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Fears

Posted by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 9:31 PM
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How do you decide whether or not to hsve more children after you have had a child with special needs?

I always wanted children, at least 2 or 3. Then My daughter was diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis. This for anyone who is unaware is a genetic disorder that if both parents are carriers they have a 25 percent chance of having a child with CF. That in itself made doubt whether or not we should have another baby. But I want another baby so bad. Then I read all these statistics about miscarriages and stillbirths. They are so common. Its a scary thought. I have never lost a baby, but we came close. When my daughter was 6 months old she was put in the hospital for a week. She had swelling on her brain and all kinds of crazy things going on. Some crazy infection like meongitis or something. But she got better. I cant imagine what i would have done if she hadnt survived that. I just think of the crazy possibilities. And I know anything could happen. but I also know that someone or something was watching over her. And God would never give us something we couldnt handle. So i am left weighing the pros and cons of having another baby.....

by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 9:31 PM
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Evana
by on Jul. 9, 2011 at 1:41 PM

I think it's a normal thing to fear about the health and future of more children.  I always wanted 2 or 3.  I was given a 1% chance of having another kid with DS so my chances aren't near as much as yours.  I think that makes it tricky.  

I finally mustered up enough strength to have another baby.   It took us 6 or 7 months before we concieved.  I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks so that sucked.  It made me feel even more awful about my abilities to have a healthy child.  We quickly got pregnant again because the doc said I just had a lot of bad luck but there was nothing wrong.  My healthy, typical son is now almost 2.  He's great!  But, I'm done having kids because my daughter's health needs are too much.  Everyone needs to know how much they can handle.  I know 2 is all I can handle. 

sassymomntx1961
by Group Admin on Jul. 11, 2011 at 12:44 AM
have you thought about adoption as an option since you are still wanting more kids?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
hlbhembree
by Member on Aug. 24, 2011 at 6:48 PM

Trust God he does not give us more than we can handle!  He gives us special kids for a special purpose.  My aunt had on daughter with CF and then her second daughter is perfectly healthy.  That being said I knew that I was a carrier since I was a child but we could not afford the testing for DH so we were worried for a while when we found out we were pregnant so I do understand that anxiety to some extent.

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