Hi all! I am writing a book and possibly a workbook for churches to help them better accept and work with special needs children and their families. We've all heard horror stories about the bad situations in some churches, turning special needs families away because they are simply not prepared. I need your stories of bad experiences and good experiences at churches in your area. I will use them to further illustrate my book. Can you help me? Be as descriptive as possible. It may be a long response from you, but that's okay! I need you, ladies!
Thanks, Shari Ewing
Good expeirence: The church I'm at now is great at accepting my daughter with special needs. Before I put her in the class for the first time, I talked with the teachers to make sure they would be prepared for her. Because she is nonverbal and needs help with the bathroom, I recognized that people wouldn't automatically know what to do with her. I think that's an important thing, that parents don't just drop their kids off and expect the church workers to know what to do. Open communication and working together is essential so everyone is comfortable.
Bad experience: I don't know if this is what you are looking for but.. The most annoying thing I have ran into with my daughter and the church is that she was on the prayer list for the first year or more of her life. Jaycee did have health issues but after they resolved, her name was never taken off the list. Even though she had Down syndrome, her disability did not mean to me that she needed to be on the prayer list indefinetly. It made me feel like people saw her as incomplete and of something that needed fixed. It was eventually taken off after I requested it.
1 thing that got me a lil upset was 1 wed nightthey were playing a game that went w/ the story they studied that night and dd got upset and started to have a meltdown.Our pastor was in charge of the game.They came and got me and he told her in front of me she would get a treat when everyone else did cause of her loosing control.Before they got that part of the night we went ahead and went home so she wouldnt get upset.Other then that Ive got a great Church family to lean on.They would help me by giving her a shadow in either sunday school class or have 1 of the other girls in her wed night class to sit w/ her to help her stay calm.Seveal yrs she had a shadow for vbs.Each yr the last few yrs she has been getting small parts in the Christmas program thats not to much to get her feeling overwhelm but enough to help her feel good about herself.
GOD first ppl next things last you cant go wrong and w/ GOD and JESUS around you,you will be a a triple strand rope
We've had a WONDERFUL response from our church family. We had meals brought in after my daughter was born (she was in the NICU for 31 days), people came to help with my daughter and housework, they have been nothing but great! I can't imagine having to move or change churches for any reason.
The only bad thing is sometimes people don't know what to say so they just stare. More outside the church than not, but we have gotten some looks, but like someone else said, people don't always know what to say. I just smile and sometimes say hi if they're close enough. That either starts the conversation or they walk away.
I miss our old church because they were very accommodating. All our children have severe nut and egg allergies and our old church would list their allergies in a log, ensure all volunteers were aware of the allergies and would not bring in any snacks that contained these allergens. The church was even going to get a nurse to volunteer in my son's Sunday school room because he needs constant skilled medical attention. We had to leave this church due to scheduling conflicts... Very sad.
A new church we tried made us run for the door. They told us straight out that our children, esp Caleb due to his outbursts, were not welcome in Sunday services. When we checked on their children's programs we were told they would not go out of their way to accommodate for the nut allergies and we could either come remove our child at snack time or let them be involved on days in which snack was not served. It was OUTRAGEOUS!!!
Lainie
Wow. I cannot imagine things like that happening. When the disciples tried to prevent the children from coming to Him, Jesus got upset and said "Let the children come to me. Do not hinder them" He created our children as they are. He created them special and still in His image. If accommodations are necessary, then accommodations should be made. Nobody has the right to turn away a child from God.
Check out some of the top posts today in Groups:
Counting It A Privilege (caution: you are entering a transparent zone!)
- sharimomma3
on Dec. 30, 2011 at 12:32 PM