tomorrow...and remember Alex is a wonderful joy in this world, created by God himself...and deserves nothing but love and sincerity!

Wow she has a lot of fucking nerves... in case those of you who dont know, let me explain, this is the good experienced mother who has let her sons teeth rot out of his fucking skull to the point that they are falling out in chunks and he screams in pain everytime he has to eat a meal, but yet she sends him to our house drinking drinks with more than 50 grams of sugar per serving!!! (we keep absolutely no sugar or products with sugar in our home period) And this is the same mother who gives her child adult strength sleeping pills!!! But she has the nerve to call me immature and say I am inexperienced and young??? Same woman who would rather live on welfare  than get a job (nothing against welfar but if you are perfectly capable of working than do so). I have lved on my own since I was 16, I have already owned and sold my first home and am a full time college student as well as a full time mom... So as for young and immature? Ya then she posts this bulletin on myspace...

I have a phyco stalker!!!!!! She is nutts you guys!!!
QUESTION.......
What would all of you do if you asked someone on lets see about 10 occasions in one day to stop contacting you???
     

I am just wondering, do people like this believe the lies that they tell? Does she actually believe that I am stalking her or that she has asked me not to contact her but I keep doing it, ya i did respond to the one email but that is because she brought my daughter into it... I have ignored her since like noon today after we went to the police department with copies of the custody order to show them that she is going to try to file a false police report. Plus even today with all the fucked up messages she was sendig me, I wsa still super nice and respectful because I know better and that anything I say can be used against him in court... I dont know what to do, this shit is getting on my nerves and I love kevin to death but I dont think i can deal with this crazy bitch for another 14 years... i really dont have the energy for it and i dont think its fair to subject our daughter to her craziness... What am I supposed to do? And we did check with the police and there is nothing we can really do about it except wait for her to file a false report and then press charges...



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by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 3:49 AM
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Steph839
by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 4:03 AM

PLease tell me you have ALL copies of the text meassages too. B/c it is VERY her word against your guys.  Let me tell you i have seen this type of behavior 1st hand. My father was married to my brothers mother of a short while, he was 3 weeks old when they devorced...he was almost 2 before we got to see him again. Then things were fine for a while and she let him come when my dad had vistataion with my sister and i, every weekend. Then he moved 2 hours away (mind you on the weekends he had us-which was everyother weekend at that- he drove the 2 hours to pick us up and the 2 hours back- so a total of 8 hours for him each weekend he had us- even though court said he really only had to go half way) things were fine at first, then she started making plans for him on the weekends my dad had him. Then it was "he didnt want to come".. many court dates...may cop calls... turned out that his mother told him my dad would kidnapp him... my dad even had to go to counciling with him. Then my dad moved to FL and that was the last time i seen my little brother. He would not return my dads phone calls. He will not  even return my sister and i, b/c he thinks "we only want to talk to him , so my dad can talk to him" NO DOUBT his ASS of a mother put that in his head , allong with ALL the other SH*T. Who knows what she has said about him or even about us. He has never seen my daughter, his own niece. It has been almost 5 1/2 years. You think people would GROW up for the sake of there kids... some people DONT.. So just keep that in mind.... AND DO NOT GIVE UP... AS SOON AS YOU DO....EVEN AS TIRING AS IT WILL BE...SHE WINS....

Steph839
by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 4:05 AM
by the way the text messages... if you have proof of all the text messages that she sent you first.. then it just disproves her story... she is JUST playing a game TO MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE THE BAD ONE... if she sends you another one ignore it and SAVE EVERYTHING.
wechee
by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 4:18 AM
she is right you know. save everything. ppl flip out when they see their exes move on and having new relationships and other kids. obviously that one did not get thw message. sorry for your troubles. all love and prayers to you and yours.
Quoting Steph839:

by the way the text messages... if you have proof of all the text messages that she sent you first.. then it just disproves her story... she is JUST playing a game TO MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE THE BAD ONE... if she sends you another one ignore it and SAVE EVERYTHING.



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Aidens_Mommy311
by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 10:09 AM
Yeah so I agree that you should keep everything but I think you are missing something that is very important. I am not trying to be mean but here it is: You are a fiancee. You came after their child was born and you are in no way related to any of them, yet. This is something that you need to let your fiancee and his ex work out. Dont worry about double checkin on your man, if you trust and love him there is no need to listen to anything a jealous vindictive woman has to say. Plus you are a mother and all of the time that you are wasting worried and upset over this whole situation could be better spent just looking at your daughter and how beautiful she is. You need to let them work this out and just take a step back. Listen to your fiancee when he vents, give him support and love and just take a step back. I know it is hard, every woman wants to stand by their man and defend him when another woman comes around the corner being all nasty to him, but my advice is to just step off and let sleeping dogs lie. Change yourself phone number if she keeps texting you. If you dont want to, realize who they are from andjust delete them! You dont need that hateful garbage in your life. Make an effort to axe this woman out or YOUR PERSONAL day to day living. Let things be and support your man. I have many a friend who is divorced and they all seem to say the same thing when a new woman comes into the situation : "I cant wait until she tries to stick her nose in because I am going to tell her to back off! This is between my kids and me and their daddy!" Sorry if it was mean.......I just thought you should know
kloesmommy
by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 11:06 AM
Of course we save EVERYTHING... And we never return her calls or texts when we dont have alex, we let her leave messages and if there is an emergency (like when his 2 front teeth shattered) then we callback, but its in the court order that we cant igrore her texts or phone calls while he is here (ya she actually made that an issue in court) And she never ccalls Kevin and when he tries to discuss all this with her she refuses. She wants to attack me, I told her in damn near every text yesterday "why dont you discuss this with kevin, why dont you just text him" She is just plain crazy,

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