had a break down

[teddybear2272]

so my grandma is in the hospital.  not doing well.  my dad calls me to say we need to come see her.  now this is not the 1st time i have been to the hospital since my mom passed.  i go there alot cause my family works there (hubby, sis, bro in law, sis in law, some cousins) so we go there to take whoever to work or to eat lunch.  so yeah i have been there.  but this is the 1st time i have gone to somewhere other than the cafeteria.  i called and asked hubby to meet me in the lobby.  he did and was doing good in the elevator then when we got to the floor i got out and started shaking.  hubby said it wasnt the floor my mom was on but i couldnt stop shaking.  went down the hall but in tears and hyperventaltng by the time we got to waitng area.  took 10-15 to calm down then another 10min to get myself to go into the waiting area.  some family was there and it helped to see them but lots of memories.  then when i went into her room it was so hard.  i just kept seeing my mom.  i'm glad i went to see her.  but i came home and cried for my mom.  so glad hubby was there with me.  my rock 

 

[mefingas]

Giant hugs. I am so sorry. That could not have been easy.