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Motherhood

Posted by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 8:47 PM
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Let me start by saying since Jan my husband has been working doubles, and staying the week out of town to sleep at his moms,there's no reason to drive 45min each way that would only leave him with 4-5 hours at home to sleep.  So Monday-Friday it feels like I am single mom.  We don't have many friends and the only people I do see is my neighbor and her 6 year old daughter and a friend from work and I watch her 8 month old son two days a week. 

So enough of the back story.  My husband tells me today how he thinks Chloe is really behind.  Chloe is 20 months old, she says a few works, maybe 10. She doesn't usually say much except "up "when she wants up somewhere.  She is a happy little girl and her needs are always met.  Well hubby says he was talking with people at work who's kids are far more advanced. One has a child Chloe's age and when they picked him up at daycare they sat down with a 6 month old.Their child ran to them and said, no she's my mommy.  He also told me other stories. 

So what I am to think? Am I raising her wrong? Is she just slow? She knows what lots of words mean and I hope that she just doesn't feel the need to communicate because I know what she needs and always fulfills them.  I wish I could ask my mom if I was a slow talker. All of my childhood that I don't remember is gone, my dad wasn't around much when I was little.  Grr. I can't help but take it personally when my husband brought it up. It hurts me because being a mom is who I am, it's what I always wanted to be. Ever since I could remember, whenever someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up I would always answer to be a mom just like my mom.  I just miss my mom so much right now.  It is bad enough mil makes comments about how chloe is slow and compares her to everyone else.  No one has ever said "Morgan you are doing a great job." I bf Chloe till she decided when she was ready, 16 months, she's never been sick with more then a runny nose, and she has slept through the night since she was 2 months old. 

My mom was so excited when she found out I was having a girl, she has so many dreams, and tried to fight the cancer but lost.  All I want is my mom to be proud and supportive.  I keep on telling myself that she is with me everyday smiling and laughing with Chloe.  She is probably bragging to everyone up there.  That is what is making my tears go away right now and bringing me some comfort. 

Thanks for letting me vent. I don't know what I would do without all of you.

by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 8:47 PM
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Replies (1-4):
Bearsjen
by Group Admin on Feb. 20, 2010 at 9:37 PM

 first of all anyone who looks you in the face and has the balls, sorry but i am super PISSED for you, and tell you your child is slow? they need a smak in the face. and yeah that includes hubby. here is why she isnt talking, y ou answered it yourself, you meet her needs so she doesnt ask.a nd that is so so common! not just with single moms, but children with older siblings because they "interpret" for the child. my ex hubby? well his  mom had to stop his older bro from talking for him, so my ex would speak. he could he just never had to. so how about you tell THAT to hubby"well as a single mom I know her so well i do it before she asks"so she doesnt speak cuz I meet her EVERY need, try it sometime"

 let him feel the sting of that single mom statement. jeesh who in their right mind says to anyone"hey your kid is slow or behind"? let alone family who are supposed to love you?

jerks, lol sorry but i am so so mad Morgan, thats just rude, and honestly? its mean.  Tell hubby you have been talking to people too and their dh's make the damn trip home tired or not. because Morgan,my  bill? he works a 17 hr day and sleeps for a few hours, sees us for an hour and does it again. drives and hour and 15 each way, but he does it tired or not. so if hubby is so damn worried maybe his lil butt should drive home, instead of staying at mommys?

oooo I am mad. I love you and your mom is not only c heering you on, she wants to knock the tar out of the meanies in your life. You know your child and you know what things to do. Let her try to ask for things hon, just to see...she is fine. (hugs) hang in there honey.

katydidsmom
by Member on Feb. 21, 2010 at 3:46 PM

You know your own child better than anyone---if you are worried about her speech, ask her doctor. I wouldn't compare her to other kids her age----every kid develops at his/her own pace. My condolences on your mom------I know what it is like not to have her around to answer your questions about what you were like as a child.

Mother to Katherine Grace, born August 23 2007




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LuvMyBellaGirl
by on Mar. 1, 2010 at 10:34 AM

 Your mom IS proud, you can bet your bottom dollar on that much!  I don't pretend to know what happens to us once we leave this lifetime, but I do know that a love this strong can't just DIE with our bodies.  No, it carries on. 

Hon, you are not doing anything wrong as a mother!  All children develop at different rates.  Don't let anyone make you feel like you're doing anything any differently than you should be!  Your daughter will learn at her own pace, she is healthy and happy.  You are doing a great job, and you can't compare her to other kids because she is her own little unique self, just like the rest of us are!  Rest assured that she will talk when she is ready.

ANGIE613
by on Mar. 1, 2010 at 10:51 AM

 My son (12 now) didn't talk until he was 2 1/2 ... and that was the help with speech therapy.  He did suffer from the "mom knows what he wants" syndrome... and I am sure Olivia is going to as well.  People are going to say what they want and when they want to... especially inlaws and hubby's.  My SO compares our daughter to that of one of his coworkers... of course Olivia is on the more advanced side so he is so elated by it.  However Olivia is not eating much table foods... she wants to feed herself (and the dog) and won't eat off a fork or spoon if she were starving to death... yet this coworkers kid is practivally feeding herself with a spoon!  Go figure.  You are doing a great job Morgan... she is just fine :) 

Oh and btw... your mom is VERY proud of you!!!

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