Children in church

[katsgilkes]

 

My mother-in-law is always insisting that our son who is three is dx PDD NOS sit in church on Sundays and not taken outside until Junior church begins.  She says that if we try he will sit there quietly and we will be surprised at how well he might behave.  We have tried this several times but he just wriggles, use his feet to get into the pew infront of us and tries to escape by going under it as well.  Persons who sit in front of us always gives us the look as if we have not trained him well but the fact is he is very figety.  I sometimes get tired of having to explain to my mother in law that he  is just different and I feel as though she lives in her world where she believes tha there is nothing wrong with him and doesn't want to accept the truth.  When we go to a restaurant and he starts being really noisy and stuff it is my husband and I who have to deal with him while she and her husband enjoy their meal.  I just wish for once that she would accept the fact that he is on the Autism Spectrum and be more understanding to the challenges we have to  deal with as parents.

[Mom2kyky]

Our church has a special needs program and each special needs child has a volunteer who shadows them throughout everything. Our church must be different anyway though, because I don't understand what you meant by "hold him outside until children's church begins"... our children each go to a sunday school class

[katsgilkes]

Our children stay in church until the offering is taken and then they go to Junior church where they received  the word simplified for them.  Sunday school is held after church.  Our son doesn't like sitting in church so either my husband our I would stay outside with him until Junior church begins.  Where we are in the Caribbean our church's are more open and not enclosed like North American churches so we take them outside if they become restless so they don't disrupt the service. 

[berowles]

I agree with you that he shouldn't have to sit.  Have you tried finding information on your son's diagnosis and giving it to your MIL to read?  If she still doesn't get it, I would just do what you and your husband think is best for your son.  I have had to deal w/my husband's family not understanding as well.  But when they saw my son "in action" one time they finally got it.  I firmly believe that you need to do what is best for your child and if other people don't agree than that is their problem.  I don't try and please other people, especially when it comes to my sons.

[willysmama]

My husbands family doesn't realize the situation we have with our son either. But our church has sunday school before church begins but we have the option of putting our kid in the nursery during mass.

[by-gods-grace]

it's very frustrating when others think they know what's best for our kids.  all you can do is educate your MIL and hope she understands.  she may never do so, there is no one more blind than he that does not wish to see...  my son is 6, he still has a problem sitting in church,,, i sit towards the back and he is in constant mvement, on the bench, the floor, goes to the back, comes back... i try to keep him quite...but it always doesnt work... he goes to the nursery but wont stay there.  i bring him everything and anything i can think of to keep him busy.  i suggest you let your mother in law watch him on a sunday.  let her try to keep him sitting straight and quietly.  she will learn about over stimulation, stimming, sensory needs, and the spectrum really quickly.

trust your instincts... you are doing the right thing

[Mom2kyky]

I understand what you are talking about, now... there are some churches around here that have the children sit in the church service with everyone else.  At the church we attend, children have their own church service separate from the adult service and then they go to sunday school class. Our church has a wonderful special needs program at it. There are volunteers that follow each special needs child to every activity and if the child needs extra attention or needs to be outside of a group setting, then the volunteer or "buddy" as they call them can take them to a serarate room and help the child understand the lesson in different ways! I just love this program and wish all churches could have the same thing!! It is wonderful for the children!! Maybe you could discuss with your pastor about starting a special program for children like your child, or maybe see if you could share your testimony of what it is like raising your child and raise some awareness within your church about his condition.... maybe that way when you do things a little differently with him, then everyone will understand why and maybe be more willing to help you out. :) good luck!