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The HARDEST birthday, EVER!!

Posted by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 3:14 AM
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I am so glad this day (my 41st birthday) is over. It has been a hard day to get through. The ONLY birthday present I want I can't have: my Mom back with me. I love her and miss her so much it hurts. I feel like I have been orphaned at 40. It has been the hardest almost 4 months of my life. Its been a real struggle. Just when I think I have a handle on it, it hits me like a ton of bricks again. Will I ever get over this? I should be happy that she is not suffering anymore and that she is with God in Heaven, but all I keep thinking about is wanting her back. And I know how selfish that is of me. Does it ever get easier?

 

 

One of the last pictures of my 15 month old with his Grandma (that he will never remember). She died 19 days before he turned  a year old.

 

by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 3:14 AM
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Replies (1-5):
melanie76
by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 3:21 AM

I'm sorry for your loss.

LuvMyBellaGirl
by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 1:27 PM

You'll find that as time goes by, some days really ARE easier to get through than others.  You'll start to think of your mom and smile again, instead of cry.  While you're going through the rough times, know that we are here in this group and we absolutely understand what you are feeling.  This is a difficult process, but you're not going through it alone.

Thanks for posting.  Post anytime.

Bobbi

Bearsjen
by Group Admin on Jun. 9, 2009 at 3:03 PM

I always tell others this..it doesnt get better really it just gets different. Different in you will be able to make it thru important days and smile again, you wont always cry so deeply...you will learn to laugh again and also to even sometimes(gasp) get mad at her. I totally relate to feeling like an orphan at 37....and also how sometimes it sneaks up on you and BOOM, like it just happened. Just walk thru it sweetie, everything you are describing and feeling, we are feeling too....you are not alone I promise.(hugs) sorry about your mom. 

worrier
by Member on Jun. 10, 2009 at 10:42 AM

Hi Tweety,
  I'm so sorry that you were down on your B-day. I will be the same way on my B-day in Dec. I lost my Mom almost three months ago on St. Patrick's day. I know that she is up in Heaven with all of the saints that she so much admired and prayed to. Your Mom is no longer suffering and is at peace in Heaven. She is watching over you and your precious little boy and sees what a great mother you are. You will be with her again one sweet day as I will, until then I'm here if you need me. I know that I need all the support that I can get. Please don't hesitate to contact me.
Kris

misstweety
by New Member on Jun. 12, 2009 at 10:54 AM

I want to thank you all for the comforting words and support you have given me. It means alot to know that I am not alone in this.

thank you

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