well I preach to NEVER pass judgement on other people, to never bash or belittle, to offer advice, and to always respect eachother. I think this applies DOUBLE for mothers- as we face the most difficult job there is. Raising and shaping our children to be successful, good people; To do unto others as we would have others do unto us; to be respectful; intelligent; hard-working; and most importantly to be happy in their choices.
I knew the kind of mother I WANTED to be- but in just one short year, I learned that the kind of mother i wanted to be, and the kind of mother I AM- turned out to be very different things.
I wanted nothing more than to breastfeed- and I tried, and I cried and I felt like a failure when between my health and complications I ended up supplementing formula- and ultimately, FF my son.
I wanted for him to sleep in his crib. I thought independence was best learned early, I believe in private sleeping places (in fact, I will often sleep on the couch when I'm feeling anxious- sleeping alone clears my head for some reason). And it went great, until my son turn 10 months old, I found myself trading principals for a few more hours of sleep. And just today it hit me!
What is my 1 yr old little boy supposed to think when mommy and daddy spend all day away from him, only to spend a few measly hours with him before putting him in a dark room all alone?? He's not a bad sleeper, he's not manipulating us- he misses us, he wants to be close to mom and dad.
In fact, there a hundreds of examples of how what I wanted didn't turn out right at all. And I bashed MYSELF- I felt like I couldn't succeed where everyone else has has nothing but success. I was my own harshest critic. But my son is beautiful. He is so happy.
So somehow, I still feel like i'm doing the best job I can- I feel like a good mom (even if not all the time).
So why do we all sit around bashing, berating, or judging others when we've probably made choices we never thought we'd agree with?? When what works and what is best are not always what we want- isn't our own heartache enough?
WE'RE ALL DIFFERENT, AND SO ARE OUR CHILDREN. REAGRDLESS, ONLY A MOTHER TRULY KNOWS WHAT'S BEST... www.cafemom.com/group/bestforbaby-
BECAUSE THERE ISN'T JUST ONE WAY TO BE A GREAT MOM